Monsters In Paradise
by Curtis Wildcat
Summary: Odd creatures are showing up around Gensokyo, bypassing the Hakurei Barrier completely. As these creatures interact with the residents in various ways, Yukari goes on a cross-reality trip to solve this mystery, seek a means of getting them home, and get reacquainted with a magnificent world. UPDATE: Chapter 5 now posted.
1. Yuuka, Meiling

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

By: Curtis Wildcat

Pokémon and the Touhou Project are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders. As usual, keep the flames restricted to the barbecue grill.

And for the record: yes, I'm aware that the Garden of the Sun and Mugenkan aren't synonymous with each other in the Windows canon. Just throwing that out there.

/-/-/

Sunshine poured down on the vast sunflower field. Tiny birds and bugs went about their business. The temperature was just right, and a light breeze gently rocked the flowers back and forth. There was very little noise, and nothing caused any disturbances.

Just the way Yuuka Kazami liked it.

Parasol tilted just behind her head, Yuuka journeyed sedately through the sunflowers. She loved these daily walks, taking in everything that the season had to offer and revelling in the vast wonder that was the Garden of the Sun. It gave her an excuse to ponder her life, the things she enjoyed and the memories that were ingrained...

A light smirk. The shrine maiden and her enthusiastic friend had rudely barged into her home some years before, but after enough time went by she had decided that her bouts with them were amongst the fondest memories of her life. It had been quite a while since she'd needed to use more than a small fraction of her power when dealing with someone. After the spellcard system was initiated, she'd almost hoped that one of them would show up to duel her and Elly.

Aside from blaming her for an overabundance of flowers, neither of them ever did, however. Reimu was one of the laziest people in Gensokyo and never did a single ounce of unnecessary work; it was doubtful that she'd make an effort to return. Marisa likely feared her on some level, and probably believed that Yuuka was mad at her for creating her own rendition of her favorite attacks. _I suppose I can't entirely blame her, considering everything._

Yuuka never liked being disturbed, and she took the preservation of her Garden very seriously. She'd gleefully tell of her nastier tendencies within earshot of others, attempting to make them second-guess themselves or just plain scare them away. But silently, she wished that someone would join her on these walks just once...

Something hopped across her path, and she paused to regard it. A yellow and brown bulbous thing, with a leafy stem on its head and soulful eyes that almost hurt her to gaze upon. She had never seen such a creature before, so she stooped down to take a closer look.

The animal or plant, or whatever it was, stared up at her inquisitively. "Kerrnnnn?" it trilled, seeming to ask a question.

Yuuka's eyebrow raised. Whatever language it spoke, it wasn't what she was used to. Still, it felt as if it were right on the edges of her understanding. _Almost as if it were at home amongst the sunflowers..._ "You're a strange little one," she spoke. "I have lived here for a very long time, and I've never seen the likes of you before. You're no youkai, no myth or legend given life, and you're certainly no human... where did you come from, I wonder?"

More of that strange "sun-kern" noise. Feelings of peace, apprehension, fear and wonder flowed past her in quick succession. It confirmed to her that the creature was more plant than animal, at least, but she still couldn't understand a thing it was saying. She shook her head. "I don't understand you at all, but I can tell you seem at ease here. You may live here if you want so long as you don't mean my flowers any harm."

The creature jumped a few times, crying happily. Yuuka stood up and shouldered her parasol, pondering the insignificant plant-thing for a few moments, then walked past it deeper into the Garden. She still had the rest of the day ahead of her, after all.

When it hopped along close behind her, she made no attempts to discourage its actions.

/-/-/

Clusters of fairies dotted the sky.

Most of the time, the fairies knew enough not to bother Yuuka or the Garden. They were familiar with the raw strength that she had at her disposal, and they were afraid of the gentle smile that adorned her face as she scattered them to the winds. There were occasions when they threw caution to said winds and tried to bombard her regardless of the consequences, however.

Yuuka knew that there was one thing that all of those occasions had in common: there was an incident in progress. She silently pitied the poor fool who had the gall to get on Reimu's bad side.

The storm that crashed down around her was a virtual rain of danmaku. Yuuka was not a naturally swift youkai, but that slowness served its purpose as she twisted and spun through the bullet-filled barrages with precision; occasionally, she returned fire and temporarily extinguished those that opposed her. She could hear the panicked cries of the bulb plant on the ground below her, and she chuckled. _Pay attention, little one, for you are receiving a crash course in the art of dodging._

Deciding that she wanted a breather, Yuuka opened her parasol and levelled it at the incoming hordes. Magic particles drifted into it, a sign that energy was being gathered... and then a tremendous beam of power was torn loose, wider than anything Marisa was capable of producing. The fairies' angry yells turned to screams of surprise as they were unable to turn away, and they were reduced to so much dust.

The Master Spark faded out, and Yuuka surveyed the sky. The most distant bunches of winged nuisances were far enough way that they dodged the attack in time, but the display of power was enough to give them pause. Nodding, she permitted a brief look at her companion to see how it fared, smiling when she noticed that it had taken cover amidst the sunflower stalks. "I guess you still have a ways to go," she told it, floating down close enough for it to hear her clearly.

But the sentient plant was not looking at her... at least, not directly. Its eyes were shifted just a bit off to the side, and after a few seconds it started hopping again and trilling eagerly. Yuuka wondered briefly what it was that had gotten its attention, and glanced back ahead of her to see if the remaining fairies had made any moves; the pests had not budged from their positions, however, and in fact seemed to be in the middle of an argument amongst themselves. _What is it that has it worked up?..._

And then she realized that the plant's eyes were pointed directly at her parasol. She nodded. _Of course._ "That was my Master Spark," she informed it proudly. "I take it you like what you see?"

A vague sense of approval accompanied the plant's reply, with eagerness and determination close on its heels. Yuuka could only guess at what it was trying to say, but she gave it a suitable response. For a few moments she couldn't believe what she was saying. "You... want to help me fight?"

An affirmative. "Sun-kern!"

Yuuka couldn't help chuckling; the whole thing was just too funny. The creature couldn't have been much bigger than half the length of her arm, it was weak enough that any one of those fairies could've defeated it in a fight, and it had just witnessed her casually wiping the floor with them. Where did it get off being so confident all of a sudden?

And why did she feel like humoring the little plant? "You can tag along, I suppose," she decided, maneuvering the creature onto her parasol and lifting it up onto her shoulder. "Just be sure that you can pull your own weight. I will not be held responsible if anything happens to you."

That was definitely a determined vibe she was getting from the creature. Yuuka gave it an approving look, then took to the skies to drive the rest of the pests away.

Their argument- - -whatever it was- - -having come to an abrupt end, the fairies fought back against her the best they could. It was fruitless, of course; none of their bullets came even close to winging her. She laughed, swinging her parasol and smacking several of them aside before blasting others with flower-shaped danmaku.

As she fought, she kept the little plant in her periphereal vision. Like Yuuka had been doing in preparation for the Master Spark, magic particles- - -or at least she assumed they were magical in nature- - -were starting to gather around its leaves. _Hmm, I wonder... is it going to fire a Spark of its own? ...It's doubtful. There's very little strength in it from what I can tell. To mimic my attack, it would need a large reservoir of power that it could call on..._

"Suuunnnn..."

A squad of seven fairies, a bit larger than the rest, closed in on Yuuka from the side. They were completely focused on her, ignoring the peculiar shining growth on her shoulder. The flower-loving youkai turned towards them, smiling and beckoning them towards her with a finger. If anything this served to enrage the batch, and they decided upon firing the largest and quickest bullets that they could summon.

_"KERRRRNNNNN!"_

As her vision lit up, Yuuka froze. She supposed she should have realized it a bit sooner. Her tagalong was obviously a plant, or close enough for it not to matter. She had figured that the power needed to mimic the Master Spark would've needed to come from somewhere, and the creature did not possess any internal stores of that power. Instead, it was drawing on the most obvious source of energy required for its existence!

That energy came to the fore as a beam of intensified sunlight erupted from the little creature, spearing the fairy formation dead center. It wasn't anywhere close to matching Marisa's power, let alone her own, but it would suffice for the task at hand. Yuuka rotated a little bit, allowing the beam to sweep across the sky and exterminate what was left of the rabble.

The blast was extinguished a few short seconds later, leaving the plant somewhat lethargic, but the job was done; for the time being at least the fairies wouldn't be bothering anyone, least of all Yuuka. The youkai dropped back to the ground, keeping her free hand on her shoulder to prevent the plant from falling off.

"Sunnn..." the pipsqueak murmured. There was both tiredness and satisfaction in that high-pitched voice.

"You had the right idea," Yuuka told it, resuming her twice-interrupted walk. "Although... I don't know if you possess an alternate means of attack, but I suggest you consider using that instead next time. It took entirely too much time for you to prepare yourself; a lot can happen in the space of a few seconds."

"Kerrnnn."

"Hmm... and as long as you're going to be staying here in the Garden, you'll need a name. I just can't call you 'thing' all the time."

"Sun-kern."

Yuuka stopped for a moment, pondering, then nodded and smiled. "Alright. 'Sunkern' it is."

"Kerrnnn!"

/-/-/

The sun was nearing the western horizon when Yuuka finished her walk; aside from the fairy attack, nothing remotely earth-shattering took place. Not too far from where the Garden ended, the youkai had found a place between two sunflower stalks where Sunkern could settle in for the night; the creature was all too happy to do so, leaving Yuuka to fly the short distance between the Garden and a concealed, winding path that eventually led to her true home, Mugenkan.

The clanging of metal against metal greeted her ears as she reached the end of the path, and her eyebrows raised. _An intruder?_ She touched down nearby and walked towards the entrance, curious as to who Elly was fighting.

Another creature, this one human-sized and buglike. It's scythe-like arms lashed out, repeatedly deflecting the real deal before reaching out to try and score a hit. It didn't look to be an all-out fight so much as a simple spar between evenly-matched opponents from her perspective, and even if it weren't, the injury-negating magic circles associated with the spell card system were already in place. Neither of the two seemed to be taking the fight all that seriously, and the bug didn't look as if it were trying to break into her home...

Yuuka shook her head. _I don't want to know. Whatever's going on, it can wait until after my nap._ Walking past them both, she stepped into Mugenkan and left them behind, the occasional cry of "Hyyyaaa!" and "Scy-ther!" ringing out behind her.

**-GAP-**

It wasn't the purring noise that roused Yukari to wakefulness one evening. It wasn't the nervous bustling of her shikigami, neither was it the sounds of life outside her window.

It was the weight.

On one occasion, she'd overslept and wouldn't wake up at the time she'd asked Ran to rouse her at. Chen, feeling playful, began to stack numerous items from around the house on top of her: articles of clothing, an old Sony Walkman, Scotch tape, and a half-filled manilla folder, amongst other things, all in an effort to see how much weight she could stack on without waking up Yukari. By the time she was done, the resulting pile was a meter high- - -and the youkai _still_ hadn't woken up yet. It wasn't until a tiny bug fluttered in through the open window and came to rest at the top of the pile that she finally emerged from dreamland, much to the others' disbelief.

This time, it wasn't a heap of random stuff positioned on her stomach and chest that she saw when her eyes opened. It was a yellowish furry thing with the biggest triangle ears- - -and purple at that- - -that she'd ever seen on something that size. The animal- - -some strange cat, no doubt- - -was purring, a noise that would've soothed anyone else. It seemed fond of her, pleased merely by being in her presence.

And then Yukari's eyes shot all the way open as her brain completely started up. _Well, this is... twisted. I never thought I'd see one of them in _this_ part of reality..._

Noticing her wakefulness, the Delcatty got into her face for a closer look. "Myaow?" it asked, still purring as it touched noses with her.

Yukari heard Ran unsuccessfully trying to restrain her laughter and quietly vowed to chuck a bag of dry cat food at her the next chance she got.

**-GAP-**

"Yukari-sama, are you sure about this?"

Ran stood back, watching Yukari exchange her favored dress for unfamiliar attire: a violet blouse and white slacks, both of which appeared made for rugged travel; a brown leather belt with six empty compartments, durable red-and-white shoes and violet wristbands. Her cap was all that remained of her traditional outfit.

"Quite sure, Ran. We would have known if these creatures were native to Gensokyo, and Reimu and I would have found out in short order if they'd fallen in from the outside." Yukari shrugged off Ran's attempt to assist her. "I'm preparing to carry out an investigation. I have a few leads to follow, and if everything goes as planned I should be able to get to the bottom of this before too long."

"Hopefully your investigation is taken care of quickly." Ran ignored the playful giggling and meowing as Chen ran in circles somewhere nearby, keeping the Delcatty company. She seemed to like having a new playmate. "Without you around to keep an eye on the border... well, it just makes me nervous."

"As long as Reimu is still in Gensokyo, it will be fine," Yukari said confidently, grabbing her parasol. "The border is not a house of cards, Ran. It is not going to fall at the slightest touch, so don't worry your head over it. Just follow your regular schedule and let Reimu know if anything turns up."

"...Alright, Yukari-sama," Ran agreed reluctantly, pressing an ice pack against her left temple and concealing the bruise left behind by an errant cat food bag. "As you wish... but if I may inquire, why the different clothes? It's not like you to travel by... _traditional_ methods."

Yukari didn't reply at first, instead focusing on her reflection in the mirror. She reached through the borders, searching for what the clothes meant to her and what they represented. She brought to mind the memories that she made there, of a place she had discovered through the overpowering lure of boredom. She thought of the challenge that living there brought, and the enjoyment that came with it. She reminded herself of the land that she had seen there, the love that she had once felt for it akin to what she felt whenever she gazed upon Gensokyo...

A portal tore open in front of the mirror, this one significantly different from the standard gaps Yukari took to get from one place to another. It gave a sense of her full power, rippling away from the edges and distorting the air; also worthy of note was that the eyes associated with said gaps seemed to _dissolve_ partway in. Satisfied with its stability, she took a step into the portal... and only then did she dain to respond to Ran's inquiry.

"Let's just say that I want to pay a visit to an old friend."

/-/-/

It was a smell that drove it to do what it did that afternoon, ultimately.

Having detected the scent of its favorite food, it had followed the silver-haired human up a mountain _(A human flying? Fancy that)._ It had looked on as the human visited a dark-haired associate and gave her some berries _(for use in flavored water? What silly things they drink)._ It had figured to take some from the dark-haired one, but she and one other had used them quickly and left none for itself.

Still wanting the berries, it had decided to trail after Silver-Hair; she was still carrying a sufficient quantity of them to satisfy its hunger. The wily human had flown over a large lake in an attempt to ditch her pursuer, but circling around the lake took little time for someone of its ability. The human had landed outside a large building and walked inside, leaving it behind.

_She still has what I want. I did not come this far just to go hungry the rest of the day. I shall have to enter her lair and take my food for myself._

There sat a reddish-haired human next to the gate, sound asleep beneath the noon sun. It paid her no mind as it paced up to the gate, appraised it, and bounded over it with only a slight effort. Nodding in determination, it continued towards the front door.

/-/-/

Behind the self-confident intruder, Meiling's eyes opened. An inhuman scream of challenge scattered the birds from the trees and got the visitor's attention as she somersaulted over the wall; she had no time to savor its surprise before she was upon it, fists and feet flying.

/-/-/

In the Mansion's foyer, Sakuya paused as Meiling's yelling reached her ears. _A challenger at this time of day? What poor soul interrupted her siesta? _She took her time walking back to the door. _Probably just some minor youkai or would-be magician. I don't think my lady would appreciate me disturbing her sleep for something as inconsequential as that..._

Opening the door, she stepped out into the courtyard...

_"BLAZ-I-KENNNN!"_

...uttered an "eep" and ducked as a flaming wave billowed over her head.

Once the fire extinguished itself against the Mansion's protective magic, Sakuya stood back up again. As she reassessed the situation, she shook her head. _Only in Gensokyo can you find a flaming rooster fighting a Chinese youkai in a martial arts duel,_ she told herself, watching as they traded punches, kicks, and danmaku in a furious dance that took them across both ends of the courtyard.

Making her decision, Sakuya grabbed her watch and froze time around her. Not in any hurry, she traversed the halls until she reached Remilia's quarters. Allowing time to continue on as normal, she knocked on the door a few times. "My lady? Lady Remilia, are you awake?"

An ominous creaking, a soft yawn, and the padding of feet against the floor. Remilia cracked open the door, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Sakuya, why are you disturbing my sleep at this time of the day? This had better be good."

"I just wanted to inform you that Meiling has accepted a challenger and is currently engaged in combat, my lady," Sakuya explained. "I wasn't sure whether you wanted to watch or not."

"...Hmm... to go back to sleep or watch my favorite guard go about her work...both are enjoyable in their own ways..." Remilia murmured indecisively. "...Who's she fighting this time? Do you know?"

"A newcomer to Gensokyo, I imagine," Sakuya told her.

"Ugh..." Remilia growled, facepalming. "I wish Yakumo would understand that she can't just keep dragging people in from the outside left and right... sooner or later they end up here, and I have to put on this whole 'haughty ominous noblewoman' charade, then after some back-and-forth, including a possible confrontation with Flandre, I have to direct them to Reimu- - -"

"My lady?" Sakuya interrupted. "You asked me to stop you if you started ranting again."

"Oh... my apologies, Sakuya." Remilia covered another yawn, although the tips of her fangs were visible. "I was in the middle of a bad dream, is all..." She held up a hand to stop Sakuya's concern before it got too far. "I'll tell you about it later. Now, about that challenger?"

"Oh... yes. Meiling's combatant is a flaming chicken kickboxer."

Beat.

"...Sakuya, I'm happy that you decided to work on your sense of humor, but..."

The head maid remained silent. Remilia lowered her face towards the ground, exasparated. "You're... not making it up... are you?"

Sakuya smiled assuringly. "If I needed to do such a thing, I would not have wanted to rouse you from your slumber."

A sigh. "Fine..." Remilia conceded, grabbing a red robe and securing it as she left her quarters. "May as well get a spot of entertainment before I go back to sleep... let's go, Sakuya."

Sakuya nodded and grabbed her watch.

/-/-/

_"GRAAAHHHHHH!"_

Meiling didn't know why the animal was intent on its intrusion, and she didn't care. All that mattered to her was evicting it from the premises. As such she was still in full "berserk fury" mode, pushing the pace hard and not giving her enemy a chance to rest.

_"BLAZIKEN!"_

It didn't know what it had done to get on this human's bad side, or that she was something other than human. It cared only that the food it wanted was somewhere in that large building, and _she was in the way._ With a battle cry it leaped into the air and came down fast, flames flaring to life around its right foot.

Meiling met it in mid-air, her chi clashing against its fire as the Blaze Kick was countered with a Sky Dragon Kick. The two equal forces cancelled each other out with a noisy _bang,_ knocking them both away. Blaziken was able to right itself before it reached the ground, skidding back some; Meiling stumbled upon landing, but recovered her footing in time.

The gatekeeper took a few seconds to recover, and her anger receded just enough for her to recognize that the creature before her was unfamiliar to her. _It doesn't give off the same vibes that a youkai normally would. What is it that I'm looking at? That its well-grounded in hand-to-hand combat is obvious, but..._ She smiled, happy that she was doing her job. _I'm still between it and the door. It shall not get away! It..._ Meiling's eye twitched. What _is it doing?_

Blaziken decided that its current efforts to defeat this weird human in battle were unsatisfactory. Deciding to take it up a notch, it cracked its knuckles, tightened its fists and _**flexed.**_ All throughout its body, its muscles expanded a bit and became denser, building up its strength. As it finished it struck a pose, showing off its power.

Grimacing, Meiling felt like she was looking at a Master Spark head-on; she didn't want to stare, but she couldn't look away. Willing herself to concentrate on the fight, she braced herself and focused. Her inner reserves of ki were brought to the fore, replenishing the energy she'd expended thus far and hopefully increasing her own strength to match that of the opponent's...

But the rooster didn't have the courtesy to allow her to finish her powerup before it dashed at her again. Meiling had just enough time to cross her arms in front of her face before a tremendous blow struck there, lifting her off her feet and rocketing her towards the Mansion's front doors.

/-/-/

Time pulsed in the Mansion's foyer. Sakuya and Remilia appeared in a white flash where there had previously been nothing. The maid was carrying Remilia's parasol in one hand; for all that it was cloudy today, the sun could make itself known at any time.

Putting her watch away, Sakuya reached out and tugged open the doors, ready to duck in case more fire was shot her way...

_"WAH!"_

_"Wh-ooof?!"_

...and was instead greeted with a wall of green and red. At the moment the doors fully opened, Meiling flew through it and crashed into Sakuya back-first. Remilia sweatdropped as she watched the two bounce halfway across the foyer before they stopped.

The mansion's mistress walked up to them, shaking her head. She could tell that a bruise was already beginning to form on one of Meiling's arms, which had to have taken a _lot_ of strength to accomplish. "Really, Meiling... next time draw it out a bit more, huh? I missed it all."

Meiling massaged her arm, looking depressed. "My apologies, mistress..."

"Get _off_ of me, please."

Realizing what she was sitting on, Meiling quickly rolled off of the disgruntled maid. "Oops. Sorry, Sakuya!"

"Blaziken."

Remilia turned towards the door while the others worked themselves to their feet. She smiled. _Hmm? So she was right after all... Interesting variety of bird that we have here. An otherwise extinct species, maybe?_

The kickboxing rooster stood framed in the door, eyes not on her or on Meiling. Sakuya grabbed a few knives and a spell card, ready to attack in case the creature made any threatening moves, but a gesture from Remilia made her stay her hand. As it reached towards her, she glared coldly at the stranger who dared step this close...

...and did a double take when the rooster, instead of attacking them, grabbed the bag of berries that she hadn't yet put away. "Blaze... blazi-ken," it uttered, turning and walking away. As it left the Mansion it reached into the bag, withdrawing a handful of berries and savoring their sweet flavor as it ate.

Silence and ellipses enveloped them as they watched the bird jump back over the gate and disappear into the mist. A full minute later Meiling was the first to speak, her jaw dropping open and her hands tightening. "Why with the... you know, if people around here actually _talked_ more often...!"

Sakuya held up her hands placatingly, her weapons put away. "Easy, Meiling, calm down. I wasn't aware that I was being followed."

Remilia braced herself against the wall with one hand, unable to restrain her laughter as the two argued. _A spot of entertainment, indeed!_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sunkern's moveset: Mega Drain, Leech Seed, Razor Leaf, Solar Beam

Approximate Level: 17

**Yuuka's Notes:** The Garden's newest occupant is still young and very weak, and I feel it might always be so. If it is allowed to grow this might change, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Whether it does or not, I shall keep my eyes on it for the time being.

/-/

Blaziken's moveset: Flamethrower, Bulk Up, Superpower, Blaze Kick

Approximate Level: 44

**Meiling's Notes:** The nerve of that bird! If it at least waited until I woke up, or if it had given some indication when we fought that it was hungry...! Ugh... well, anyway, I'll continue to do what I can to keep myself in peak condition in case it ever returns. Maybe having a sparring partner wouldn't be a bad idea... I should look into that.


	2. Marisa, Reisen

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

**Chapter Two**

By: Curtis Wildcat

Pokémon and the Touhou Project are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders.

Apologies for the delay. I can't speak for anyone else, but I found Reisen difficult to write for.

Spot the Bob Newhart reference in this chapter and reward yourself with a cookie.

/-/-/-/

"I love you."

For people unacquainted with romance, those words could be the most difficult things to say. They conveyed an awful lot, and the wise person knew better than to throw around those words lightly. He or she had better know what they were talking about, lest they learn the hard way what love was not and become the lead character in a televised soap opera.

"I hope you stay with me forever."

Marisa both understood what she wanted to say and the meaning that she intended to convey. Never did clearer thoughts occupy her mind.

"You can trust that I will retrieve you, should the wind blow you off."

...Or at least she _thought_ she understood, considering that she was paying a visit to Dreamland. But she was sure that her hat, hanging silently on a hook near the door halfway across the house, accepted her endearing words with grace and dignity.

It was a very good thing that no one knew what the Ordinary Magician was like outside the public eye.

At the front door, something groaned as it flew through said door without disturbing it. No one was close enough to pick up on any outspoken thoughts, but if they were, they might have heard something akin to _"lost... tired... want to sleep..." _Some noiseless shuffling, and then all was still once more.

/-/-/-/

"...Sheesh, that was quite a dream," Marisa mused as she fixed her breakfast a few hours later, becoming more awake as the minutes wore by and shaking off the last effects of sleep. "Patchy and I in some sort of magic school, her being healthy and throwing this orange ball around an arena one-handed while I'm struggling for recognition from the public..." A smirk. "I ought to run this one by them later and see what they think... still, the sooner I finish this experiment, the better. It must be messing with my mind."

"Maaaggg..."

Marisa looked up and around the room, certain that she had heard a strange noise. She went so far as to check the next room, but aside from all the stuff that she'd 'collected', she saw only her hat hanging where it was supposed to be. "Hrm... must've been the wind," she muttered as she returned to her breakfast. "Been a bit breezy out there lately... like there's a lot of changes going on, or something."

The rest of her meal was spent in an uneventful silence.

/-/-/

"Now, let's see..." Marisa stood before the door a while later, broom in hand. "I have some time to kill before that mixture fully settles... it's been a week or two since I last bugged Alice or Patchouli, so I suppose I could see what's on their minds... and, of course, visiting Reimu for some afternoon tea and shooting the breeze... there's always the possibility of something new cropping up, too..." She grinned. "So many options, so little time, ze."

Deciding on a course of action, she threw open the door, grabbed her hat off its hook and placed it on her head...

_"MAGIUS!"_

"What the...?! Hey, get off of my- - -!"

...And blacked out as a curtain of darkness draped itself across her vision. Marisa struggled and tried to pull it off, but whatever it was that had attacked her had a death grip on her face. "Stop it! C'mon, let go! Let... go...?"

_"Misss-maaaa-giiiii-ussssss...!"_

Marisa's struggles ceased, her face blank. She had just had a good night's sleep and was brimming with energy, but there was something about that call that felt _fantastically_ soothing...

**CLUNK.**

/-/-/

As she passed out on the floor, what Marisa had thought to be her hat pulled itself free from her head. Straightening and turning around, it expanded to its full height and hovered over her worriedly.

She didn't mean to knock her out like that, but really; that human startled her, so it was her own fault! Waking her up while she was hunkered down and resting... It wasn't her fault that her species looked like that. It was just a coincidence! Silly human! That was the last time that she'd sleep in someone's home without their knowledge. And no more traveling through colorful swirly tunnels, either. Nuh-uh!

As the Mismagius continued justifying those things to herself, she still couldn't help but concern herself with the human's well-being. The ghost Pokémon was very young, having hatched just two weeks and a day before; not long after that she had discovered a Dusk Stone entirely by accident, triggering her evolution. She had known only one human: a nice pink-haired lady who fed her every day and cared for injured Pokémon. She was thus under the assumption that there wasn't a single bitter berry in the bunch, so what right did she have to attack this one?

Mismagius sighed sadly at what she had done, deciding to make amends. Summoning what little power she had, she levitated the human's hat- - -which had been on the _next_ hook over- - -and placed it on the girl's head. She wasn't sure what to do next, but then she remembered: food and drink had helped her the few times that she felt sad. Why wouldn't it be true in this case?

Her decision made, she turned and drifted off to find something to make the human feel better, unknowing of what she had caused to transpire inside Marisa's subconscious...

/-/-/

Marisa wasn't sure what had happened. One minute she was getting ready to visit Alice, and the next she was standing on a grassy plain. No mountains or trees, nothing; just miles of grass and clear blue sky. It was very quiet... one could say almost _too_ quiet. "Weird. What's going on here?"

"Marisa."

The magician whirled around at the voice, but stopped and settled down when she saw who it was. "Oh; it's you. What brings you to my corner of paradise, Patchy?" she asked with a grin.

"It's nothing much." The librarian fidgeted with her cap, clearly nervous as she kept her distance. "It's just... well, I've been doing some thinking recently about your repeated thefts from the library."

"_Borrowing,_ ze. Anyway, you were saying?"

"It occurred to me that you would not have done so without a good reason. Your tenacity is to be admired... it's a trait that I find lacking in myself. Please continue your visits where possible."

Marisa smiled, but she couldn't _quite_ shake the feeling that something was off. "Flattery will get you somewhere, but you didn't come here just to tell me that. Is something wrong?"

Patchouli flinched. "...Am I really that transparent?"

"Like glass."

"...Well, yes. I wanted to find an appropriate way to thank you, so I did as much research as I could. Thankfully, a foreign cat youkai I'd met gave me the inspiration I needed. As it was I'd spent the better part of the afternoon preparing this."

That dangerous feeling was getting stronger. "Well? Is it something edible or isn't it?"

"It's not edible, but I think you'll like this just the same." Patchouli blushed and smiled, probably feeling pleased with herself for confessing...

...And with a flick of her fingers, a Spell Card materialized in her hand. "_Koakuma Sign: Precision Cow Strike!"_

A sweatdrop. "What...?!"

At a yell of _"Milllll!"_, she looked up. There was Koakuma up there, smiling and waving apologetically... and lo and behold, Marisa could see a pink cow with a comically frightened expression on its face, dropping end over end away from the assistant towards her! Not wasting time contemplating the absurdity of this situation, the magician hopped onto her broom and jetted away...

An explosion rocked the world.

/-/-/-/

With a sudden yell the human sat up. Mismagius recoiled in surprise, almost knocking over the cup that was next to her on the kitchen table. Maybe carrying her in here hadn't been very smart of her, but...

"...Ugh. What in blazes?" Marisa growled, the last images of that vision fading. "Weirdness is one thing, but this goes beyond weird." Seeing Mismagius hovering a short distance away, her eyes dilated for just a moment before she pointed a finger at her. "_It was you, ghosty!"_

_I didn't mean it!_ Mismagius shrieked telepathically, hiding underneath the table as if she thought it would help her any. _Please don't point at me!_

"What...?" Marisa stooped down, glaring at her suspiciously. "Can't you speak normally? I'd like to win these head games, not lose 'em!"

Mismagius continued as if she hadn't heard her. _I didn't mean to knock you out! I was sound asleep, and the next thing I knew I was being shoved onto your head! Please don't be mad at me, but that really hurts and I don't like it when someone is mad at me, it makes me all sad and stuff-_

"**HEY!"** Marisa interrupted loudly, bringing an end to the creature's babbling. The way the thing was going on, she would've thought it was a fairy in a cheap disguise, the telepathy notwithstanding; its protests sounded way too childish. "Slow down! I can't understand you at all, ze!"

Mismagius shivered, but stopped whining and calmed down. Marisa made sure her mini-hakkero was still on her person, then addressed her again. "Alright. Now then, explain. Unless you want to join the sun as a daytime star."

_I'd... I'd gone in here last night to sleep... I've never been so far from home before,_ the ghost-like creature explained, shivering again. She settled onto the floor, most of her lower body (such as it was) folding beneath her until everything below her neck was out of sight. With that done and its head tilted down, it really did look a lot like a large hat.

"Mm-hm." Marisa nodded slightly. "And it never occurred to you to _knock?_"

Mismagius looked befuddled. _What does 'knock' mean? And how do you do it?_

_She's asking __**me?**_ Marisa thought. "Forget it." The magician stood up and stretched; when a familiar smell hit her nostrils she looked down at the table, seeing the cup for the first time. "Hey, is that tea?"

_Uh-huh!_ The 'ghosty' flew back into view and floated over the cup of tea proudly. _The nice lady who feeds me makes some every day. I got it myself!_

"Uh...huh." Marisa continued to regard the tea, stopping herself for the moment from just drinking it. "You didn't put any poison in there, did you?"

_Poison? That icky stuff that living gas clouds throw up?_ Mismagius actually frowned at this. _That's sick. No, the tea's okay. I even drank some myself, and I'm still alive!_

"Nice choice of words, ze."

Marisa gave the tea a bit of thought. Whatever this animal, fairy, youkai, or whatever it was wanted, it seemed earnest. Reimu probably would've outright blasted it for causing trouble, but she was no Reimu; and the thing seemed eager to please, as if it wanted to be told what to do. _Huh... a servant, maybe?..._

_...Eh, I'll think about it later. Let's see if it botched up the tea._ Clutching the cup in her hands, she brought it up to her lips and sipped...

And gave a start as her senses tingled, sparks running through her veins. "...Zesty!" she exclaimed, smiling for the first time since the creature had woken her. She took another sip, taking a few moments to savor the taste. "This is delicious stuff, ze!"

Mismagius tilted itself a degree, curious. _Does it really taste that good? When I tried it, there wasn't anything great about it._

"It's an acquired taste, and you're young. Don't worry about it."

_'Ac-quired'?_

"Never mind." Another sip. "Where'd you get this?"

A happy smile. _From that big black bowl thingy in the next room. There was already hot water in it, so..._

Marisa's eyes widened. She had just enough time to utter an "aw, crud" before a cloud of white sparkles wrapped around her. Mismagius yelped as the same thing happened to her. _What is this? What's happening?!_

"That wasn't tea water you grabbed- - -WHOA!" Marisa found herself airborne without any input from her. She struggled to put herself down, knocking over the cup of "tea" in doing so, only to find herself levitating towards Mismagius instead. "That was a new potion I was putting together! It wasn't even supposed to be finished until this afternoon!"

The frightened creature didn't even think to ask what a 'potion' was, nor would it have had the time to. As soon as they came into contact with each other, there was a blinding flash. Hidden in the light, their respective molecules broke apart and went about rearranging themselves...

/-/-/-/

Calmness in the library, one of the very best things that Patchouli could ask for. No sign of Marisa, no Flandre barging in to declare to her that she'd learned something interesting... just nice, quiet research.

She'd heard of the ruckus outside, of course: how the rooster had gotten the best of Meiling in an attempt to invade the Mansion, and the subsequent brightening of her friend's day. Remilia had directed Patchouli to do what she could to find out what kind of bird it was; Koakuma was thus tracking down some books in the far ends of the library that might or might not hold the answers she wanted. One batch was currently being worked through, while the other was en route. _Solving problems is part of my job, and it's what I enjoy doing._

"Patchouli? Hey, Patchy?"

Patchouli didn't turn when Marisa's voice interrupted her. It was inevitable; as soon as she thought about how nice it was not to have the annoying thief visit her for a change, there she was. She frowned. "Go away, black-white. Bother Flandre or something, but don't bother me."

A whine. "Patchyyyy..."

"Look, I don't care how many times you say that you just want to borrow something. I don't want to hear your claims that you'll return my belongings when you die. I just want you to _go away_ and leave me be. Is that so much to ask for?"

"C'm_on_, Patchy. This is kinda important, ze."

"_What do you want?_" Patchouli finally snapped, turning around. "Don't you have anything better to do thaaa_aaackk!_" She jumped in surprise, almost falling out of her chair at the sight she beheld. "... Is... that you, Marisa?"

What floated before her had Marisa's face, hat and some of her hair, but her body from mid-neck down was nothing more than a writhing black dress with red jewels embedded in it. Her expression was halfway between distraught and annoyed. "A little help here, please? I seem to have bonded with a ghost hat."

...

_Ludicrously... Appropriate... Payback!_

"Pffft...!"

There was a _thump_ as the chair Patchouli was in fell over. The library was graced with a phenomenon that was only interrupted when it became necessary for her to breathe. "EH-HAHAHAHAHAHA~!"

'Marismagius' sweatdropped at the laughter. "Um... congratulations?"

**-GAP-**

The air split open, and Yukari stepped out onto a grassy path; almost as soon as her feet touched the ground, the portal behind her irised shut. An unpleasant force pushed down on her, settling around her pores, and she inhaled sharply. "There it is again..." she hissed. "This feels too stifling... it doesn't bother my flight or my natural strength, just my boundary manipulation, but it's still..."

Yukari shook her head slightly, straightening. _It doubtless has something to do with the physics of this world... but without consulting a specialist, I can only speculate. And speculation is something I don't have time for. _She looked around, searching for witnesses to her arrival; finding naught but a few wide-eyed Taillow and Linoone, she lifted off a few feet and took in her surroundings.

A desert to the distant south, and a volcano to the far west. Somewhere around ten miles away was a town, its population likely around three thousand or so. Yukari raised an eyebrow. _Seems the place had grown since I was last here. I wonder if that couple still lives there, and if they kept their promise... or if they're even still alive. It __**has**__ been fifteen years..._

A grimace. _Well, only one way to find out. For now, I'd best not fly and draw attention to myself. Time to hoof it._

Adjusting her cap a bit, she walked towards the town and tried to ignore the instinctive urge to fall asleep beneath the nearest tree.

**-GAP-**

About five hours passed.

It was a bit nice, Yukari supposed, to walk through a town and not have the people be suspicious of you. Normally she couldn't go anywhere in Gensokyo without someone being on edge; she was aware that a new title, "The Lazy Trickster", was starting to make the rounds. As a side note, she wished that whoever it was that had come up with that hadn't bothered; "Border of Phantasm" sounded much more ominous. And as Sanae probably would've put it, it was much cooler, too.

_Maybe this little sojourn will dispel the "Lazy" in "Lazy Trickster". Little comedians, the whole lot of them..._

No one in town paid her much mind; even her eye color didn't attract any attention. She was just another travelling trainer to them, perhaps wanting to head to Lavaridge or get a glass item made from the volcano's ashes. One or two people she didn't recognize waved hello, to which she answered with a polite nod. _If memory serves, the dwelling should be right around this block..._

The one-story home that she had expected to see was recognizable, but it had undergone a few cosmetic changes; there were a few bushes leading up to the door, the structure had been painted a light yellow instead of orange, and all the cracked windows had been replaced. The name on the mailbox was the same, though, so unless someone else had moved in and just hadn't changed the plate yet, Yukari was at the right place. Walking up to the door, she knocked on it a few times and waited. _Hopefully they're home. I'd like to be able to sit down for a bit._

It took a few seconds for someone to answer. Faintly Yukari could hear some footsteps approaching the door, and a bit of rattling as the door was unlocked. Finally a gray-haired man of above-average height, size, and musculature swung open the door. "Yes? How can I- - -?!"

Yukari smiled as the man's eyes widened; he recognized her, alright. The nice part was that life had not yet begun to best him, as he still looked very healthy for someone who had to be in his late sixties by now. "Kevin Layden? I do believe your wife owes me a few baked rolls from last time."

Kevin ignored the comment, a broad grin spanning his face. He gestured at the home's interior and made way for her. "Yukari! Wonderful seeing you again! Come on in, come on in!"

Yukari accepted the offer and entered.

**-GAP-**

"Wasn't sure if you'd remember me after fifteen years," the youkai admitted as she sipped from a cup of tea in the living room shortly thereafter. "What with how much the town has changed, I thought your memories would follow suit."

"You're a hard person to forget." Kevin removed a pair of glasses from his shirt pocket and put them on. "Why, I daresay you haven't changed at all!"

"I'll take that as a compliment." Yukari moved one hand to the back of her head, smothering the sweatdrop that had sprouted there. "You certainly haven't lost your sense of humor. So, is Harmony in?"

"She's out at her bakery in the marketplace." Kevin sat down in a chair, having been a bit preoccupied to do so up until then. "She should be there now if you want to speak to her."

"I can wait until she returns. This isn't as important as her business." Another sip. "How about Vulpix? How is she doing?"

Kevin shook his head. "Doing just fine, or as close to 'fine' as someone of her nature ever gets. The little fox can't stand being out of someone's sight for more than a second."

"Loneliness will do that to a soul, I'm afraid."

"Yes." Kevin stared at Yukari over his own teacup. "She's missed you, you know. You showed up in the pup's life and disappeared after roughly three months... your vanishing act was one of Hoenn's biggest mysteries for years. Vulpix was heavily depressed for the first few weeks afterward."

Yukari looked down at her reflection in the tea. "I didn't really have much choice in the matter."

"So you've said." The man frowned. "When Harmony returns, you'll have to give us the full explanation for that."

"I don't really know how much I should talk about- - -"

"Yukari, for all the length of time that you spent in town, none of us know anything about you. Nothing about where you came from, why you were passed out at Mt. Chimney, how you seemed to disappear into thin air at the end of your stay... I can't speak for my wife or Vulpix, but I would personally like to have this mystery cleared up."

The room was silent as Yukari continued to regard her tea, her expression conflicted. "...I'll try to explain things the best I can. All I ask is that you please not hold my vanishing act against me."

Kevin sipped his tea, staying quiet a few beats before he smiled. "I think that can be managed. Want to say hello to Vulpix while we wait for my wife?"

A shrug, and a smile of her own. "Sure. Why not?"

Kevin got up, setting down his tea on the table, and left the room. The back door was heard opening, and the sound of his voice echoed back to Yukari a few moments later: "Hey, runt! Get your tails in here. There's a certain woman here who wants to say hello to you!"

Something howled delightedly outside, and the _patter-patter_ of furred feet hitting the floor was the only signal Yukari received that something was amiss. She scarcely had enough time to set her tea down when a yellowish-white form landed squarely on her chest, simultaneously knocking the wind out of her and toppling over both youkai and chair.

...

Kevin re-entered the room upon hearing the impacts, his arms folded and that grin on his face again. "Yukari, say hello to _Ninetales."_

One of Yukari's hands lifted up, an index finger partly raised. "A lot heavier than they look, aren't they, Kevin?"

Ninetales was too busy giving Yukari's face an enthusiastic washing to answer.

/-/-/-/-/-/

A brownish, furred form flitted through the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.

There wasn't any real danger; the many lifeforms that hid there were content to observe it from afar. The skies were clear, leaving nothing detrimental in sight. The way was free of obstacles, and that meant that the Eevee could focus on its goals: figuring out where it was, what it could safely eat, and how it could get home if need be.

Eevee hadn't seen any other Pokémon in the short time it had been here, which was all well and good. It was a loner at heart, choosing to despise the company of others even as it sought a trainer worthy of it. That particular mission was complicated, though, by its own blatant dismissal of humanity. Eevee was cursed, so to speak, with bad timing; it had been alive for two years, and never once had it encountered a trainer that met its lofty standards (although it knew they existed; from afar it had once witnessed a dark-skinned human sparring with a Conkeldurr and taking his loss in stride, and had recognized his qualities for what they were).

The point is, Eevee was entirely self-sufficient and it knew it, but it did not want to remain so forever. There _had_ to be someone who had what it took to bring out its inner strengths. _Is it my destiny to be sought after by fools and imbeciles who can't even take care of themselves, let alone their Pokémon? They wouldn't know humility if they were slapped with it! Why can't I ever meet another human that isn't a sour berry at heart? If none will show themselves to me... then I may as well not submit myself to them at all!_

However, time- - -and Tewi Inaba- - -was about to provide Eevee with a loophole. As it continued its dash through the Forest's many narrow passages, heading for who knows where, it placed its feet down on a recently-disturbed patch of grass. The forest floor unexpectedly gave way, and with an unnerved shriek the Eevee lost its balance and plummeted into the depths of a concealed pit.

/-/-/

"Hm?"

Somewhere within Eientei, Reisen looked up from the low table she was seated at, the tips of her ears twitching a little. All of her duties for the day were finished for the moment, and she and Eirin were taking a few moments to enjoy a round of mahjongg before the latter retired for the evening. Granted the moon rabbit wasn't doing as well as she would like, but it was the thought that counted.

Reisen recognized the yell's tone; she regularly did the same thing whenever one of Tewi's practical jokes caught her off guard. She jumped to her feet. "Master, could you excuse me a few moments?"

Eirin occasionally had her own fun at Reisen's expense, but she knew that her long ears weren't for decoration; if she'd heard something suspicious, she knew better than to question her. "Is something wrong, Udonge?"

"We have a visitor... and an unhappy one, I think."

Eirin waved her off. "Go on ahead. And don't forget to be hospitable if it's someone we know."

Reisen chuckled weakly, but nodded and flew out of the room. She wasn't always the best around people, but she knew better than to antagonize them.

/-/-/

_Another day come and gone, like the hundreds of thousands before them._

After Reisen left, Eirin allowed her thoughts to drift. Mortals, including those who were long-lived but whose lifespans fell far short of _Remilia's_, let alone her own, often had little to no accurate picture of 'forever'. What was twenty years before a lifetime? What was a lifetime before a dynasty? What was a dynasty before a millennia? What was a millennia before... and the chain would go on. Having looked after Kaguya for centuries, and having lived for ages before that, she felt that she had as close of a picture of it as was possible.

And that picture, to her distaste, had been loaded with monotony. Changes were in order from time to time, lest she or Kaguya seek out 'creative' ways to cure their boredom. On one occasion, Eirin took one of her "nightmare pills" before going to bed; after dreaming about color-coded copies of Yuyuko chasing her around a maze, she realized that other alternatives had to be sought.

Eirin liked to learn, to put her knowledge to work; the 'Brain of the Moon' didn't earn her title by being lazy, after all, and practicing medicine was her way of benefiting those she met. Through her practice, she had met numerous kinds of both humans and youkai: the nice, the mean, the strange, the mentally insane, those driven by negative emotions... and a few, like Marisa Kirisame's father, who were complete oddballs on the surface but had otherwise clear minds. While she'd been in seclusion, it couldn't be said that she hadn't experienced a lot-...

"Master? Help."

The Lunarian looked up as Reisen, grimacing in pain, re-entered the room. Attached to her left ear, teeth sunk in, was a little growling brown ball of fluff. Eirin sweatdropped. _Along that train of thought, I suppose there's no better way to cure boredom than to meet something or someone new..._

/-/-/

"Is it going to be alright?"

Eirin didn't look up, busy as she was with treating the little animal's injury. "It should be," she said, keeping her words simple for Reisen's sake; the moon rabbit tried, she really did, but she still didn't have a thorough understanding of medical terminology. "You said you found it in one of Tewi's pitfall traps, correct? From what I can discern, it just landed wrong. The fall from that height must've been a bit much for its muscles to handle, but as long as it rests and stays still, it should be fine by mid-morning."

Reisen nodded, still looking a touch concerned. One hand went up to ear, feeling the bandage there. "And my ear? You still haven't told me what I should do about it, master."

"I suggest a heavy dose of painkillers and bedrest, Udonge," Eirin answered, smiling thinly as she finished her work.

"For an _ear bite?_" Reisen blurted out, disbelieving. "Are you _serious?_"

"Not entirely." Reisen tilted sideways a few degrees, but Eirin wasn't finished speaking. "This creature's fangs are tiny, but strong. I needed to apply pliers before I could safely dislodge it and treat the wound. That should tell you something."

The animal smiled, seeming almost proud. Reisen ignored it, frowning. "What _should_ it be telling me? That I shouldn't be putting my face near a wild youkai's teeth?"

"That, and getting an earring just became a bit cheaper."

Reisen pouted and looked away, instead choosing to give the patient a more thorough look. There was any number of youkai who called the Bamboo Forest home aside from the rabbits, but she decided she hadn't lived here long enough if she didn't know what type it was. "So... what kind of youkai is this, master?"

Eirin, who had been giving the pleased animal a light scratching behind the ears, paused. "Hmm... I thought it was a tiny fox at first, but now I'm starting to wonder..."

The creature looked up at her curiously. "Eev?" it squeaked.

"From its face, I'd thought it was a rare breed of rabbit," Reisen brought up. "But that can't be right... it has that collar of fur around its neck, and the thick pointed tail..."

"You're both wrong," Kaguya's voice interrupted. Those in the room looked up as the door slid open, allowing the exiled princess to enter. "It should be a given that it's a kedama."

Eirin blinked at both her entry and her claim. "Well, yes. That _would_ be a given, but it doesn't really have the same _form..._"

"Look at it." Kaguya walked up to them, stooping down to bring herself to the creature's level. "It's small. It's fuzzy. It's cute. It even has that weird expression on its face. What else would it be _but_ a kedama?"

Reisen sweatdropped. "I don't think you should go around claiming that without knowing for sure, Princess Kaguya... It's not like we've had too many of those around here."

The animal didn't seem to care what Kaguya thought of it, opening its mouth wide in a yawn as it exhibited complete disinterest... and expelling a large bubble from its mouth. The others watched it as it floated towards Kaguya in slow motion; the princess looked at it curiously, transfixed... until it popped on contact with her face. Murmuring tiredly, she sunk to the floor and fell asleep without any further ado.

"Uh... what? Princess? Come on, who said you could sleep in here? Wake up, please!" Reisen protested, trying to rouse her unsuccessfully.

Eirin looked between Kaguya and the creature a few times, an eyebrow raised, before settling on the latter. "I knew yawning was contagious, but I don't think that's _quite_ the spirit of the expression," she uttered. "Udonge? Excuse me?"

Reisen looked up. "Yes, master?"

"I'd like you to get acquainted with our little friend here, at least until we can decide for sure what it is. What I would _especially_ like for you to do would be to ensure that it's truly harmless. If it is, wonderful. If not..."

"Ee-vee," the animal growled, probably put off at the implication that it was anything _but_ harmless.

"..." A slow nod as Eirin's steel tone settled onto Reisen's mind. "I understand, master; I can do that. What about you?"

Eirin smiled sunnily. "Me? I'm going to bed, of course. Sweet dreams, Udonge!" she declared, exiting the room and turning left out of view.

Reisen's jaw dropped; if she had been looking at her new charge, she would've seen that same expression on its own face. "Say _what?!"_

"_Veeee?!"_

A few beats, then Eirin poked her head back into the room, still beaming. "Oh, and lest I forget, getting up in the middle of mahjongg counts as a forfeit. I win again."

_"Master, just go to bed already!"_

/-/-/-/

It had taken considerable time for "Udonge" to get settled down after that, but those minutes were spent carrying (read: dragging) "Kaguya" to her room and figuring out what Eevee liked to eat. Thankfully, there had been no sign of the person who had set that trap, and the little Pokémon wasn't picky about its food. Enough time had gone by for both parties to fully calm down.

Something about these people had gotten Eevee's senses tingling ever since the rabbit-eared being had jumped into the pit to pull it out. If it had ever met a youkai prior to today, it would've been more suspicious. Instead, Eevee was more curious than anything else. The residents here looked human (mostly), but there was just enough of a difference in scent to make the Pokémon wonder. _If they aren't human, then what are they? And why does this one have those strange ears?_

Eevee could still feel the pain from its awkward landing earlier, so even without the silver-haired lady's instructions it felt no need to move around much. It and Udonge were sitting just outside the front door (the former allowing itself to be carried there), enjoying the light breeze and the view.

And what a view it was! A cloudless night, with no sign of precipitation. The sky was liberally sprinkled with stars, surrounding the faraway moon. From where the duo sat the satellite seemed larger than life, taking up four times more room than it should've been and permitting it to be viewed in greater detail. The **thuds** from somewhere close by, which Eevee would later come to learn were the local rabbit youkai hard at work, served to make the sight more awe-inspiring. The sight was such that it couldn't help but smile.

Eevee looked up at Udonge's face to see what she thought of the sight, but it hadn't quite managed to look her in the eyes before they closed tight. _What's the big deal?_ it thought in wonderment. _Why won't she let me focus on her?_ It reached out with a paw, tapping the strange-eared girl's hand. "Eev? Ee-vee?"

"What is it?" Udonge asked. "And... please don't look me in the eyes when you talk."

"Ee_-vee?"_ the Pokémon asked, a bit indignant as it turned its head away. _Why? Is it rude?_

"If you're asking me why not... well, it's for your own safety." Udonge still wouldn't open her eyes.

"Eev?"

"Well, I'm..." Udonge blushed a little. "I guess the word for it would be 'anti-social'. I'm not at my best around people I'm not acquainted with. I have these powers, you see, and they're tied directly to my eyes..."

Eevee stayed quiet and listened as the odd-eared girl explained her powers in detail. Manipulation of waves, including brain waves and such, the means by which she could induce insanity in others... it sounded a lot like the attacks and abilities of a Pokémon. _But that can't be right; I know there are some that resemble humans, but she's __**too**__ human-looking. On the other paw, she doesn't quite have the right scent for a human... which is she? Or is she something else altogether?_

"...so the whole point of this is that I don't want to mess with your mind," Udonge was saying, wrapping up her explanation. "Something I know from experience is that if it happens, people start getting angry... and I'd really like to avoid violence if I could." Her voice dropped in volume a few levels. "Who knows what you'd think of me then..."

"Eev..." Eevee's ears twitched as it caught that last sentence. _Hey, don't get all depressed on me._ _Just because you're afraid of misusing your powers doesn't mean you can't... huh...?_

The Pokémon paused, distracted by the moon's brightness. As it sat and regarded it, Eevee thought about just how much the situation required it to adapt... and in turn, it brought to mind what it knew of its species. _The moon... one of our evolutions has something to do with the moon. Mama and papa were never clear about what, exactly... Pokémon know more about evolution than the humans ever will, but I for one don't know __**enough.**_ _Still, the moon is out and casting its glory down on us. There has to be something else that triggers an evolution in conjunction with it..._

It looked up at Udonge, considering what she had just told it about her abilities. The somewhat-human had her head turned away, staring at nothing in particular. _Wave manipulation? I wonder if she just might be able to help me after all..._

Deciding to test its hypothesis and hoping that Udonge wouldn't hold the pain against it, Eevee gave the girl's hand a sharp nip.

/-/-/-/

"YII-!"

Reisen jerked her hand away, immediately turning to face the little creature. "Ow! Hey, what gives? You didn't have to bite me!" she protested, grabbing it and holding it in a way that it couldn't bite her again. "Why did you - - -... ...oh. Oh, _dear."_

Too late, Reisen noticed that her companion had looked up at her as soon as she'd started to complain; its brown eyes had locked on to the moon rabbit's bright red eyes. She paled as she felt the creature's brain waves twist a little and watched its eyes squeeze shut; she realized that she had unleashed the moon's power on it without meaning to. _This is not going to turn..._

_...out..._

Something clicked. The animal's eyes opened, staring confidently into Reisen's own and making her forget her fears...

_...well?_

"Eeeee..._**VEEEEEEEEEEE!"**_

"WHA?!" Reisen yelped, almost dropping the creature as it became aglow with energy and light. Streamers of power encircled it protectively, casting their illumination on the bamboo and Eientei's exterior. The energies didn't seem to be hurting her, passing through her harmlessly; most likely they were just cosmetic in nature. From somewhere up above, a quiet "Whoa" could be heard from Tewi; she had to have been watching from the roof the entire time.

As Reisen shut one eye and struggled to discern anything at all through the other, she felt the animal begin to change shape. About twenty kilos were added to its weight. A vague outline that she had figured to be its mane disappeared. Its legs lengthened. Its tail narrowed, then followed suit. Its head and neck readjusted itself... and with a loud _whoosh_, the energies faded and disappeared, leaving an awe-filled Reisen to examine what she was now holding.

Fur as black as midnight, broken only by yellow rings on its forehead, ears, tail and legs. _The overall shape, those brilliantly red irises... if I didn't know better, I'd say I was looking at a fellow lunar rabbit! What happened? Did my ability cause it to transform somehow?_ she wondered, not knowing that she was the first of Gensokyo's residents to witness a Pokémon's evolution. She was also unaware that what had happened was an unorthodox method of triggering said evolution, but no one was there to tell her that.

The "rabbit" twisted a bit in Reisen's grasp, licking the bite mark on her hand in an attempt to soothe the pain. It then gazed up into her eyes, feeling no fear at all from that visage, and mewled what had to have been a question. "Umbreon?"

"I'm... alright," Reisen told it reassuringly. She gently placed the creature down next to her, scratching it between the ears. "I'm just surprised that things turned out like this... How did you do that? What are you, really?" She shook her head and smiled. "Don't know _how_ I'm going to get any sleep tonight, thinking about all this..."

The rabbit-like animal solved that problem for her by yawning another one of those bubbles right in its face. Intense drowsiness overwhelmed Reisen, like Kaguya before her; she fell onto her back, out like a light, and commenced snoring. Unheard by her was the giggling from the roof, where Tewi found this funny and made little effort to hide it.

...

Umbreon settled down next to Udonge, disregarding the laughter it was hearing; if whoever was doing that was threatening, it would've known by now. And it wasn't eager to fight anything, not with an injured leg.

Looking down at the girl's sleeping face, the Pokémon evaluated her and considered the qualities she'd shown since they'd first met. _The victim of many jokes, but trusted to handle important tasks. ...Anti-social by her own admission, but doesn't go out of her way to bother others of her kind. ...And even if she was under orders, she was willing to keep her powers under wraps to protect me. She's not the kind who would abuse others, and she seems very down to earth._

_But at the same time, she doesn't know what a Pokémon is or what the connection is between us and humans. Can I really count on her to strengthen me, to help me battle against friends and foes alike? ...Am I going to regret staying here when the possibility of me being the only one of my kind here is a strong one?_

_...Guess I'll have to find out the hard way._

Permitting itself to rest, Umbreon closed its eyes and let the constant background noise lull it to sleep. It would regret it in the morning, when it would find out that Tewi had put a fake mustache and beard on it while it was unaware, but for now there was only peace.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Mismagius's moveset: Spite, Psychic, Magical Leaf, Astonish

Approximate Level: 2

**Marisa's Notes:** SUPER annoying. Bad enough that I had to ask Patchouli for help in separating us- - -no arms, and all that- - -but this ghost hat's following me everywhere. If I wanted a pet I should've asked for a cat, ze! At least it's not getting in the way of my work anymore, but the sooner it leaves, the better.

Umbreon's moveset: Yawn, Quick Attack, Faint Attack, Growl

Approximate Level: 21

**Reisen's Notes:** And so Eientei has gotten a new resident. Eirin was surprised in the morning to find out that the creature gained its adult form via my eyes... maybe intentionally, maybe not. We know that it's female, but nothing else is forthcoming. Until we _do_ learn more, we're just going to call her "Swift" and be done with it.


	3. Reimu, Chen, Flandre

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

**Chapter Three**

By: Curtis Wildcat

Pokémon and the Touhou Project are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders.

Spot the _Space Ghost Coast To Coast_ shout-out in this chapter and have yourself some barbecued shrimp.

The chapters keep getting bigger. I hadn't anticipated this. Huh... anyway, I was in a bit of a rush to finish this today; I've kept you guys waiting long enough. If I see anything that needs fixed, particularly towards the end, I'll take care of it during the next update.

/-/-/-/

"...So, that's pretty much the entire story, Reimu."

"Huh... well, it explains what I've heard from Marisa and Remilia, at any rate... they've been seeing similar creatures popping up here and there."

Reimu leaned back, staring up at the clear skies over the shrine. A short time past Ran had paid her an unexpected visit, with Chen and a strange cat youkai in tow. Over tea, the kitsune told her how they had discovered the cat, Yukari's belief that it was not native to this world, and the overseer's subsequent decision to travel and investigate the matter personally. Until further notice, she was told, life would continue on as normal; neither the cat nor the other animals that had been discussed over the grapevine bothered anyone outside of self-defense.

Ignoring the playful cries of Chen and the cat as they pursued each other around the shrine grounds, Reimu allowed her thoughts to drift. Genji had decided to sit in on the conversation, and was even willing to have some tea for himself; the shrine maiden had placed a cup- - -originally reserved for Marisa, who hadn't shown up at all- - -before him, then had dismissed him out of her mind up until now. If he wanted to stick around and listen, that was fine with her; but if he wasn't going to contribute anything to their discussion, she intended to ignore him.

For a moment, though, she wondered how life had been treating Genji since they had last met. At some point between the battle against Shinki and the Scarlet Mist incident, Reimu had finally mastered flight; since she was no longer in need of his services, Genji had elected to retire and spend his days at a small lake near the shrine until such a time that Reimu appointed a successor for the Hakurei line. She had not heard from him since, and she'd assumed that old age had finally claimed him. Apparently it hadn't.

Ran watched her shikigami at play for a little while. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, looking as if she wanted to say something but wasn't quite sure _how_ to say it. Finally the kitsune gave up and turned to Reimu. "Excuse me, but..."

"Yeah, Ran?"

"What's that turtle doing sitting next to you?"

Reimu waved off her curiosity. "That's just Genji. I told you and Yukari about him before, remember?"

"Yes... your means of transportation before you learned to fly." Ran raised a finger, tapping her chin with it. "But I was under the impression that Genji was an old bearded turtle..."

"..." Reimu froze. "You're saying it's not Genji? Then... who was it I was giving tea to?"

Slowly, the shrine maiden turned to her left. Sitting there was a large blue turtle with two metal protusions sticking out of its shoulders. The turtle had the cup of tea clenched between its front feet, and was sipping from it. After a little bit of this, it set the tea down, turned towards Reimu and gave her a thumbs-up. "Blastoise."

Reimu shrieked in surprise and jumped to her feet, ofuda already in her hand. "...! What the...?! What are you, and what are you doing here?!"

Ran hung her head, shaking it slowly. "It has begun..."

/-/-/

Chen and the cat had reacted to the turtle's presence as well, but in different ways. On hearing Ran's exasparation, the shikigami had edged over to her master in case she had orders to give. _Better to be safe than sorry,_ she had decided.

The yellow-orange cat sensed Chen's distress and decided that he didn't want to disappoint his new friend. Deciding that none of the three looked qualified to give him orders as trainers, he assumed a battle-ready position and meowed: **/-You! Did you come here to disturb us?**-/

/-**I could ask the same of you, fancy-fur,**-/ Blastoise rumbled, setting aside the now-empty cup. The Pokémon was completely uncaring of both the cat's and the human's threatening postures. /-**You're the first one I've seen here since I was forcibly removed from my home. It is easy to think that you're the one disturbing **_**me.**_-/

/-**I didn't even know you were here until the red-white human discovered you!**-/ Delcatty growled, tail twitching. /-**Don't give me that garbage!**-/

"Translation: 'the innocent bystanders are completely confused, and we don't care'," the 'red-white human' complained. "Does anyone understand _what_ they're saying to each other?"

"I think the cat's upset at being bothered, and he's calling out the turtle on it," Chen mused. "I'm probably wrong... the dialect's kinda weird..."

Everything else that Delcatty's friend was saying was drowned out by Blastoise's reply. /-**I was behaving myself just fine; I'm not out to cause trouble. You'd do well not to overreact.**-/

/-**Overreact? OVERREACT?!**-/ Delcatty hissed, its flur fluffing up. /-**Get out here right now. I'll **_**show**_** you an overreaction!**-/

"..._Aaaaand_ he just challenged it to a fight," Chen explained, ears drooping.

"Not on my porch, its not," the human declared, brandishing an odd stick threateningly. "I've had this shrine repaired and rebuilt enough times already. If you're going to fight, do it _away_ from the building!"

Blastoise looked at the human out the corner of its eye. Delcatty could see the gears turning in the Pokémon's head as it determined what to say; Miss Red-White didn't look really threatening at all, even with the stick, so to it obeying the threat was optional. Therefore, he wasn't surprised when Blastoise withdrew its limbs and head into its shell and stayed put.

A vein above the human's eye pulsed. "I said _off!"_ she yelled, walking over and delivering a swift kick to the back of Blastoise's shell. Delcatty flinched, expecting her to cry out in pain, but did a double-take when Blastoise was obligingly booted out onto the grass; the abrupt ejection from the porch had startled the turtle Pokémon too, if the off-put grumbling was any sort of proof.

"...Reimu, that may not have been a wise thing to do," Ran informed her, sweatdropping. "If it wasn't hostile before, it will be now."

"Did _you_ have any suggestions on how to deal with an intrusive tea-drinking turtle?"

"Well, no..."

"Didn't think so."

Delcatty overcame his surprise as Blastoise righted itself and pushed itself back up onto its feet. /-**Troublesome human...**-/ it groused. /-**Does **_**anyone**_** know what 'respect your elders' means around here?**-/

/-**More like common sense is in short supply in these parts,**-/ Delcatty suggested, ignoring Chen's indignant exclamation. /-**But since you're over here now, can we just fight? I made that big show of anger a minute ago, and I want to have something to show for it.**-/

/-**Tch...**-/ Blastoise reluctantly aimed its cannons at Delcatty. /-**Fine. I have a long day of relaxation to get back to, so let's be quick about it.**-/

"Yeah! Go for it, Creampuff!" Chen cheered, one hand in the air. "You can do it! Go get 'em!"

"...Creampuff...?" Ran mouthed inaudibly, her lips twitching upwards.

Reimu's left eyebrow disappeared into her hair. "Creampuff?"

/-**...Creampuff?**-/ Delcatty asked out of pure confusion.

/-**Creeeeeampuff,**-/ Blastoise uttered, partially confirming the term but also expressing its own minor disbelief.

Chen frowned when everyone's eyes directed themselves towards her. "...What? It's a cute name. I like it."

The newly-christened Creampuff sighed, bracing himself for battle. /-**Chen, you've got a lot to learn. C'mon, Blastoise; lets show them how we do things back home.**-/

/-**Agreed.**-/

/-/-/

Blastoise kicked things off with a bang, two high-pressure water jets bursting from its cannons. The things weren't big on accuracy, though, and Creampuff was able to twist himself out of their way in time. Deciding to give the turtle a taste of its own technique, the cat glowed with a soft light... and spat out a watery beam of his own. Blastoise quickly withdrew into its shell, though, and effectively nullified the ersatz Hydro Pump via type resistance and just flat-out being strong defensively.

Chen ducked behind Ran's tails as some of the water splashed too close for her liking. "Hey, be careful with that!" she warned.

/-**Sorry!**-/ Creampuff meowed, occupied with dodging another shot of Blastoise's favored attack. In retaliation, he opened his mouth and fired a crackling whitish-blue beam at one of his opponent's cannons. A misshapen lump of ice formed around it, freezing it solid.

"Huh..." Reimu was watching closely, interested despite herself. "Not a bad strategy. Keep it from firing, and it becomes a matter of tiring it out."

"Water and ice attacks from a cat, of all things..." Ran mused. She reached behind her and gave Chen's head a playful pat. "Have you been holding out on us, Chen?"

"I hate water," Chen growled cutely, pouting. "You know that, Ran-sama."

Before Ran could tell her that she was just teasing her a little, a battle cry from Creampuff directed their attention back to the duel. A ring of green projectiles-danmaku, probably-had begun encircling the Pokémon; once they were fully formed, Creampuff launched them at Blastoise's head and upper body. The bullets exploded on impact, making Blastoise stumble backwards several steps as it took the first real damage of the fight (the Copycatted Hydro Pump notwithstanding).

To Creampuff's disappointment, it wasn't enough to make Blastoise fall. The turtle remained upright, that ever-present smirk still in place. It spoke again, and to the human(oid) observers it sounded like nothing more than bits and pieces of the same word.

As it did prior to the fight, the language barrier was visibly annoying Reimu. "Chen, do you understand it by some chance?"

"No. I don't speak 'turtle'."

/-**Blastoise was asking me if I had anything harder to hit him with,**-/ Creampuff growled, teeth bared. /-**I do, but without my trainer here it has little to no power.**/-

Chen's ears pricked up. "Trainer?" she asked curiously.

/-**Yes.**-/

"Someone owns this cat?" Reimu wanted to know.

/-**No,**-/ Creampuff hissed. /-**Not 'own'. No one owns me. My human and I are partners on a never-ending quest to become as strong as we can be, to surpass everyone else and stand at the top of the heap. We travel and compete, battling against or assisting others of our kind, like Blastoise here.**-/

Chen provided the translation to Ran and Reimu; the latter of the two calmed down some. "Blastoise, huh? So that's what it is called... is it safe to assume that it's working with a human, too?"

Blastoise spoke again, resulting in another Creampuff-to-Chen translation. **/-He says, quote, "My trainer was an ignorant fool. I couldn't work with him before, and I don't work with humans now", unquote.**-/

"..." Reimu was silent, trying to determine the meaning behind those words.

/-**Chen, I have a favor to ask of you. From one cat to another.**-/

"...A favor?"

/-**My trainer is not here, and I don't know if I will ever see her again. I beg of you: please help me to become stronger in her stead. Command me, and help me to attain victory!**-/

"...!" Chen's speech patterns momentarily abandoned her. "Wha wha wha _what?!_ How... wha... but... wha... _how?!_ I... I don't know what you call those things you were doing, those pretty looking attacks!" she protested. "I used to be a housecat myself; I'm good at ignoring orders, not giving them!"

Ran had a hand over her mouth, but that wasn't enough to suppress her amused chuckles. "I'd say give it a go, Chen. You've got nothing to lose by trying."

The nekomata turned to her, still in a state of surprise. "But... Ran-sama...!"

"Look at it this way," said Ran, smiling encouragingly. "You get to have that cat shikigami that you always wanted."

For a few moments Chen thought back to the time when she tried to gather a group of cats together under her leadership, something which was ultimately unsuccessful. Unless you knew how to work with them, cats were notorious for disregarding suggestions and commands; they weren't miniature dogs that could be trained on a whim. "But..."

"_Blaaasssss-_toise."

Chen's ears flattened, and the fur on her twin tails fluffed up. There was something in the turtle's voice that she just _knew_ was taunting her. "What... did it say?" she asked, her voice carrying just enough venom to make Reimu wary of her.

Her feline friend provided the translation, his own ears horizontal. /-**Creeaaaaampuff.**-/

The noise that Chen made in reply was a half-yowl, half-screech that made Creampuff's spine arch reflexively. Ran and Reimu both recognized it for what it was: the nekomata was _furious._ It took a few moments before she was able to keep her words calm. "Fine. I will work with you if you'll have me. Just... be patient with me."

The smile on Creampuff's face was beyond words. /-**Glad to have you, partner. Let's be quick about it; this is going to happen awful fast.**-/

"This won't take long," Chen growled, although a smile too was in the midst of forming. She stepped out from behind Ran. "Ice 'em."

Understanding the intention, Creampuff let fly with another icy blast. Blastoise had more than enough prep time to counter this attack, its body shimmering behind the translucent shield that it raised. The beam struck the shield and bounced off, heading straight back to its sender...

"Creampuff, watch out!"

The Delcatty jumped away at an angle, dodging its own attack and leaving it to freeze over a meter-wide patch of grass. Reimu fumed silently at this, knowing that somehow _she'd_ be the one responsible for cleanup work, but the battle continued regardless of her feelings.

Blastoise got down on all fours, positioning itself as if it were getting ready to run a race. /-**Chen?**-/ Creampuff called. /-**That attack I mentioned? It should go a long ways towards beating him, but I'll need your OK to do it!**-/

"You'd better talk to me about this later, okay? Go for it!"

/-**That's all I needed to hear!**-/

Creampuff took off full tilt at Blastoise, shining yellow like the sun. Its newfound loyalty towards Chen resonated through every cell, filling it with strength. At this moment the turtle Pokémon _launched_ itself forward, startling the onlookers, and practically flew towards Creampuff head-on-

**BOOM.**

Blastoise's Skull Bash greeted Creampuff's Return explosively, exchanging high-fives with it and trying to bypass it to get at the buffet; the air was displaced at the impact point from the force. For all that Blastoise was larger and stronger than the cat, though, the strength of their attacks was equal; neither of them made any headway in finishing what they started. Creampuff jumped away sideways after the Return wore off; he landed with his back to Chen and waited for the catlike person to issue another order...

And only then did he realize that the collision had broken the ice around Blastoise's cannon. His ears drooped and his eyes widened. **/-Aw, crud-/**

Nothing further was said. A titanic volume of water billowed forth from Blastoise's cannons, slamming into the distressed Creampuff and bodily throwing it backwards... straight at a panicking Chen. Pokémon and nekomata gave way to the aquatic force, getting washed against the trees that bordered the shrine grounds; Ran had taken to the air to avoid becoming an accidental target.

The flow of water stopped, and the turtle Pokémon stared disappointedly at the drenched duo. "_Blaaasssss-_toise," it grumbled again, turning and trudging off to rejoin Reimu on the porch.

/-**Owww,**-/ Creampuff groaned, its will to fight on completely sapped. It slid down the tree it had been embedded in, slumping onto the ground. /-**Chen, are you okay?**-/

Chen's shikigami connection with Ran had been broken via exposure to water, and she was a bit loopy anyhow; as such, a dazed "Meowwww" was the only reply he received.

"Oh dear, oh dear..." A worried Ran flew down to collect Chen's bedraggled form, paused a moment, then picked up Creampuff as well. "Reimu, I have to go and get her wits back in line. Talk to you more about this later?"

Reimu waved them off, preoccupied with her thoughts. Without another word, Ran departed the shrine grounds towards home.

/-/-/-/

In all honesty, Reimu was impressed with what she'd seen them do. It wasn't true danmaku, as the cat's bullets had been limited in number and could easily be evaded by anyone with half a mind. Still, the attacks were interesting. Blastoise's shield could be compared to what Reimu had seen Youmu do with her swords on several occasions, and Creampuff's freezing beam was a level up from most of Cirno's abilities (although according to Marisa, she'd been stepping up her game in recent years).

On the negative side, the attacks could still do physical harm if used improperly; that final attack of the turtle's showed as much, as did what Remilia had told her about the fiery rooster. She guessed that wherever these creatures were from, they needed to have trained doctors available to treat any wounded. If they really did have competitions like Creampuff said they did, it was the only thing that made sense from her point of view. The problem with this is that in Gensokyo, there wouldn't be anyone that knew how to treat these creatures or would want to (except Eirin, maybe), assuming that they were mistaken for unusual breeds of youkai.

Speaking of which, she didn't know what they were called as a collective, if they weren't youkai. She'd have to check into that when she felt like it. Yeah.

Reimu watched as the ice on the grass melted under the sunlight. _They showed me how things worked in their realm, and that's fine. But if they're going to be living here, their battle styles will have to change. We'll have to teach them how things work in Gensokyo, and see if they're game enough to adjust._

She looked to her left when her shoulder was nudged. Blastoise sat there, offering her the empty cup that it had been drinking out of. Offering it to her, or... "Maybe I ought to teach _you_ how to make tea," Reimu complained, but accepted the cup and walked off to check how much she had left.

_**-GAP-**_

Most of the day passed by quickly. Yukari could swear that she had spent most of an _hour_ just trying to wipe her face clean; fox Pokémon were just as susceptible to enthused greetings as the average canine, it seemed. _Ah, well... nice to know that it evolved._

To pass the time while they waited for Kevin's wife, Harmony, to return home, the homeowner gave her a whole slew of updates on what had taken place in Hoenn over the years. Leadership of the gym at Lavaridge had passed on to the newest generation. Technology had moved on ahead, surpassing what Yukari had seen of the Outside in some areas. The region's legendary monsters, Kyogre and Groudon, had been briefly awakened in the far east of Hoenn...

It was this last one that interested Yukari the most, and she conversed with Kevin at length on the subject. He didn't know much overall about it beyond the news reports that trickled into town, and the anecdotes of travellers from Mossdeep City and small towns who had seen the effects of their short battle. In the end it had been a group of courageous children and a visiting Elite Four member who calmed the Legendaries down, but the methods used and how they acted weren't part of Kevin's story.

During her first time in Hoenn, Yukari had read stories about great beasts that had altered the geography of the islands: Groudon, master of the land, and Kyogre, herald of the sea. Impressive and mighty, they were said to be, with powers and strength that-from what she could discern-were equatable to high-tier youkai...

Yukari's thoughts brought what was spoken of that foreign Elite Four trainer to her mind. _I didn't need the proof, necessarily, but that shows that there are other lands out there aside from Hoenn. It is likely that those lands have their share of legends as well, and the Pokémon that have their roles to play. It is best that I start by doing my research on them._.._ and who knows? Maybe this expedition won't take as long as I had feared._

_And it had better not... I don't want to succumb to my winter hibernation while these animals are overrunning Gensokyo. Reimu would never let me hear the end of it._

_**-GAP-**_

Harmony returned home some time later. Traces of a bright and cheerful personality were still evident, and while her ponytailed hair was gray, her face did not show the same signs of age. Yukari suspected that if she wanted to, all she'd need to do was dye her hair black and she'd have young men falling over themselves trying to impress her. That had, in fact, happened when Harmony was still reasonably young; out of all of them, she'd chosen the only one who could defeat her Sceptile in a Pokémon battle. She was still married to that man today.

To Yukari's relief, Harmony's reaction to her return was a bit more subdued than those of Ninetales and Kevin: she just gave her a beaming grin and left it at that. Despite just having returned from her job, she immediately went to work on providing a full-course meal for her guest and her husband. That gave Yukari enough time to organize her thoughts and determine how she wanted to phrase her explanation for her visit.

It was towards the end of dinner that she dropped the metaphorical bombshell on the couple.

_**-GAP-**_

"...Are you serious?"

"Very much so, Kevin."

"...That's hard to swallow, Yukari dear..."

"I should've offered it to you in smaller chunks then, Harmony."

Harmony's hands trembled as she tried to maintain her calm. "You're... not human?"

"I said as much, yes... this curry is excellent, by the way." Yukari cleared her throat. "And before you ask, I'm not a by-product of a ghost Pokémon's illusion, either. I can understand if you don't believe me..."

"Yukari, explain. _Now."_

The tone and expression from Harmony was so much like Reimu's that Yukari plucked her fan out from within her blouse's left sleeve, opening it before her mouth to hide her amusement. "What I am, dear, is a youkai."

"You...kai?" Kevin's eyebrow raised. "What are they supposed to be?"

_Either they have simply not heard of youkai, or there are none that exist in this world. Perhaps its my pride telling me this, but I'm assuming the former._ Yukari crossed her legs as she spoke, careful not to bother the Ninetales that still nestled near her. "The long and the short of it is that the majority of us are fantastic or unrealistic creatures that, for varying reasons, have humanoid forms." _And discovering our primary food source would make you hate me forever, but you don't need to know that._ "Usually the eye color would've given me away, but apparently they're in all colors of the rainbow around here."

"True," Kevin confirmed. "Lavaridge's gym leader has _red_ eyes. It's not an unusual thing."

"Anyway..." Yukari's fan wasn't large enough to hide her yawn. "Excuse me... along those lines, how familiar are you with the concept of magic?"

The couple actually bristled at this, faces becoming stern. "It's not an _unfamiliar_ concept, but we still don't like it," Harmony admitted. "We have a grandchild in Johto who claims to be a practicer of magic. She supposedly has the ability to change people into Pokémon, but we've never seen it for ourselves. Had we had our way, she would never have gotten involved in such a thing."

_Good enough._ "You just made it easier for me to explain, Harmony. Where I'm from, as technology progressed, belief in the unnatural started to fade in favor of the mundane. With the aid of a powerful young lady, I had a magnificent barrier erected to shelter those magic-based beings that still clung to life. This eastern wonderland, Gensokyo, a paradise that's dangerous for the unwary but beautiful for the fully prepared, I have guarded for over a century." _Granted that's only part of the truth, but it's not necessary to tell them the full story-_

"Wow," Kevin breathed. "And here I thought my mother-in-law was ancient."

Yukari pinched the bridge of her nose. "...Harmony, you're sitting over there. Could you kick him in the shins for me?"

Harmony didn't comply with her request, but shot Kevin a sour look. The man held up his hands defensively. "Hey, it's alright, it's alright. Just kidding."

"May I please continue?" Yukari sighed.

The couple settled down, allowing her to keep speaking. "Thank you. Anyway, the reason I came back here is because my homeland is in danger."

Harmony inhaled sharply, eyes widening.

Kevin frowned. "What kind of danger?"

"Pokémon, as you're aware, are more than just living beings over here: humanity's lives revolve around them. However, back home outside the barrier, they're little more than a franchise. Anime, video games, plush toys and T-shirts... they have never existed on Earth as flesh-and-blood creatures." Beat. "...Although I guess in a way, their lives still _do_ revolve around them. Just... not in the way you're used to."

This revelation had to have been harder to stomach for them than the statement that Yukari wasn't human. A world where Pokémon didn't exist, where they were basically one collective cash cow? Impossible! "And what does this have to do with the supposed danger that your home is in?" Harmony asked, shelving her disbelief for the moment.

Yukari's eyes narrowed. "I woke up this morning, and there was a Delcatty sitting on my chest."

...

It took a few minutes for Kevin and Ninetales to stop laughing.

_**-GAP-**_

_"Anyway, Harmony, I'm sure you can guess at the trouble. Pokémon are not supposed to exist back home; if more showed up, not only would it upset the status quo, it would make the lives of both us youkai and the resident humans very difficult... never mind what would happen if they began to appear outside the barrier. They just wouldn't be prepared for that sort of thing. And what if Pokémon as powerful as Kyogre or Groudon appeared there and went out of control? The damage to the environment and lives alike would not be worth the cost of keeping them there. If there's a way into Gensokyo, I need to find it. Find it, put any loose Pokémon back where they belong, and shut the door so that they can't get back in."_

_"Sounds like a difficult quest, if it's true... Is there anything we can do to help? I assume that's why you're here specifically."_

_"Actually, yes. Could you lend me Ninetales?"_

_"Ninetales? Why?"_

_"Because I- down, Ninetales, stop licking my arms! -Because my primary means of self-defense is non-existent here. If it comes down to power I could probably take something my size in a fight, but raw strength will do me little good if I face off against, say, a full-grown Tropius alone. If I have Ninetales backing me up- AGH! Ninetales, not the face, not the face!"_

_"Eh-hahahaha... I don't have any problems with it. She really likes you regardless... so, do you know where you want to begin looking?"_

_"Well, I know _what_ to look for, but not _where._ Are there any major libraries in Hoenn that I can do research at?"_

_"Hmm... several, but the biggest one is in Rustboro City, where the Pokémon Trainer's School is located. I strongly suggest that you travel to Littleroot Town first and get yourself registered as a trainer, though."_

_"How come? Would it really be that much more difficult to get things done?"_

_"Not 'difficult', really, just less expensive. If you have a license, you get a basic discount for any goods and services you may require. And the man who handles the registration is a professor himself; he should be able to point you in the right direction if your search doesn't pan out."_

_"...Thank you. Thank you very much, Harmony. I won't forget thiMMPH! Paws off the mouth, please! I still need to breathe!"_

_"...I knew distance made the heart grow fonder, but..."_

_"Not funny, Kevin!"_

...

And so the conversation went.

By the time dusk had descended upon the town, Yukari had more or less collapsed where she had sat. Quiet snores filled the room as she slept, and she gave no sign of reacting to anything. Ninetales had curled up near her, using her tails to keep the snoozing youkai warm. The scene was amusing enough that Harmony didn't want to disturb her by moving her to a futon.

Kevin had already gone to bed, leaving Harmony to regard Yukari silently. The conversation from earlier was still settling into her mind; she still had trouble believing that the physically younger woman was anything other than human. She had considered the possibility, however slim, that the woman had been lying about 'Gensokyo' and her status as a paranormal being.

After Yukari was able to settle Ninetales down, though, she was able to tell them about how she'd vanished the last time...

...

_"There are some youkai, such as myself, that choose to hibernate for long periods of time according to the season. In my case, due to... _personal_ circumstances, winter is my time to snooze. And while I sleep, I dream..._

_"In most cases, my dreams don't have any connection to each other. That winter fifteen years ago was unusual, for reasons I'm still not sure I can explain. I dreamed that I'd woken up inside the home of a happy couple, who doted on me, fed and sheltered me... me, a complete stranger. I dreamed of Pokémon, those wonderful creatures that lived everywhere I looked and tended more often than not to live in harmony with humanity... a far cry from the Gensokyo I knew at that time. I dreamed of a land whose beauty seemed to stretch for many miles, where even the populated areas flourished. ...I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, since I've always been fiercely proud of my home, but I recall thinking that if it was a dream, I wished it would never end. You two had been my first genuine human friends in centuries, and for that I was grateful to you._

_"I remember going on a trip later in the season to the hot springs at Lavaridge, where I encountered Vulpix. I'd startled it, and it shot me with a Will O Wisp out of reflex. My special ability, the manipulation of borders, normally would've allowed me to recover from such an injury extremely quickly. Since I couldn't access it, I needed to have my left shoulder and the side of my face treated for burns. Vulpix was very distressed at what it had done, and clung close to me in case I needed anything; it even went so far as to follow us back here, and it wouldn't let me out of its sight. It was touching, very much so, and I came to see it as a smart and dependable companion._

_"The urge to awaken was too great, sadly. The two of you had been out working, while I was housebound trying to teach Vulpix the Energy Ball technique. Everything became a blur, and I could hear my servant quietly calling my name. Before I knew it, I was back in my bed in Gensokyo, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I'd thought of my experience as one long dream, and at first I didn't think anything of it... and then my servant asked me why my shoulder and face were such a mess. I got up and hurried to the nearest mirror, and I saw the halfway healed injuries from the Will O Wisp. The memories, everything I'd seen, heard and felt... all of them had been real._

_"It was the first time since my best friend had died ages ago that I gave in to the urge to cry."_

...

Kevin and Harmony had said nothing to that, letting Yukari think about the experiences she'd had in Hoenn. Ninetales had regarded the woman's melancholy expression at length, finally breaking it by reaching up and taking hold of the woman's hat with her teeth. The resulting chase was short and energetic, and it had gotten some chuckles out of the Laydens, but it had been enough to rouse Yukari out of her funk.

Now, looking down at her sleeping form, Harmony gave the matter some further thought. Certainly her claims of being a "youkai", a strange term at that, were hard to swallow like she had said. Yukari's statement that magic was part of life in Genokyo didn't sit well with her either. _However, aren't Pokémon in themselves magical in their own ways? Their strengths and weaknesses, what we've done for them, what they've done for us... this co-existence may not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but it's not to be looked down upon. And if it's powerful enough to affect the emotions of this inhuman woman..._

"...Mi...mi..."

One had to be paying attention to see it, but Yukari's eyes had opened a sliver. They didn't focus on anything at all, but one hand slowly reached up to pat Ninetales' head. "Mi...Midori..." she whispered, eyes closing again and signalling her safe return to Dreamland. Her hand slid back down to the floor as the snores resumed.

Harmony's smile was broad. Turning away, she left the room to begin her own preparations for sleep, feeling as happy as she did at the initial reunion. _Well, give me a coupon and declare a sale; I think I actually buy her explanation!_

/-/-/-/

Utilizing one's full power to open a portal across universes, then trekking for five hours on foot... Gensokyo's overseer could be forgiven for sleeping clear through breakfast and down through the rest of the morning.

Yukari woke up at noontime the next day, and found that the Laydens were out working at their respective jobs. They had been thoughtful enough to fill Harmony's old backpack with some supplies she'd need to make her trip, along with some spending money and food for Ninetales and herself. Included in the supplies was Ninetales' Poké Ball, and a message: **"Do your best."**

She could not help but send a reply back to them, she knew. Quickly tracking down a sheet of paper and a pen, she spent the better part of ten minutes composing her reply. When Yukari left with Ninetales alongside her, the letter placed where the backpack had been, she felt as if her heart weighed just a little bit less.

**"Dear Kevin and Harmony,**

**"By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. I all but told you that I was a monster in human form, but you still found it in your hearts to do all of this for me. I do not have many friends for reasons I can only describe as mean-spirited and calculating, so it feels wonderful to have experienced your kindness.**

**"I cannot promise that I will return. What I **_**can**_** promise is that I will do everything in my power to keep Gensokyo safe from harm. If I succeed in getting to the bottom of this mystery, I suspect it'll be all over the television networks soon enough. Still, I'll be sending periodic letters to keep you informed of my progress.**

**"It was an honor to have met you. Continue to live well and be healthy, and who knows? Our paths might very well cross again. **

**"All the best,**

**Yukari Yakumo**

**The Border of Phantasm**

**P.S. I have decided to call Ninetales 'Midori' from now on. The name makes sense in context, trust me."**

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

During her lifetime, Remilia Scarlet was not one to let teams of hunters discourage her from being a borderline socialite. Through hook or by crook, she refused to let the stigma of her race or her weakness to sunlight keep her from dying of boredom; she liked to be _entertained._ Once a month, or once every two months at the most, she would sneak out and see if there was anything new in the world (this had the added effect of throwing prospective hunters far off her trail). This practice stopped after her home was transferred to Gensokyo; she couldn't see the sights if the sights were out of reach.

Using the Mansion as a base of operations over the centuries, she had seen history go by. When she was still very young, she had listened to a story about the Notre Dame cathedral's mysterious bell ringer. She had been present at several of Beethoven's performances, toured long-abandoned and forgotten castles, seen much of Europe during its good times and bad...

On one occasion during Napoleon's reign, Remilia had hidden herself in the background while a distinguished officer sang a song at a dinner party. The song had been catchy enough that even weeks later, long after she had returned home, she had caught herself singing it while walking about the Mansion's halls. She had counted herself fortunate that only the most trusted members of her staff at the time had heard her going on in that fashion.

What she hadn't counted on was that Flandre had overheard her singing as well, and the younger sister had found the tune very funny. Having little in the way of personal entertainment, she took whatever she heard to heart; butchering lyrics was fun in itself, after all.

/-/-/

And so it was about two centuries later that Flandre was engaged in one of her favorite pasttimes, dancing about the dungeon-turned-bedroom and singing whatever came to mind. A new toy had arrived in her room: a steel-covered bird as big as Sakuya, presently perched atop her canopy bed; she didn't know how it got there, but she suspected that Sakuya had snuck it in here with her time manipulation trick. Secretly she dreaded the day when the toy would meet the fate of the many others she'd had before; it was rare when one of them would last more than a week, when she would inevitably forget her own colossal power and accidentally trigger her ability.

But for now she laughed, sang and danced.

**(BGM: Danny Kaye - Gypsy Drinking Song)**

_"~Fluttering here and there and to and fro with too much bright energy, with a flap-flap-flap and a tap-tap-tap who seeks to upstage Remi, flies the sister! The sister! The siiii-iiii-yii-yii-yiister, the si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-sister...!~"_

Atop the canopy the bird watched her every movement, its features locked in a perpetual grimace. As she gave her performance, it slowly occurred to Flandre that the bird was not a toy, but a living being. With every lyric she recited, its disgust became increasingly evident.

And she did not like the fierce look it was giving her. Come on! She had two centuries to work on those lyrics! Her performance should've been flawless by now!

"_~...in her hands... there is nowhere to stand... and this is what they are sayiinngg... ...'Yum... yum...'~"_ ...with a little whine at the end just to make herself sound cute.

The bird ruffled its metallic feathers, unimpressed. Flandre's anger burned, and she decided to bring a premature end to the song as only she knew how.

_"~Sing, Flandre swing, Flandre fly, Flandre dance, Flandre leave, Flandre maul, Flandre eat, Flandre drink...~_" A menacing stare as an eye-shaped aura formed in her hand. "_~Flan-dre... drink to hellos and drink to good-byes, drink to the lows and drink to the highs...~_" Her expression softened. "_~Drink to this life so it all goes, and I will drink with my eyes...~"_ ...And then a sharp turn to the extremely deadly. _**"~...and so we drink!~"**_

Her hand tightened around the eye-

...

Nothing. The room was dead silent.

Flandre glared first at the eye, then up at the bird. The steel toy stared back at her curiously, yet unflinchingly. "I _saiiiddd,_ 'and so we drink'!" she shouted, squeezing her hand as tightly as she could-

But she was rewarded not with an explosion of atoms, but a sensation like that of unyielding iron against a human hand. She blinked, mouth open a centimeter in surprise. The oddity of something withstanding her ability was so unfamiliar that she paused, thinking this over...

_"Skarrrr!"_

An angry call caught Flandre's attention before she could ponder things for too long, and she met the bird's gaze eye to eye. She wondered for a second why it was mad. It wasn't that bright; it couldn't have figured out what she was doing, could it-?

The bird flapped its wings furiously, kicking up a fierce gust of wind. Flandre was lifted off her feet and thrown against the nearest wall with a _thunk_, grunting with the impact; the 'eye' she was holding disappeared. _Okay; maybe it _does_ know._ She slid down to the floor, but quickly stood upright; the attack wouldn't have been enough to injure Meiling, let alone one of the Scarlet sisters-

A _whoosh_ of air, and the bird had lifted off of the canopy and flown right into her face, hovering just a few inches away. Flandre smiled nervously, not sure what game she wanted to play. "But first we dance?" she offered tentatively.

The pecking order that was instituted immediately showed Flandre what her would-be plaything thought of that idea.

/-/-/-/

_Crash!_

Sakuya and Remilia looked up from the dining room table, the latter with a fork halfway to her mouth. The two looked at each other with puzzled expressions before the head maid decided to see what the matter was.

"Let me try that again..." a childish voice murmured from outside the room.

Before Sakuya could reach the door, one of the Mansion's fairy maids threw it open and entered. She frowned, recognizing this particular staffer: short brown hair, grass-green uniform, twig-like wings, a dandelion-shaped hair decoration behind her maid's headdress, and an intelligence quotient that made the rest of the staff look like geniuses; she also had a bruise on her forehead where she had collided with the door. Sighing, Sakuya asked: "How many times do we have to tell you? You open the door, _then_ charge through it."

"It's okay, scary lady, it's okay," the fairy said, brushing that aside and beaming up at her. "Hey, did you know that the funny sister has a new pet bird?"

"What sort of nonsense are you going on about over there?" Remilia asked between bites. "We can't give Flandre any pets."

"Really? Hrmmm..." The fairy tapped her lip with a finger, thinking hard. Sakuya was getting ready to tell her that there was steam coming out of her ears when she finally spoke up: "Does the bird know about that? Someone should tell it."

A sigh from Remilia. "Sakuya, go and find out what she's talking about. D.F., attend to me."

Sakuya bowed. "As you wish, my lady," she said before freezing time and exiting the dining room.

D.F. tried to mimic the bow, but smacked her face against the edge of the door instead. "Ow! Hey, who put this wall here?" she complained. "That's not polite!"

Remilia silently regretted the day that she decided to round out the staff.

/-/

_"SAKUYAAAA! BIG SISTER! SOMEBODY HELLLPPP!"_

This was the yell that Sakuya heard as soon as she released her grip on time, standing before the dungeon/bedchamber door. Although she hid it well, it immediately made her nervous. _Even when the shrine maiden and the thief surpassed her in their respective duels, Flandre never became afraid. What is in there that would make her fearful enough to cry for assistance?_

Sakuya shook her head, gathering her courage. _For my lady. For the Scarlet family,_ she told herself, undoing the magic locks on the door one by one. Passing through the door, she went down the staircase beyond and into the bedroom proper to see what was amiss...

For the second time in as many days, Sakuya witnessed a bizarre situation. Flandre was half-running, half-flying around the room, hands behind her head as she tried to protect it from her pursuer. Chasing her was a steel-armored avian, gleaming in the room's candlelight; between enraged caws, it would try to poke Flandre with its beak whenever it got close enough. Although it hadn't registered with either of the two that the pecking would not do her any serious harm, though...

Sakuya pinched the bridge of her nose. _First the martial arts rooster, and now a kite in sour armor. _"Birds... just _what_ is your problem, birds?" she mumbled to no one in particular, drawing several knives from their sheathes. Shutting down time again, she carefully placed the knives so that their trajectory would cut across the path between the pursuer and the pursued, then released her grip on chronology-

The bird halted itself the best it could, surprised, as the knives flew across its vision. Flandre was agreeable to this, taking this chance to dive beneath the bed. "Sakuyaaaaa!" she cried. "Where did you get that steely thing? It's so mean!"

"I had nothing to do with it." Sakuya retrieved her weapons, watching the bird all the while. It was staring at her, shrouded in an aura of indignance at having its chase interrupted. "Same with your sister. You know that we can't give you any pets, young mistress."

"But you had to have _something_ to do with it!" Flandre insisted. "Animals don't just appear out of thin air! Especially ones that don't break!"

"...What."

"Huh? What is it, Sakuya?"

"...Could you run that by me again, young mistress? That last part you said?"

"Oh, right." Flandre's hand reached out from under the bed, a familiar eye in its palm. She tightened her hand as much as she could, and Sakuya reflexively braced herself... only for life to laugh and go about its business. "It won't break. The bird won't break-AHHH!" she shrieked, quickly dispersing the eye and retracting her hand when the bird tried to peck at it again.

"You shouldn't be trying to break living things, anyway," Sakuya said, keeping the surprise out of her voice. _Immune to the little sister's power? What manner of creature is this?_ "Young mistress, do you think you can get it to chase you again?"

"What do you think it's _been_ doing?" Flandre asked a trifle bitingly, her fangs visible.

"Do you have any objections to leading it towards the library?" Sakuya inquired, not letting herself be drawn into an argument. "This is the sort of thing that Lady Patchouli needs to know about."

"But I don't want it to peck my neck again!" the younger Scarlet complained. "Those kisses hurt!"

"_Please,_ young mistress?" Sakuya inquired sweetly, a bit of the steel that formed her public persona entering her voice. "It won't hurt you if you stay ahead of it."

"... ...Oh, okay," Flandre reluctantly said, pouting. Cautiously keeping an eye on the bird, she crawled out from under the bed and tried to edge past-

_"SKARRRR!"_

And with a flap of its wings and Flandre's panicked yell, the chase was on again. This time, she had the mind to lead it out the room's open door.

By the time the two of them had left, Sakuya was already gone.

/-/-/-/

"...Another one."

"Indeed, Lady Patchouli."

"First the kickboxer. Then the 'ghost hat', as Marisa called it. And now..." Patchouli gestured at where the bird was chasing Flandre around the library's main reading area. "...this. What in Gensokyo is wrong with this place?"

"It looks super shiny," Koakuma commented, placing several fresh books onto Patchouli's desk. "Are you sure it's wearing armor, Sakuya? It appears too natural to be man-made."

"Correct." Another gesture from the librarian as the bird flapped its wings. "See, right there? Even the feathers are tempered steel. You can't get that sort of workmanship from the average blacksmith. I'm curious as to how its able to stay aloft in that state."

"Shouldn't we worry more about how it's irritating the young mistress?" Sakuya asked, keeping her anxiousness to stop the intruder from surfacing.

"Why Flandre-sama, though?" Koakuma turned to them, arms folded. She paid the chase no mind even when it passed within a meter of her. "What did she do to get it angry at her?"

Sakuya frowned. "I assume she tried to attack it. She said in her own way that the bird is immune to her ability."

Patchouli had been reaching for one of the books when she stopped in mid-motion. Koakuma's mouth fell open. The two of them looked at each other for four seconds, then slowly rotated to face Sakuya again. In one of those rare moments where two people are fully in sync, they both spoke to the maid the thought that was on their minds.

_"What."_

Cue the sweatdrop. "That's what _I_ said."

"YAHHH! Back off! It's trying to kiss me againnnnn!"

"_SKARRRR!"_

The chase passed by about a meter away from Patchouli. Following Koakuma's lead, she ignored it. "In the past five centuries there has never arisen a material capable of surviving an experience with the younger sister. Only the most powerful magics can keep objects intact for casual day-to-day usage, lest we spend everything we have just replacing her wardrobe, and those spells are ineffective on living beings. How in the name of everything in _existence_ can this creature laugh off her strength? It makes _no_ sense at all."

"Ya got me there, ze."

"There has to be some special quality embued in the metal-excuse me, the bird itself. Something must be keyed specifically to thwart attacks beyond a certain level of strength, or else it would be flat-out impossible to stop. Come, Koakuma. I will require your assistance in ascertaining the secret behind this phenomenon. Marisa, stick around; I need someone I can bounce ideas off of. Sakuya, inform Remi that I must not be disturbed, then lock the doors and prepare to keep the bird away from Flandre."

"A-alright."

"Sure thing, Patchy."

"I shall tell her immediately, Lady Patchouli."

Everyone set off to carry out their tasks... then stopped. A bead of sweat rolled down Koakuma's temple. Patchouli, disbelieving, dropped the book she was holding. Sakuya's aura darkened a bit.

...And as one, the trio whirled around and yelled: **"MARISA! What in blazes are you doing here?!"**

Marisa sweatdropped, but grinned. Next to her, Mismagius was watching the armored bird apprehensively. "I came back here to drop off that potions book I borrowed, but it looks like you've got hairier problems on your hands. Need any shears, ze?"

"...You're returning a borrowed book," Patchouli intoned.

"Well, yeah. That book was what got me merged with the ghost hat over here, remember? I got what I wanted out of it, so I don't need it anymore." Marisa gestured at said 'ghost hat', then folded her arms. "Meiling was nice enough to let me in through the main entrance."

"...You actually entered through the front door," Sakuya said with quiet surprise.

"Yep."

"...And you volunteered to help us with our problems," Koakuma murmured, awed.

"Yeah. So?"

Patchouli was silent for a few moments before turning to her assistant. "If anything should happen to me in the next ten minutes, Koakuma, you will find my copy of _Gone With the Wind_ hidden behind my bed."

"And I shall see to it that Meiling inherits my cutlery," Sakuya added in all seriousness.

"I love everyone," Koakuma whined, teary-eyed. "I denounce every prank I ever played in my life!"

Marisa scratched the back of her head, looking put off. "Hey, now..."

/-/-/-/

Flandre had lost track of time while the chase was in session. All of her efforts to dodge the angry metal kite had proven useless up to now; the thing was as fast as she was, and any attempts to evade it through flight were ended by one of its wide-area whirlwinds. She had considered using danmaku and Spell Cards, but aside from her not knowing if _those_ would effect it, she hadn't forgotten the last time she used Laevatein in the library. The nightmares she'd gotten from witnessing Patchouli's fury had lasted for a week.

Something zoomed past her, then turned in her direction. Flandre's face brightened. _Marisa! Sakuya!_

A hatlike being flew in towards the bird from the side, fiercely tapped it with its shadowy aura, then shot straight upwards. The tap was too weak to harm the bird, but the suddenness of the attack made it flinch. When Flandre saw that her rescuers had Spell Cards in their hands, she hit the ground and stayed there.

_"Star Sign: Meteonic Shower!"_

_"Lightspeed: C. Ricochet!"_

"...Skar?"

The spell card system's signature magic circles materialized beneath the four of them. Marisa struck first, and the steely bird was peppered with a barrage of weak stars; some of them deliberately missed their mark, serving to keep the target caged in. The bird had no time to react and no way to see where Sakuya's favored weapons were bouncing around. Sure enough, once the Meteonic Shower wore off, the last of the thrown knives had bounced off a bookshelf and was zeroing in on its target... and once it hit, they _all_ hit; purple streaks of light, each one a knife-shaped energy bullet, struck home one after another.

The shock of being hammered by so many attacks in such a short amount of time was too much for the poor thing's senses. Despite the magic circle having some power left and there being no way to suffer any actual harm, the creature's brain was telling it that there was no energy left to give. With a muffled crash, the bird dropped out of the air, hit the ground bellyfirst and remained still.

As Flandre sat up, Marisa turned to Sakuya. "Alright, raise one hand up."

"Huh?"

"Raise your hand up." Marisa demonstrated for her. "Like this."

"Anyyyy... particular reason why?"

Marisa gave her a weird look. "What, you've never been congratulated before? You need to get out more."

Sakuya smiled, ignoring Koakuma's approach. "Oh-ho? That's a funny thing for you to say."

"Yeah. Shouldn't you be directing that to Miss Patchouli?" Flandre chimed in. "_She's_ the shut-in of the bunch."

"...Fine. I'll do it myself." Marisa raised her left hand into the air, then gleefully smacked it with the other. "Way to go, Marisa-chan! You rule! Ze-hahahahahaha!"

Sakuya wasn't quite sure what to make of her behavior, but she decided that it must not be terribly important. "Let's just get this thing back to the others, shall we? We've got work to do."

Marisa complied, cackling. With Koakuma's assistance, the downed bird was transferred back to Patchouli's desk via a wooden cart.

Flandre joined Sakuya as she followed them, wanting to cheer her up. "That's okay. I think you did a very fine job too."

"Thank you, young mistress, but I would ask you to change the subject if the tengu ever shows up and asks about any of this."

The younger Scarlet shrugged noncommitally and trotted off ahead, muttering about not having a Flandre song without a Flandre chorus. Sakuya rolled her eyes and sighed quietly, thankful that no one knew what the Mansion's residents were really like outside the public eye.

/-/-/-/

Remilia and her attendant fairy maid joined the group in the library a short time later, the former having just wrapped up her meal. D.F. kept herself occupied by being useless, gawking at the library's expanse, so Remilia waved her off and left her alone.

The intrusive bird, whom Mismagius had referred to as a "Skarmory"-whatever that meant-was seated on the cart next to Patchouli's desk, looking grumpy for good reason: a set of magical chains were keeping it tied down. Koakuma was examining it from every angle and taking notes, while Patchouli extracted what information she could through scrying.

"Appeared right out of nowhere, huh?" Marisa was saying to Flandre. "You'd think that it was one of Sakuya's parlor acts..."

"That's what I thought, too. But..."

"I hadn't been down to Flandre's room since her previous meal," Sakuya informed the magician. "And as we've said a few times by now, she's not allowed to keep any pets. You know why."

Skarmory squawked something indignantly. _Oh, don't be that way,_ Mismagius cheerfully replied. _I'm sure they'll let you go if you're really nice about it._

Marisa idly tapped her broom's handle a few times. "What did he say, ghost hat?"

_He said that he's no one's pet._ Mismagius waited until Skarmory finished reading them all the riot act before continuing. _He's saying that he'd been eating fruit from his favorite tree when he was grabbed and thrown into this bright and colorful tunnel, that he didn't ask for any of this, and that he's mad at Rainbow Wings for her sudden attack._

Flandre stared at the ground, unwilling to meet Skarmory's glare.

"A bright and colorful tunnel... hey, didn't _you_ end up in a tunnel like that?" Marisa asked of Mismagius.

_Yeah, but I wasn't grabbed or anything like that. I was just curious about a hole in the wall, and there I went._

"...A Mismagius... a Skarmory... and of course that fire rooster from the other day," Remilia mused aloud. "I wonder what sort of connection they have..."

_That's an easy one,_ Mismagius replied, smiling pleasantly. _They're both Pokémon. Same as me!_

Everyone's eyes save Patchouli's were fixed on the ghost. "Pokémon?" they asked at once.

_Yep yep. Pokémon_,_ pocket monsters, whatever you want to call us._

"But you don't look like a monster," Flandre said, puzzled. "You look too cute for that."

Patchouli coughed something which might've been the words "pot", "kettle" and "black", but no one paid attention to her.

"Well, we have a name, at least." Koakuma wrote down the term for later research. "Now then, all of this still leaves the question of what we're going to do about Skarmory. That takes first priority, I think."

Skarmory rattled off some words for Mismagius to pass on to the others. _He says that so long as he's no one's pet and Rainbow Wings says she's sorry, do whatever. And he wants some spicy food, too._

Amusement from Marisa. "'Rainbow Wings' would make an awesome nickname."

"I should say _not_," Remilia disagreed. "She needs to keep her reputation inta-... Flandre! _Flandre!_ What are you... get off the floor!" she shouted, fists clenched at her sides. "Have some dignity, for Vlad's sake!"

Patchouli, having dismissed the scrying circles, drifted over and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Let it rest, Remi. Let it rest."

"Rrrr... Patchy, look at this! What is she doing?"

Patchouli closed her eyes, smiling. "Growing up."

Flandre was on her knees before Skarmory, hands on the floor and her head bowed. "I know you said you're no pet, but I've always wanted to play with something that wouldn't break. I've been locked up for centuries because of my lack of restraint. I understand why, and it's for my own good, but just once I'd like to spend the day with someone who isn't scared of my strength! Please, Skarmory, don't hold my anger against me! Forgive this humble child!"

No one moved. Remilia was torn between berating her sister and hoping for the best outcome. Sakuya and Koakuma waited with baited breath. Marisa whistled, impressed; Mismagius stayed quiet, not understanding the repercussions of Flandre's actions. Patchouli still smiled, likely knowing the outcome already. In the background, D.F. tried to count all the books she could see but lost track at seven.

Finally, Skarmory relaxed a bit and spoke. Mismagius obligingly translated: _Um, spicy food? Anytime now?_

"YEAHHHH!" Marisa pumped a fist and yelled, making Koakuma jump.

The younger Scarlet did not hesitate; she bolted from the floor and grabbed Skarmory in a hug, which seemed to greatly embarrass the Pokémon. "I _like_ it, I _like_ it!"

While no one was looking her way, Sakuya sighed quietly and added another notch to the "incidents resolved" tally.

Remilia facepalmed, but even then the corners of her lips kept twitching. "Flandre, Flandre, Flandre... were those lessons on etiquette and decorum for nothing?"

A low chuckle. "Friendship trumps pride," Patchouli said, dissolving the chains that kept Skarmory secured. "Maybe you'll have a better hand next time."

"The way things are going, there won't _be_ a next time," Remilia complained. She straightened, stretching her arms. "What would you know about friendship beating pride, anyway?"

"Plenty. I'm friends with _you,_ remember?"

Remilia slapped a hand over her heart, cried out as if she'd been staked, and slumped to the floor. Marisa snorted in amusement. "She's a total drama queen, isn't she?"

"You have _no_ idea, monochrome."

...

Flandre's joyous laughter would resound throughout the library for quite some time. Following a celebratory feast she would attempt to finish her performance before an audience, but that is a story for another day. What was important was that the moment that Skarmory agreed to be friends with her was one of the happiest moments of her life. Even Remilia couldn't dispute that.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Blastoise's moveset: Hydro Pump, Withdraw, Skull Bash, Mirror Coat

Approximate Level: 41

**Reimu's Notes:** Marisa freeloads from time to time if she forgets to restock. Suika? Whenever she's not bothering the Celestials or visiting the oni underground, here she is. Now we have a fully-armed _turtle_ in residence here at the shrine. Did I anger someone to have this done to me? Tell me honestly. I mean, it's not like it's helping me bring in donations or anything. So why am I willingly putting up with 'Blastoise', whatever that name means? Why am I thinking that letting it stay here would be a _good_ thing? Is my intuition telling me something? This requires further thought.

Delcatty's moveset: Hidden Power, Copycat, Ice Beam, Return

Approximate Level: 38

**Chen's Notes:** Creampuff took his loss a lot better than I did. Feeling disconnected from Ran-sama is not nice. Still, life with him around is fun. I can tell he misses his trainer, or master, or whatever you want to call it, but he's making the best of the situation. I can't wait to show him to Mystia and the others! Just imagine the games we could play!

Skarmory's moveset: Whirlwind, Spikes, Steel Wing, Peck

Approximate Level: 33

**Flandre's Notes:** Remi let me have a pet bird! ...Wait, I can't call it a pet. Oops! Anyway, this is a dream come true! Patchy confirmed that it really _is_ living armor. I don't understand all those fancy words she used, but I could figure out that it's why it can't be broken! It doesn't like being cooped up in here every hour, though, which I understand. I kinda wish I could follow it wherever it goes... curse my lack of self-control!


	4. Alice, the Villagers

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

**Chapter Four**

By: Curtis Wildcat

Pokémon and the Touhou Project are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders. Warning: creative liberties have been taken with one of the characters in this chapter. I've done what research I can on this character (thank goodness for the Touhou Wiki), and I've decided to... fill in the gaps, you could say. You were warned.

Also, another warning: not all Pokémon are benign or friendly with humans, and that means _someone's_ going to be getting the short end of the stick.

I split up Chapter Four. There was a scene that contributed to the plot late in the chapter, but it gives the impression that it's an outtake of some kind _and_ has next to nothing to do with the featured Pokémon; so, I gave it its own little niche in the listing.

Spot the _Cromartie High School_ cameo in Chapter 4.5 and dish up some ice cream. It's not a hard one to find.

/-/-/-/

It had come quickly that evening as the sun was setting. The wind, the rain, the thunder and lightning: all the signs that a storm was striking a substantial section of Gensokyo. Most of the residents sequestered themselves indoors, except for those fairies and youkai that loved being out in this sort of weather. It was entirely unexpected; all the signs had pointed to clear and mild conditions, and any gossip amongst the youkai focused on the possible reasons for the change.

Whatever the cause of it was, it didn't bother Alice; her work went on no matter what the weather was. People knew her as a dollmaker and puppeteer, occupations that went hand-in-hand. For now, she was neither: instead she was a researcher, determining and testing the means for which her creations would be able to increase in size.

"...The ice fairy had been able to surpass the Titania Dolls, to say nothing of the Goliath Doll," Alice murmured to herself as she took notes. "...So not only are they inadequate against small, agile targets, intimidation and strength probably wouldn't be enough against any youkai intelligent enough to craft a Spell Card." She shuddered. "And if I used them against Marisa..."

_If I used them against Marisa, the Forest would be littered with debris faster than I could blink. __**Why**__ did she have to steal that attack from Yuuka?_

"...Perhaps it would be best if I reserved them for opponents larger than me," she continued, deciding to wrap things up for now. "And there's still the issue of keeping the Goliath Doll intact for longer than a minute of use... a more stable source of magic is required. I'd rather not be housebound again just because it self-destructed next to me..."

_**That**__ had been embarrassing. Just as well that no one was around to see it; the fairy flew off as soon as the Goliath Doll exploded. Because of the blazing backlash I was stuck indoors for two days to recover, and my dress was a complete waste... thankfully, I have seven identical outfits in my closet for such a situation. If I learned anything from that fiasco, it's that I need to fireproof anything that needs it._

Alice set her notes aside, got up and looked about her house, checking on her collection. Satisfied that nothing was out of place, she sat down in the front room with the latest copy of the Bunbunmaru newspaper and flicked it open. _May as well see what the tengu has been up to,_ she thought, smiling a little._ Mocking the half-truths in her reports is often good for a laugh... _She blinked as a headline caught her eye. _...Hm? Wonder what this is..._

**"New Types of Youkai Sighted! Friends, Foes, or Et Cetera?"**

/-/-/

_Reimu, Marisa, the shikigami's shikigami, the Scarlet Devil Mansion's gatekeeper, and the moon rabbit have all been sighted in the company of assorted creatures. They are strange, and yet in some cases strangely familiar... the blue turtle brings to mind the old lizard that was ferrying Reimu to Makai when we first met. No one knows where they came from, and the only conjecture anyone has to offer is that they may possibly have come from another world altogether... but there is no true proof of this beyond their unfamiliarity with the Spell Card system. All but the youngest of those seen have their fighting abilities sharply honed, and their attacks bear only a passing resemblance to true danmaku._

Alice shook her head, smiling bitterly. _This must be why Marisa hasn't dropped in for some time: the new arrivals have gotten everyone worked up, trying to discover what they can about them. I don't care that she hasn't visited- - -I'd forgotten what it was like to have true peace and quiet- - -but she could've gotten the news to me ahead of the tengu._

The _boom_ of thunder that followed her thoughts reminded her that it was storming outside. _It's too late to go anywhere now, and navigating through the storm would be more trouble than it would be worth. _Yawning, she pushed the newspaper aside and stretched a little. _Time to call it a night._

...

As she went about her preparations for sleep, Alice thought she detected a dark aura brushing against her house's defensive magic. She closed her eyes for a few moments and focused, but the sensation didn't repeat itself. _Might have been the darkness youkai. The storm would make the perfect cover for someone like Rumia to catch her prey, whether she's successful or not. ...Of course, typically _not.

"Now how did that little tune go again..." Alice 'hmm'ed to herself. _"~Shadow, shadow you idiot, watch out for that tree...~"_ A soft chuckle. "...Or words to that effect... ah, that was a classic act. Maybe I could use it again during my next performance at the village... I was told that it was fairly popular amongst the children..."

Her eyes drifted to Shanghai, sitting peacefully on a shelf near her bed. "And here I go talking to myself again... maybe I ought to get out more. What do _you_ think?"

Shanghai didn't respond, which was to be expected. Alice, however, sweatdropped as if the doll had actually spoken. "What do you mean, 'mad as a hatter'? Is that some sort of joke?"

Again with the silence.

"No, I'm not going to any tea parties anytime soon," Alice answered, her voice heated. "I've been very busy recently. Now if you're finished teasing me, I'd like to go to sleep now..."

Alice had been facing away from the window, so she didn't see the shining blue eyes that had been looking through it at her. Her danger sense suddenly flared, and she whirled around... right as a field of blackness surrounded her.

The void descended, with Shanghai as its only witness. Naturally, she was speechless.

**/-/-/-/-/**

At the back of her mind, Alice knew she had been attacked. Some small part of her- - -possibly a white blood cell- - -tried to keep this thought in mind, to wake her up to the reality that all was not well in the city of Margatroid. Her dreams squashed that outspoken voice, subjecting it to so much strangeness that it finally threw its hands in the air and stated that they were all weirdoes.

The ridiculousness of it all unnerved her. There Alice was in a field, taking part in a game of some kind. But she, along with everyone else on the field and in the audience, was staring in shock as Marisa prepped her Master Spark. Did she not realize that it was not needed for her to win, or did she just not care? Just what in Gensokyo was going on here?

Marisa's mini-hakkero released its power, striking not only its target but also Alice and several hapless kedama, blasting them away. The flash of light had made Alice squeeze her eyes shut, so she didn't see where the target went. But over the Spark's roar, she could hear Rinnousuke shout a single word:

_"GOALLLLLL!"_

Light became dark.

/-/-/-/-/

It entered the room through a puddle of darkness, desperate for escape. It was unnerved, seeking sustenance and a way to fight back... against what, it knew not. It had been violently transported to a land it did not recognize as its home, where the order of things was so... different.

It did not want any of this. It did not want someone to bring out its strengths, for it was already strong. It wanted to eat, to go home, to live in safety away from humans who would use its power for their own objectives. That was all.

Darkrai hovered over Alice's unconscious form, feasting on the immaterial energy that only a person's nightmares could provide.

It really should have been more aware of its surroundings.

**/-/-/-/**

A steel titan, painted blue and patterned with flames, raised its foot over the building. Drums were beaten, and guitars were strummed.

"No! No, wait, not my house- - -!"

Ignoring her cry, the titan stomped down on the house. Repeatedly. This was closely followed by repeated pummeling from a pair of metallic fists, and a high-intensity volley of energy beams. Almost unheard over the ruckus, someone cackled with glee.

Rooted to the ground and filled with despair, Alice missed the "DMV" sign- - -"Department of Magical Vehicles"- - -that was blown at her.

/-/-/-/

Shanghai didn't move, didn't visibly react to the threat... all the better to keep herself unknown to the enemy. It was impossible to tell with this doll what her nature was; when she wasn't being controlled by Alice, she never seemed to do anything.

But she had eyes. All the dolls had eyes, and they had ears. They were imbued with a spot of magic that made it easier for them to be manipulated, to be used for any purpose their controller deemed necessary... including surveillance. Because of this, nothing in the house escaped their notice. And what one saw, same with the rest.

Alice loved them, took good care of them all, and sought a way to give them true life. What she didn't know was that in their own way, they already _were_ alive. Not in the sense that they could truly think or feel, but in the sense that their loyalty to their creator knew no limits. That was the seed, and one day it would sprout into something much greater... but for now, this would do.

They knew right away that their master, their mother, was in danger. They saw. They heard.

And they _responded._

**/-/-/**

"Alice? Alice dear? Please wake up."

_...Shinki? ...I'm back home...? Dear sweet mother of Makai, I've been gone too long..._

"Alice?"

"I'm awake, I'm awake..."

Or so she said, but her eyelids felt really heavy. She strained to open them, grimacing.

"It's been a long time, Alice. My, you've certainly grown, and not just in appearance."

The smudges before her eyes slowly solidified; she recognized Shinki's general shape and appearance, blurry as they were. Alice hung her head, feeling disappointed in herself. "I've never succeeded, mother. In catching up to them..."

"I take it that's why you left in such a hurry?" Shinki sounded amused. "I had wondered where you had gone..."

"The four of them struck like lightning. I remember they hadn't taken your "tourism" idea well..."

"Well, yes. I suppose I should've asked first."

Alice stared down at the floor. "I wanted to get back at them in some way, so I unlocked the grimoire... but by the time I had expended all the energy it was willing to give me, they still stood triumphant." Her vision clouded up again. "I thought you would be angry with me for going so far, and I had difficulty living with myself for my failure... so I fled, keeping myself hidden from Reimu and the others when they returned to Gensokyo. I didn't feel I could face you again without feeling ashamed..."

Shinki sighed. "My little daughter, where did you get such ideas into your head? Why did you think that I would be upset with you for seeking to restore my honor? I might doubt your actions, but never your motivation." She knelt and took Alice into her arms. "No matter what you think, you will always have a place here. That has not changed, and it never will."

Alice never felt so thankful towards her mother figure in her entire life. She was willing to forgive her actions? To take her back into Makai, if she allowed it? She thought about what it would be worth, living under her wings again...

"And aside from that, you look kinda cute when you're cryin'."

Her eyes widened. That wasn't Shinki!

"...What? Did I say something wrong?"

Alice yanked herself free and scooted away, her vision clearing up fully, and for the first time she got a discernible look at the woman's face. The puppeteer was right: she might have been dressed like her, but this person wasn't Shinki. Her face reddened out of mortification and anger. _**"MARISA!**_ What are you doing here?!"

Marisa grinned and tipped her hat. "Usurping your dream, Alice. What did you _think_ I was doing?"

"_**ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!"**_

/-/-/

They had no auras for Darkrai to sense, no energies that it recognized. For all it knew, they shouldn't have been able to live, never mind flying. And yet they did.

The door to Alice's room slammed open, and a blistering barrage of danmaku billowed forth. Caught by surprise, there was no way for Darkrai to dodge them all; while some of the bullets kept it hemmed in, the rest struck home and exploded, smacking it into the wall. Each bullet had been weak individually, but together they distracted the Pokémon enough for it to reflexively dispel the Dark Void.

A dozen dolls in assorted dresses and costumes, armed with weapons ranging from lances to bows and arrows, flew into the room and formed a screen around and above their master. A tiny bit of smoke, which vanished as their hands stopped glowing, proved that they had been responsible for the bullet wave.

The sight of twelve faces locked in a permanent, unyielding stare would've unnerved the average human, but Darkrai wasn't bothered. Floating away from the wall, it darted around and made a variety of sharp turns so fast that it resembled little more than a black blur. The dolls' faces turned left and right, trying to keep track of it. It was to no avail as Darkrai flew in from their blind side, intending to sweep them away with a single Faint Attack...

Three fingers twitched.

A red energy shield, a triangle positioned in the center, manifested directly in Darkrai's path. Committed to its attack as it was, it was unable to change course; it struck the shield at full speed and rebounded off, flipping end over end and _smashing_ into the magically-reinforced wall. The shield disappeared immediately thereafter.

"... ..."

Alice slowly stood, not saying a word as Darkrai freed itself from the wall again. Her body quivered with silent rage as she got her breathing under control. Her eyes, which had been blue before, had turned an eerie yellow. She pivoted a fraction, meeting Darkrai face to face. It was only when a Spell Card materialized in her left hand did she finally speak.

"I do not know who or what you are. Really, I can't bring myself to care. I never bothered you or otherwise antagonized you in any way, shape or form. And yet here you are, not only intruding on my home territory but striking when my guard was down. Normally I would not forgive you for your offenses, especially in light of your unwarranted attack on my subconscious. However, the hour is late and I am tired; I would like little more than to regain my strength without your interference. So I will give you the chance to leave this place. I suggest you take it and go, or else you will learn what it means to anger a youkai."

Darkrai was not intimidated by her words, or by the malevolent aura she was emitting (which, unbeknownst to the Pokémon, had caused every fairy within a one kilometer radius to pass out from an unexplained fear). It knew that it was capable of dealing with far worse than the dolls were churning out, and if pushed could come out on top in a fight. Yet it remained still, trying to determine whether it should stick around to do so or retreat. There was plenty of easier prey that it could find, and it did need to siphon energy _somewhere_ if it was to live.

It didn't want to be here. If only it knew how it had gotten here... then it could've been able to do something about it! But no; here it was, stuck in a strange land where even inanimate objects could fight back. This was not what it bargained for. No, it would not stay here and garner any more of this odd girl's wrath.

_**There will be... another time.**_

Coldly furious, Darkrai sunk into the floor and disappeared; several dolls started to drift towards the door to find it, still operating on the instinctive command that made them attack the intruder to start with, but a motion from Alice's fingers made them remain. Less than half a minute later, a flash of lightning illuminated its shady form through the window as it fled deeper into the Forest.

/-/-/

Alice waited a while after her assailant passed beyond the range of her senses before doing anything. She wanted to make sure that it would _not_ be returning, and it allowed her to ensure that her mental faculties were still at full strength.

Had this youkai, or whatever it was, just chosen poorly while out on the hunt? ...No. It was new to her personal territory to be sure, but she could both see the intelligence in its eyes and sense its power. Such a stupid mistake should never have been considered...

_Unless it's one of those new breeds that the newspaper was talking about, and it is unfamiliar with Gensokyo's own little rogues gallery. The average resident is not one to be underestimated, and if it was locked into a Spell Card duel _without any Cards _against someone of Keine's level or higher, victory would not come easy. The moon people especially would have a field day with this one._

Her eyes returned to their normal blue color, and she dispelled her Spell Card. _Still, I have the feeling that I'm missing something important... something terribly, terribly important- - -..._

"Nghh!"

The muscles in her legs gave way. Alice fell on her knees, struggled back upright but then collapsed back-first against the side of her bed, the rush of adrenalin from her anger dissipating. "...It was draining my energy while I was asleep... of _course_ I'm going to feel fatigued," she grumbled. She looked up at the squad of dolls that were floating nearby, now that she'd managed to get some strings connected to them, and smiled. "I wish I could make it up to you somehow... you might have just saved my life a minute ago."

Her pleased look shifted into confusion as she turned to stare at Shanghai, and from there into a sort-of panic. "What... wait... you said 'Dogpile on the dollmaker'?! What does that- - -AAH!"

The collection of dolls dropped their weapons on the floor and dived at Alice, pressing her into the side of the bed. Her feigned fear gave way to merriment. "So, _that's_ how you want to play?" Struggling a bit, she was able to loosen one of the dolls' grip on her, only to immediately return the embrace she'd just experienced. "The youkai of hugs has invaded! Counterattack, my little legion!" she ordered, sure of the knowledge that this wouldn't be reaching the public's ears.

There was a time for anger and worry in every day, but she had already experienced those; now was a time for joy and amusement. She always regretted her loss to Reimu and the others at Makai, but her hobby, her creations, her _way of life_ were jewels to be treasured. By the time she finally gave in to exhaustion, a dozen lifeless dolls all but smothering her under their weight, the surrealism of her prior nightmares had been forgotten...

And unseen by Alice, Shanghai's expression shifted into something contented for a few seconds before reverting back to its standard neutrality.

_**-GAP-**_

It had been two days since Yukari had left the Laydens behind. Two days of hours-long traveling, scenic views, bonding with Midori, and heavy sleeping. Her progress was slow and steady as she headed straight south, and she repeatedly cursed at whoever it was that had created that map of Hoenn. The region was a _lot_ bigger than they had made it out to be; she'd expected to be at Mauville City by now. She would've just flown there, but she didn't want to divulge that ability to anyone who might be watching.

Following their mid-day meal yesterday, Yukari had tested Midori to see exactly where her strengths were. Her experience in battle didn't match her age, sadly, as the former Vulpix had no motivation to train herself at all while the overseer was gone. She doubted that it was due to any lack of effort on Kevin's part; the fox Pokémon just never felt comfortable taking orders from anyone else. She estimated that its level was in the upper 20s, which left plenty of room for improvement.

Since its training was incomplete, it still needed to learn the Energy Ball technique. One thing Yukari had learned during her first stay was that the rock-paper-scissors system was in full force here; if Midori was exposed to large amounts of water or intensive earth-related strikes, she would be in serious danger. She didn't know why a technique that embodied nature could be taught to a fire breather, but if it worked out it would go a long way towards evening the odds.

Most Pokémon had enough brainpower to retain up to four techniques successfully. It was uncommon, although not rare, for a Pokémon to possess five or more; but most of the time, if they were taught an extra technique they risked forgetting one that they already knew. The exact criteria needed to unlock the "extra storage" had stymied researchers and professors for decades. Once Energy Ball was mastered, Yukari would have to choose which of Midori's attacks that she wanted to get rid of.

First, there was the high-intensity Heat Wave technique, roughly equal in strength to Flamethrower, if not stronger. It was Midori's most effective move, and the only one she had that did direct damage. No way was Yukari going to ditch that.

There was Roar. Yukari had heard Vulpix use this 'attack' once before, and it sounded more like a loud squeal (which somehow managed to scare away Pokémon of its size). It was possible that the pitch and tone had improved upon her evolution, but she had yet to judge for herself.

Third was Will O Wisp, the technique that Yukari had bad memories of. Being able to cause instant burns was nice, but the real question would be whether Midori would be willing to use it again in light of how much she regretted that incident.

Fourth and last was Double Team. Personally Yukari thought it was fitting for Midori to have that technique; unlike Ran and Chen, the Ninetales couldn't flummox a foe by flipping around the battlefield, so perhaps illusions would suffice. Time would tell if it could be used to its maximum effectiveness.

_So much planning and so little time,_ Yukari thought as she walked. _I've gotten too used to having my powers at my beck and call. Tactics are my forte, and I'll need to rely on them heavily here. This will be good for me on some level, of that much I'm sure._

_That being said..._ Her face scrunched up in annoyance. _How much farther until I reach that blasted city? Walking around like this is too much work!_

"Hey. You're a trainer, right?"

Yukari paused to regard a rock off to her left. A dark-haired, lightly tanned teenage girl dressed for summer sat there, her clothes mostly purple and black; she had an odd scent that only someone with Yukari's enhanced senses could've detected. What was distinctive about her were the flame-patterned, fingerless gloves she wore and the red-white ribbon positioned in the center of her head.

A _very familiar_ red-white ribbon.

The youkai shook her head and answered the girl. "I'm not registered, nor am I interested in a battle at this time."

The teenager smirked. "Good, because I'm not looking for one."

Yukari's 'Indignance' button wasn't that easy to push. "So... why ask me?"

A smirk no more. "I'm just wondering if you might've seen a Blaziken anywhere around here."

"No, I haven't."

The girl snarled something under her breath that couldn't have been polite. "Blast it... first one, and now another... what is _wrong_ with this world all of a sudden?"

_What is wrong with...?_ "Mind explaining to a tourist what you are talking about?" Yukari inquired, left eyebrow arched.

The girl grimaced, but nodded. "Got a call from a good friend in Rustboro three days ago, telling me that her Delcatty's gone missing. I dismissed it as just cats being cats... they have their habits and all that. Then not one hour after I got the call, my partner Blaziken vanished while my back was turned."

"Vanished?"

"Yeah. We've been training together since I started my journey, and far as I know I've never done anything to offend him." The girl waved her hands about in frustration. "It's like... I dunno, like he disappeared by magic or something."

Yukari remained visibly neutral, but internally she was interested. _As if he were spirited away... hmmm... But is boundary manipulation the root cause of this, or is it something else? It can't possibly be this clear-cut._ "Now that's highly improbable. Who believes in magic in this day and age?"

"That's what I'm thinking, so I've been wandering this entire route looking for clues." The girl shrugged. "Haven't found anything yet, but I'm going to keep at it until my supplies start running low."

"On that note," Yukari asked, "just how far is it to Mauville City?"

"About six miles as the Murkrow flies," was the trainer's response, her eyes assessing everything there was to see. "Heh... you look like you have a soft and cushy job somewhere. Who are you?"

"Yukari Yakumo. And now you're just being rude."

"Eh ... Call me Zanthia. Or Zappy; everyone else does. Where are you headed?"

"Littleroot, then Rustboro. I heard that they have a good library."

"They do, at that... although the librarian's been looking like a zombie as of late."

"..."

Zanthia shrugged at Yukari's silence, mistaking it for disbelief. "You'll see for yourself when you get there. Anything else?"

Yukari smiled. "Remember, you're the one who started all this, not me. If you hadn't stopped me, I'd still be making good time on my trip."

"Yeah, listen to the parasol lady," an accented voice taunted from behind Zanthia, making her eyes dilate. "You'll be less confused that way... not like that's ever stopped you."

Zanthia somersaulted onto the path and whirled around to face the newcomer, who was standing just a foot away from the rock. Yukari inhaled sharply: the figure had red hair tipped with white, and had traveling clothes similar to her own, but her senses were screaming at her that she _knew_ who this person was. There was no way her beauty could be anything _but_ unearthly.

"_**You!**_ Don't you dare sneak up on me like that!" Zanthia bit out, fury radiating off of her in waves. She obviously didn't care about how good-looking this person was. "Do you have no concept of personal space?!"

"Look, we know how this is going to end," the older woman said, yawning. "I taunt you, you make accusations, and we work each other up to a Pokémon battle. Let's eliminate the middleman and get down to business, alright, Zappy?"

"Gladly!" Zanthia grabbed a Poké Ball from her belt and triggered it, jettisoning a Hariyama. "You've got a lot to answer for, Serena!"

"Me and everyone else in the world." 'Serena' let out her own Pokémon, this one an obvious water-type but of a species that was unfamiliar to Yukari. "Everything with you is 'grudge grudge grudge grudge'. My ancestors and yours are dead, so just get over it already!"

Yukari noted that both of the Pokémon weren't terribly enthusiastic about battling when they saw who they were up against. She could easily picture them saying 'well, here we go again'. "Far be it from me to meddle in the affairs of strangers." She turned and walked away; knowing they couldn't see it, she grinned broadly. "Thanks for your help, Miss Zanthia."

"Yeah, whatever. Hariyama, Cross Chop!"

"Harrriiii..."

"Empoleon, Drill Peck!"

"Emmmp..."

"-YAMA!"

"-POLEON!"

...

As she left the combat behind, Yukari's mind was at work. Even without her dream a decade and a half prior, she had always been a firm believer in the concept of a multiverse and alternate dimensions. Many people in one world had their counterparts in another; she personally knew of at least one reality where she lost all ability to reason when faced with a defeat, and shunned her other self for it. Around the time Tenshi was acting up, she had a brief encounter with a "mirror image" of herself that possessed a different color scheme but fought the same way.

Zanthia didn't have all of the qualities, to be sure. She was a bit more talkative, took an active interest in what Yukari was up to, and showed elements of... well, being a jerk. But by connecting the dots, the youkai could tell that she had a close association with fire-types. There was her reaction when that other woman appeared, and the violent animosity that would've led to a brawl in any other era. Of course, there was also the ribbon.

And Yukari had finally determined what that strange scent was that had been lingering around Zanthia: the scent of agelessness, of something long-lasting. The same scent, she belatedly realized, that was on the woman she was battling.

_Even across dimensions, lives and names, your eternal grudge lives on... Fujiwara no Mokou._

_**-GAP-**_

True to Zanthia's word, Mauville City was six miles away. This took Yukari close to three and a half hours to traverse, maintaining a slow pace and stopping to rest halfway there. By the time she reached the city limits, the sun had sunk to just above the horizon.

Upon entering she wandered around a bit, venturing into the brighter areas of the city and taking in the sights before proceeding to track down the Pokémon Center. _Give Midori a checkup, then sleep, sleep, __**sleep.**__ There has to be a faster way to get this done!_

"Hey, lady. This part of town is the Violet Vigoroths' territory. Pay the fee, for it ain't free."

Preoccupied with her thoughts, Yukari ignored the leather-dressed carnival rejects and kept walking. _I never thought I'd regret the day that I openly mocked the first bicycles. If I knew that they were going to be this widespread, I would've bought one for myself and never used it._

Footsteps pounded the ground behind her. "Lady! Are you listening?! Get back here!" "Linoone, Swalot, after her!"

_Depending on the bicycle, I could look rather classy while riding one, but the terrain in Gensokyo would not allow it. Maybe I could buy one as a souvenir, learn the basics, and teach Chen how to ride it. _Yukari's hand moved to the back of her head to scratch it; meeting resistance, she applied extra strength in return to deal with that annoying itch. _I could ask the kappa to modify it, make it strong enough to run over an oni in the middle of the road..._

"Linoone! No! How did she- - -?!" "Forget Linoone; look what she did to Swalot! Ninjask, stop her, _now!"_

_Make the bike's horn sound like a saxophone..._ Yukari scowled as a housefly buzzed around her head. "For autumn, the bugs are certainly out in force," she complained. "Hold still, you little devil..." Her hand blurred, swatting the fly into a streetlight. Pleased, she resumed walking. _There we go... now then, where was I... oh, right; transforming the bike into a one-vehicle orchestra..._

"_GAHH!_ Why, that woman...! Vigoroths, _go!"_

_I wonder if I should get one for Ran, too... ...no, she'd probably get her tails caught in the spokes. As entertaining it would be to watch her get them untangled, it's better to err on the side of caution... hmmm?_ Yukari stooped down, picking something up from the ground. A rush of air tickled the back of her neck. _It's getting colder already, huh... so, what is this?_ She stood up, not feeling whatever it was that touched the back of her head, and frowned. _What sort of person just leaves a perfectly usable Super Potion sitting in the middle of the road?_

"Vigoroths, Slash Attack, both of you!"

_And just when I was thinking no one littered around here, too... _Yawning, Yukari stretched her arms and rotated them in a circle. Hearing a pair of impacts, she checked her possessions to make sure she hadn't dropped anything. _Hmm... everything seems to be in order... well, no sense dilly-dallying. Midori can't wait any longer._ Picking up the pace a little, she hurried on down the street; the Pokémon Center was only a few blocks away.

_**-GAP-**_

The band of teenagers gaped at the street in shock. Their Linoone? Slapped aside, taking Swalot with it and getting the poisonous Pokémon stuck halfway down a storm drain. Their Ninjask? Viewed as a pest, and dealt with accordingly. The Vigoroths for which they were named? Taken out with blows to the head and chin. Their Pokémon had scarcely even touched her.

"What...?! That lady...!" cried one of the gang members, his orange hair frazzled. "She did all that without even using her Pokémon!"

"That just ain't right," another boy agreed. This kid could be identified by both the Mightyena tattoo on his left arm and his shaved head. "Think we should tell the boss?"

"We can't do that! She's going to have our jackets when she finds out that we let an unarmed woman curbstomp us!" A third child protested, hands vanishing inside his oversized sleeves.

"Well, we have to do _something!"_

"Now, hold up just a moment." Vigoroth Number Four, their youngest (and smallest), stopped it from escalating into a shouting match. Her unkempt reddish-pink hair hid most of her face from view. "She's uber-strong without her Pokémon, right? If she sicced it on us, wouldn't we have been bullying a Salamence or somethin'?"

"You spend way too much time on the computer, Merril," the first teen complained.

"And you haven't spent _enough,_ man."

"Would you guys stop arguing and help me get Swalot out of the storm drain?!" the fifth and final kid, the 'brute' of the group, complained as he struggled to pull out his Pokémon.

"Just return it to its Poké Ball so we can go home," Merril muttered. "Sheesh."

A sweatdrop. "Oh... right. Forgot about that."

/-/-/-/

We leave our protagonists and their associates behind for the moment to take a look at how the Human Village is faring.

Pokémon- - -the villagers knew them as 'those strange beasts'- - -were becoming increasingly common sights. A small tannish creature armed with a heavy wooden block had assisted a young man with a shed he was building. A flock of small brown birds, their species unrecognizable, roosted quietly in some trees near Keine's school and occasionally pecked at stray bits of food; they remained for only a day before taking wing towards parts unknown. An elderly fishermen told of a sizable red carp that he had caught, useless even for eating. Several fairies were pestering a couple that lived at the outskirts of the village, only to be chased away by a fire-breathing orange puppy. There was much speculation as to who and what they were, why no one had seen them before, and why few of their objectives coincided (speculation that was fueled by Aya's last issue of the Bunbunmaru). On the whole it seemed they didn't mean any serious harm, but one could never be too careful.

Reimu, having just met Blastoise, knew that they were all connected somehow. She'd had meetings with Keine and later Akyuu, telling them what Ran had informed her of and divulging some information on how they chose to fight. After the shrine maiden left, Akyuu had consulted a few people she knew and decided to see these creatures first-hand; a new race of beings meant more material for the Chronicles.

She would need protection, she knew. There were still plenty of youkai and fairies that would try to attack her if she went alone, including a few that she'd written about already. To that end, she handpicked three people to protect her when the time came to start the information hunt. She would've liked to have Reimu or Keine with her, but there was little time to waste and the latter was busy with her lessons anyway.

/-/

The first man was a descendant of an English-German tradesman who had been caught within Gensokyo's borders at the time the Great Hakurei Barrier had first been raised. Said descendant had changed his family name at his marriage, all the better to describe his unhappy mood. Despite running a successful second-hand store, few in the Human Village thought much of him as a person. His actions were unpredictable, his way of life unfathomable; rumor had it that he'd been responsible for getting Gensokyo's dumbest fairy a job at the dreaded Scarlet Devil Mansion. His painted-on mustache, large eyebrows and thick glasses-the latter because he believed his eyesight was going, although in truth Mystia Lorelei's singing had been responsible for it-made him easily recognizable.

Leonard wasn't a respectful man by nature, but after some discussion he finally agreed to Akyuu's request. "Hunting is more treble than its worth, so I might as well catch me some loud-mouthed bass," he'd said. "But if the notes get too high, I'm leaving my signature behind. Now get allegro and get out of my shop. You're blocking my view of the door."

Akyuu had nodded and left promptly, pretending that she'd understood him perfectly.

/-/

The second man was a born Outsider, a con artist who had dropped out of high school. Because he fit all of Yukari's criteria and was considered easily forgettable, she had no qualms with dropping him into Gensokyo. By some miracle he made it to civilization without being discovered by anyone (Rumia would've spotted him, but she was busy crashing into foliage). As the years passed he finally found his calling as a fisherman, although he still occasionally tried to con people to earn some quick yen. He knew the basics of Spell Card battles, what few attack patterns he had being based on fishing as a whole. He was incapable of flight, however, and his special ability lent itself better to piano playing than to combat.

"Ah, the young lady's out to catch one of them beasties, huh?" Martin answered when Akyuu went to recruit him. "Alright, I protect you. If trouble strikes, you'll find me behind a rock."

Akyuu was already beginning to wonder about her choice of protectors.

/-/

The third and final individual, a half-Japanese man with curly red hair, was a former circus performer who had ventured into Gensokyo purely by accident. Showing some talent with throwing weaponry, he was immediately recruited as a watchman; he later learned enough about magic to fly, and even had several Spell Cards revolving around assorted circus tricks. He often seemed more interested in entertainment than fighting, due more to the somewhat improved relationship between humans and youkai than anything else. He always carried a pair of clippers in his pocket and had a varied collection of hair accessories, although no one as yet had made the connection between those traits and Reimu's wariness of him.

Pie smiled toothily and nodded when Akyuu requested his presence. Pleased that nothing seemed out of the ordinary with his acceptance, Akyuu turned to walk away- - -and discovered that he had managed to slip his leg into her arms while she'd been speaking.

/-/

They didn't have long to wait for the next sighting. The day after Pie was chosen for the team, another watchman reported that a fiery maned horse had been witnessed galloping around outside the village proper. A farmer expressed an interest in taming the horse, which added extra incentive for the unlikely foursome to capture it. The group- - -in various states of eagerness and quiet dread- - -met up at the entrance, as ready as they would ever be.

Leonard came prepared, carrying a sack full of equipment (which he immediately coerced Pie into carrying). "You need everything you can find to catch a horse," he claimed. "Why, in another reality I was a horse doctor. Whenever I caught a horse, my pharmacist would lie about the medicine."

"Oh, you just got a bad one," Martin told him, shouldering a fishing rod and carrying a box of assorted lures. How they'd be useful in catching a horse, Akyuu would never know. "You should've thrown it back."

"Which one, the horse or the pharmacist?"

"Whichever came with the stable. Now what's this about a farmer's sister?"

"Well, assistance made her life a gas. You should try it sometime."

"Maybe later. I could use a beer."

"A drink at _this_ hour?"

"Sure. If I get assistance now, I'd never pay them back. Better if I gave _them_ assistance, for their sake," Martin said, mispronouncing the drink as a one-syllable word.

Leonard looked offended at this. "Assistance from you would be more than they could stomach, you pain in the neck. Now come on. We've got a cold horse to treat."

/-/-/

"Was any of that in Japanese at _all?_" Akyuu asked as they walked, feeling left out of the loop. "I didn't understand a thing you two were saying."

"You need a grapple to overcome the language barrier, little girl, and I doubt they sell them in your size," Leonard answered bluntly, mentally running over some ways to catch the fire horse. Ingenuity would be the key here, he knew.

Pie reached into his coat, pulled out a large apple, and offered it to Leonard. The shopkeeper pushed it aside. "Not an apple. A _grapple._ Don't you know what a grapple is?"

Pie smiled in understanding, put the apple away, and pulled out a bunch of grapes instead.

Leonard shook his head. "Remember, Akyuu: never send a clown to do a man's job. And never send a man to do a clown's job. If more men were like clowns and more clowns were like men, life and comedy would be serious businesses."

One by one, the group stopped in the middle of the grassy plains bordering the village. Half a kilometer away were the dirt paths that led through the forest, and they didn't want to pass through there if they could avoid it. "So what you're saying is that the job requires a woman?" Akyuu inquired.

"No. If women were clowns, the population in the village would be lower. The local youkai wouldn't need any help, and that's if they didn't die laughing first. Send the schoolteacher at them, and they'd learn awful quick."

Akyuu recognized most of that statement as an insult. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when she remembered who she was dealing with. This wasn't the average human male. While no one was quite as rude as he was, she knew who the second-best had gotten it from. _I will not take the bait he is offering_.

"Hey, now. That'sa no good. Leave Achoo-san alone," Martin protested, not seeing the fiery horse walk up to Pie and eat the grapes out of his hand. "She's not bothering you. Why bother her?"

"Akyuu," the girl corrected.

"Excuse you."

"To have the right stuff, the pen must be mightier than the sword," Leonard declared. "But if you need a sword to write stuff, you've got other problems. I'd say that she looks like my dear wife, but that would be an insult to my wife. It's bad enough that our child left us."

Akyuu frowned. "You're confusing me. Should I take that as a compliment? ...And again, how much of that was in Japanese?"

"About as much as the horse is."

By the time Pie bothered to check his hand, a third of the grapes had been taken; he did a double-take, looking around for the culprit, but whoever it was had disappeared. He whistled, pointing out the grapes.

Martin shook his head. "That's too much of the sour stuff. Where'sa the horse?"

"Good question..." Akyuu pondered. "You'd think something giving off a lot of heat would be easy to find..."

"Maybe it don't like the cold weather?" Martin suggested. "Or maybe..." He smiled. "It's shy? That has to be it. You think it's shy?"

"A shy horse will brain you with its hooves just as easily as a nasty one will, and with you no one could tell the difference," said Leonard, rejecting that notion. "I say that it just plain doesn't like people."

Akyuu's eyes turned towards Pie and the fruit that he was still hanging on to. Unless someone like, say, a fairy or tanuki was joking with them, the food wouldn't disappear on its own. While Leonard occupied himself with rooting through the equipment sack, searching for a chain snare, the writer paid close attention to the trio's silent entertainer.

This time, she noticed the horse calmly and quietly sneaking up to Pie. Amused, she watched as it filched a few more grapes from him. "Pie-san, may I try a few of those?" Akyuu asked. "Those look tasty. What are those?"

Pie beamed pleasantly at her and started to hand them over... and recoiled when the horse poked its head in, not yet finished with its thievery. That got the others' attention awful quick. "There it is. Catch it!" Martin shouted, dropping his fishing supplies and making a dive for the horse.

Said horse would have none of it. Neighing, it took a few steps back and permitted Martin to catch a dirt nap instead. The horse snorted, pleased, then turned and galloped away.

Martin pushed himself up, brushing dirt off his face and clothes, but Leonard spoke up before he could complain. "'Shy', eh? Looks like it took a hankering to Pie's fruit, chief."

The lights in Akyuu's head flickered on. "You three, do you mind if I take a shot at capturing it?" she inquired sweetly.

"How are you gonna do that, Achoo-san?" Martin asked, wondering what she was thinking as he picked up his equipment.

"_Akyuu_."

"Excuse you."

Leonard shook his head. "That joke wasn't funny the first time, and it sure wasn't funny the second. Let the girl explain."

Akyuu sighed. _"Thank you._ Now, then... Pie, how much fruit do you have with you?"

Pie searched his coat pockets, producing a bag of cherries. Further searching was rewarded with some strawberries, more cherries, five or so peaches... and when a watermelon- - -neatly divided into four sections- - -were brought out, Akyuu boggled at the sight of it all. "That's... that's more than enough," she murmured, awed. "...You really _are_ a clown." _And the favored fruit of the Celestials to boot?_

"Nah, it's nothing. His coat just has really big pockets," said Martin, laughing softly.

"Yes... but _an entire watermelon?"_

"Charting Pie leads to headaches," Leonard warned. "Trust me. So what's the plan, Hieda?"

"Gather around." Akyuu gestured at them to do so. "It's like this..."

/-/-/-/

Rapidash found the four humans to be entertaining overall. As it watched and listened from afar they would bicker and joke with each other, laughing and doing odd things. There was a certain sense of fellowship amongst them that it could sense; perhaps they or someone like them would be willing to accept the Pokémon. They didn't look like the type of humans who would do it harm (they really needed to learn the proper way to catch it, though).

Finally the strangely-dressed man pulled out a collection of fruit, and Rapidash's mouth watered a little. After some discussion three of the humans backed off, leaving the girl holding part of what resembled an all-green Watmel Berry. The human nibbled at the fruit, making happy little noises as she ate and taking care not to eat any of the seeds.

Thinking that the girl was harmless Rapidash walked across the plains towards her, snorting and muttering as it went. It stopped a meter away, judging the girl's reaction; she was sweating a little, perhaps from being in the presence of the Pokémon's majesty, but to her credit she didn't try to run away.

The human looked up to meet Rapidash's stare, her smile brave but meek. "Excuse me," she asked it, holding out the sort-of Watmel Berry, "but would you like something to eat? You seem hungry."

Rapidash had a good idea of what the girl was planning. _No Pokémon of her own? I see... she's trying to lull me into a false sense of security by offering me food. Clever tactic... it's just like what visitors would do back home to try and catch my kind._

_I've had my fun, and she's not being _too_ deceptive. I'll play her game for now. If any of them double-cross me, or if I tire of them, I can always run away._

/-/-/

Akyuu's smile widened when the horse came closer to her and took a few bites from the offered watermelon slice. She reached up with her free hand and tentatively patted the creature's muzzle. "There we go," she intoned. "That should hit the spot."

Now that the horse was right in front of her, Akyuu noticed something out of the ordinary. The beast's mane and tail flickered and burned, and she should have felt uncomfortable merely by standing near it; but there was no extreme sensation of heat or incineration. _I have to wonder... it was able to sneak up on us without any of noticing... so is it able to reduce the temperature of its flames somehow? Can it alter its properties in some way to make the fires... burn less? Make them harmless to touch?_

_I don't understand, but protesting will not get me anywhere. I'll have to decide where to go from here, and quickly. I only have so much time to work with._

Most of the watermelon slice was gone. Still smiling and acting jovial on the whole, Akyuu began her walk back to the village gates while continuing to offer the horse food. The beast followed alongside, taking occasional bites of fruit, and before too long they had reached Gensokyo's center of civilization.

/-/-/

"How do you like that," Leonard groused as the trio followed from a safe distance. "I go to all the trouble of packing traps and survival equipment, and _this_ happens. I should have packed me a pretty girl instead."

"Which reminds me. Where's your daughter?" Martin asked bluntly. "I haven't seen her here in a long time."

"I said a _pretty_ girl," was Leonard's rebuttal. "I told her that if she ends her life with warts and green skin, it's on _her_ head. And the rest of her, too. She's not marrying anyone looking like that, even if I decided to carry magic trinkets at the store. _That_ was a load off my back."

Pie made a face, disgusted, and Martin had to agree. "That ugly, huh?"

"Like the inside of a pig's nostril, but more contagious."

"That's ridiculous. You've seen the inside of a pig's nose?"

"Yes, but I had to quit if I wanted to save my bacon. Everyone thought I was chewing the scenery, when I was never hamming things up at all."

"You were accused of hogging the spotlight?"

"You catch on quick, Martin."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Darkrai's moveset: Dream Eater, Dark Void, Faint Attack, Nightmare

Approximate level: 85

**Alice's Notes**: To humans, youkai are nightmarish creatures. Even I, one who associates with humans of my own free will, can be frightening if sufficiently angered. But as the expression goes, there's always a bigger fish... I confess, seeing my assailant for the first time scared me on some level. Which makes me wonder: as the dark monster fled, I could feel its fear and anger... not at me for ordering it out, but at something else. Eirin Yagokoro suggested that maybe it attacked my subconscious out of self-defense, but what could've scared such a force enough to do so? And do I dare to seek the answer to that question?

/-/-/-/

Rapidash's moveset: Agility, Flame Wheel, Fury Attack, Bounce

Approximate level: 45

**Akyuu's Notes:** Thanks to Marisa's ghost familiar, we now have a name for the horse. We also know that "Rapidash" has been looking for a worthy human to lead it for some time now, which its new owner undoubtedly fits; but we are still in the dark as to how to develop its abilities... but speaking of, the farmer delivered a bagful of unknown items to me while I was meeting with someone. Could they be clues, perhaps? A request for Kourindou's owner to come here might be in order.


	5. Never Mock The Cookie

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

**Chapter Four Point Five**

By: Curtis Wildcat

"One _more_ thing...!" - Uncle, _Jackie Chan Adventures_

/-/-/-/-/-/

An author, a librarian and a clown walk into a bar... eh, skip it. That's not how the joke goes, anyway.

Patchouli and the others at the Mansion had come to the consensus that if they had seen these 'Pokémon' in the Forest and other outlying areas, doubtless the villagers had their share of experiences too. She had met Hieda-san once before, and while she was prejudiced against youkai she was still an easy human to deal with. "Working with them would be to our benefit," the magician had told Remilia, "and it would serve to make the information we've gathered widely known. We do not need to keep anything worthwhile to ourselves."

And so it was that Patchouli had volunteered to meet with Hieda-san, intent on offering her a proposal: to combine the resources of human and youkai alike.

She hadn't imagined that she would become irritated before the meeting even began, though. Upon arriving and making known her intentions, she was greeted by a smiling man in a top hat. The clown- - -Patchouli had a hard time thinking of him as anything else- - -then escorted her inside and served her tea straight from his coat.

If Patchouli hadn't thought he was odd before, what happened next convinced her that he was bonkers: the man reached out to her, arms outstretched as if he wanted to take her in his arms. Not wanting any of that, she drifted and darted just out of his grasp thrice before finally snapping off a few wood element bullets right over his head. The message was clear: _Stop chasing me or else._ The man was visibly disappointed, but seemed to accept it with good humor.

The key word, though, was 'seemed'.

Some months ago, after one of Marisa's thefts, Reimu had successfully broken a seal on one of the librarian's tomes; Patchouli had silently acknowledged afterword that there was a weakness in having all of her knowledge come from books, as the method for removing the seal was nowhere to be found in the library. Similarly, for everything that she learned over the course of her life, Patchouli had comparatively little experience with social interactions (beyond those with whom she dealt with daily). Neither her research nor her recreational reading had prepared her for any personal dealings with the oddities of the male mind.

No sooner had she sat down again and turned her back to him than Patchouli felt an unfamiliar weight on her head. She reached her hand up and removed whatever it was, seeing the man's hat. Frowning, she turned and handed it back to him. "Any particular reason for this?"

The only answer she was given was a loud "honnnk" from the horn the man was carrying. Patchouli was not impressed. "Who are you? And why don't you speak?"

Again the main said nothing, only smiling and offering her hat back to her... _**What?**_ _Please tell me he didn't..._ She patted the top of her head, finding nothing. _He did._ Grabbing her cap and putting it back where it belonged, Patchouli glared at him. "I didn't do anything to you. Quit annoying me."

The man drew lines in the air, whistling with each one.

"Well, yes. Youkai aren't _supposed_ to be hugged by strangers. It kills any credibility they have," Patchouli said. "I shot at you for my own safety."

A door on the other side of the room slid open, admitting Akyuu. "I apologize for the wait. Is Pie-san troubling you?" she asked as she walked in and sat down.

Patchouli met her eyes, nodding in greeting. "Not _too_ much, but he _is_ rather wonky..." She trailed off as that weight settled on her head again. "Quit it, you," she bit out, smacking the top hat back off her head.

Pie retrieved his hat, but just as quickly displaced Patchouli's cap from its sitting place. This elicited a growl from the youkai magician. "Retrieve it and put it back. My patience is wearing thin, and I would like to finish my business _before_ my friend wakes up."

Pie complied with her wish, if 'taking the cap and stacking it atop the first one' was what it meant to comply with something.

Akyuu hid her mouth with her kimono's sleeve so that no one could see her grin. "Behave yourself, Pie-san. You are in the presence of Patchouli Knowledge; please don't anger her. Your prowess in magical combat comes nowhere close to matching hers."

Patchouli was pleased to see the clown's mouth drop open in shock. Contritely, he deposited the hat- - -_both_ of them- - -atop her cranium, making the pleasure evaporate into nothing.

/-/-/-/-/

A fuzzy black and white title card, a fancy border decorating the upper and lower edges, appeared. The words "Eighty Seconds Later" were stenciled across the middle. A snippet from Scott Joplin's Magnetic Rag regaled the readers for all of five seconds before the card disappeared forever, returning them to the work in progress.

/-/-/-/-/

"I'm glad you remember me," the youkai magician said, swiping her cap back and placing it on her head with an 'and that's _final'_ air. "We spoke once before when you were working on your latest compilation."

There was a quiet sound of metal sliding against metal. Patchouli turned her head, seeing Pie smiling and waving innocently from behind her. Still suspicious of him but waiting for an answer from Akyuu, she sat down and refocused her attention on the author.

Akyuu didn't seem to mind the distraction. "Yes, I recall you just fine. What is it you want to speak to me about?"

"It's about these animals... these 'Pokémon', I'm told they're called."

"'Pokémon'...?"

"Yes. They're the talk of the village, and we've been meeting up with them at the Mansion ourselves. Reactions have ranged from indignant to delighted, and their existence is a complete mystery. In light of these developments, I'm proposing that we combine our resources."

Another metallic noise. Patchouli again regarded Pie; the marksman clown was nibbling at some onigiri. She suspected that he was hiding something in his pocket- - -...

"By combining our resources, you mean...?" Akyuu asked, successfully holding back her smile at Pie's antics.

"Nothing less than a guide as to what they are and how to handle them." Patchouli dismissed Pie out of her mind, sipping her tea. He was more annoying than dangerous, anyway, and had decided that the best way to deal with him would be to not encourage him. "I've secured Marisa Kirisame's services in this regard; the Pokémon with her is a telepath, capable of translating their speech for our benefit..."

"Excuse me, Patchouli-san?" Akyuu interrupted, drinking from her own share of tea.

"...What is it, Hieda-san?"

"You wouldn't have met anyone named 'Leonard' by some chance, have you?"

"No, I haven't." Patchouli frowned. "...Why?"

Akyuu folded her arms, huffing. "I've had enough recent dealings with the Kirisame family to last me the rest of this life. I will help you with this 'guide', but I'd much rather that _you_ worked with Marisa."

Patchouli stared into her tea, mood edging towards disappointment. "I see... is this 'Leonard' you speak of really that problematic?" She raised the cup to her lips and took another sip.

"With good reason," Akyuu affirmed. "He's Marisa's father."

"...! Mmmph! Mu- - -!" Patchouli almost choked on her tea. After a few seconds she was able to work it down, shaking off both Akyuu and Pie's attempts to help her, and she stared at the former with her eyes narrowed. "Marisa's _father._ I don't believe it. That means that some poor woman actually _birthed_ her. And here I thought people with her qualities spontaneously came into being out of- - -"

The librarian never finished her sentence. A noisy high-pitched whinny, and the repeated thuds of hooves hitting the floor, interrupted her. A new arrival barged uninvited into the room: the fire-maned horse that Akyuu's team had set out to catch. The equine slowed down, stepping lightly around the low table before halting.

Akyuu recognized the man that sat atop the horse. He was the farmer that had requested a chance to tame said beast, and he seemed to have done a decent job of it in such a short time (although it _was_ noted to be rather docile in nature). He was unconventional for a villager, wearing boots, brown pants, suspenders and nothing else. Tough-looking, too, and he had a mustache to die for; no one in their right mind dared to cross him. As everyone stared at him, the chronicler thought for sure that she heard a guitar playing in the background somewhere.

The farmer didn't linger long. He passed a small bag of unfamiliar items to Akyuu, nodded once at Pie, then tugged lightly on the horse's reins. With a whinny, the horse whirled around and exited the room at full gallop.

Hands trembling, Patchouli stared Akyuu in the eyes; there was something not quite right about her expression. "Since when... do you humans... walk about... in broad daylight... like that?" she whispered, her breathing becoming increasingly labored. Her face, too, was a bright shade of red.

"No one knows why he does that," Akyuu informed her, sweatdropping. "He just showed up one day and started working the fields like he had always been there. We know he's from the outside, but he's never talked about himself or his ways. Or about anything else, for that matter."

Pie honked his horn once, nodding. Patchouli looked back at him, then at Akyuu. "You mean to say that... full time he goes around like...?"

A nod from Akyuu, and another honk from Pie.

"Hieda-san... can I ask you a favor...?"

"As long as it isn't important. What do you need?" Akyuu didn't mind working with youkai on a professional basis, but she always remained leery of them on the whole.

Thankfully the request wouldn't be difficult to carry out. "...I don't mean to impose... but I am not feeling as good as I had been five minutes ago... Do you have someplace where I could lie down?"

"Honnnkkk."

_"_And for crying out loud_... get him to shut that stupid thing up!"_

/-/

...

After she woke up later, Patchouli realized that her hat's crescent moon was missing.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

**Author's Note**

And today's life lesson is this: get a full night's sleep. Otherwise, your imagination goes on vacation without leaving you a note.


	6. Intermission 1

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

**Intermission #1**

By: Curtis Wildcat

Pokémon and the Touhou Project are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders.

In answer to the question posed by Gray Shadow: Yes.

Anyway, for those that read the previous one and half chapters, I confess: I'm sure most of you who know anything about comedy guessed correctly, but Leonard, Martin and Pie were meant to be the Marx Brothers (Groucho, Chico and Harpo respectively). Not the actors themselves, of course, but closer to the sort of characters they played in the films.

...

And no, I haven't eschewed the story's plot in favor of a crack fic conversion. Of that much you can be assured.

As for this, I figured you all deserved a break after an onslaught of wordplay and slapstick (and so do I, in light of a recent cold), so here's something shorter and plenty more peaceful (er, sort of). Sit back and relax.

/-/-/-/-/

"...Your brain is damaged. There's no explanation for it."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"The black thing you've got on your head, stupid. What is _that_ supposed to be?"

"Oh, this is my new hat. Not that I care, but what do you think?"

Kaguya had been bored that night, and she'd walked around Eientei in a vain search for something to do. Seeing Reisen's little friend Swift minding her own business, she'd picked her up and placed the struggling inaba-like animal on her head. Mokou, intent on picking another fight with the exiled princess, had shown up a few minutes later.

And if the guffaws were anything to go by, Mokou didn't approve of the latest fashion in Gensokyo.

"Come on! This is the heaviest headwear I've ever worn! Give me _some_ credit for ingenuity!"

"Kaguya, if you walked around in public like that, I'd pay to see their reactions!" Mokou grinned and folded her arms. "There's nothing ingenius about that, trust me."

"_Sure_ it's ingenius!" Kaguya reached up, picked up Swift, and held it out towards Mokou. "This little rabbit here's a vicious beast. Careful, or it'll nibble your face off- - -OW!"

Having had enough of this treatment, Swift reached down and bit Kaguya's hand, prompting a quick release. Landing safely on all fours, the Umbreon sneered at her before retreating to the door.

Mokou smirked. "Are you done embarrassing yourself yet? You know why I'm here, so let's get to it."

"Tch... fine." Kaguya patted her hand, wincing but deciding that the miniscule ache was better off ignored. "You're the reason why I'm bored, after all." She plucked a jewelled branch from her sleeve as she took to the air.

Mokou's smirk turned a few levels more dangerous. "So dependent on our eternal struggle? Just keep ticking me off, then!" she yelled as she got some altitude. A searing birdlike aura manifested itself around her, and the space between her and Kaguya was permeated with fire and shining bullets.

From the safety of Eientei's doors, Swift watched with nervous awe as the two immortal beings dueled.

/-/-/-/-/

**(BGM - Outlaw Star OST - **_**Tsuki No Ie**_**)**

Facing south at the very top of Flandre's room was a tiny window, small enough that she could not fit through it. With its location and with the landscaping that was done outside, the chances of any sunlight actually shining down into the room were next to none. She was quietly thankful for the window, for without it she would not be able to follow the passage of time past the clock tower's nightly ringing.

She knew it was now night time. The entertaining little fairy maid assigned to her was asleep outside her door. Meiling would be keeping her eyes open for intruders. Sakuya would be bustling about, caring for the Mansion and her big sister's needs (_Doesn't she ever sleep?_, Flandre wondered for the thousandth time). Speaking of Remilia, she would probably be sitting outside beneath the stars or lounging in the library, enjoying a fine cup of tea and conversation with Patchouli. Around here, there was constant activity during the night... and she always wished she could be a part of it.

Leaning on the windowsill with one elbow and staring up at the stars, Flandre listened to life: the light breathing of Skarmory, nesting in the remains of a destroyed dresser in one corner of the room; the bugs and other night creatures that populated the garden outside, and the haphazard attempts of Sakuya's staff as they did their job to the best of their lackluster ability. More than five centuries after she was turned, the younger Scarlet still felt confident that someday her exile to this room would come to a permanent end. She wanted to play tag and duel against Skarmory, Reimu and Marisa beneath the pale moonlight, take piano lessons and create her own little theme song... even help Sakuya occasionally with the cleaning, just to prove she was willing to try.

Big plans, they were, and there was no guarantee that they would ever come to pass. But as the saying went, all you have to do is dream.

/-/-/-/-/

Blaziken stood alone atop a boulder twice its size, gazing up at the same starfield.

The fire-type Pokémon had recognized a kindred spirit in that red-haired human (or whatever she was), the same kind of spirit that he had seen in Zanthia back when he was still a Torchic. Every morning since they had first fought, he would visit the guard and challenge her to a fight; just because he didn't know where he was, that was no excuse for slacking off. He had taken a break from its personal training to consider the improvements he had made as a result of these duels, and a stray glance at the sky reminded him that these were not the same stars he was accustomed to seeing.

There were none of the familiar patterns and constellations that his trainer liked to point out. There was no Rayquaza, no Poké Ball, no Onix, Mightyena fangs or Power Bracer. It was all very mysterious to him, as he didn't have the kind of mind that could consider the mysteries of the universe for hours on end. All he could comprehend was that he was far from home, snatched from the ground he'd stood on by an unrelenting rainbow grip. It was disrespectful to the fighting-type for such a thing to be done to him, and he hated it.

Sitting down on the boulder, Blaziken continued watching the sky. He wondered what Zanthia was up to at the moment, and hoped that she was doing well.

/-/-/-/-/

Swiftly recovering with the aid of Eirin's medicine and the dark Pokémon nowhere to be found, Alice slept peacefully. No outside force disturbed her this night.

Elsewhere in the Forest of Magic, Marisa too was in a deep slumber. Mismagius flitted around the house, obeying her new master's last order to protect it; this was misleading on the magician's part, as she really wanted the "ghost hat" to leave her alone for the night's duration.

/-/-/-/-/

The village was at peace as its residents rested from their labors. Since it was not yet a full moon, this also applied to Keine. Only Akyu was still awake, ink brush in hand as she penned her thoughts on the Pokémon she'd met so far.

Like all the other (non-immortal) humans in Gensokyo, Reimu had purchased an all-night passage to Dream Land. Her rest was peaceful, for she had known from the start that the shrine's newest protector was there to watch over her and alert her to danger.

Outside the shrine, its head and limbs retracted inside its shell, Blastoise snored on.

/-/-/-/-/

It was growing. Slowly, at that, but it was growing.

Whether it was caused by the gratuitous sunlight available in the Garden of the Sun or something else, Yuuka had detected signs of an increasing strength in her sentient plant. It was hopping about a hair quicker, and its Master Spark-esque energy beam- - -Yuuka had taken to calling it the "Sun Spark" for simplicity- - -had just a little more power. The leaves it would throw about in self-defense were sharper, just a smidgen. It would take a very long time before it reached its full strength, but that was alright with the Flower Master: she had nothing but time to work with.

Yuuka now had someone to talk to on her walks who was agreeable in all sorts of ways. She was beginning to make some headway in understanding the plant's words, its speech entering her realm of comprehension. She learned several things about it: when it wasn't taking in sunlight or absorbing water and nutrients from the Garden's soil, it had a preference for dry food. Also, it and the large mantis she'd seen from time to time spoke the same language, disregarding the different speech patterns; she'd ascertained this from the brief greetings they'd exchanged the last time they'd crossed paths. It was all very intriguing to her.

Now, reclining on her bed at Mugenkan, Yuuka pondered two objects that occupied the space next to her. The first was a recent issue of the Bunbunmaru, the same one that- - -unbeknownst to Yuuka- - -had gotten Alice's attention. The other was a peculiar orange rock that had caught her eye while she'd roamed the Garden...

/-/-/-/-/

When the humans are away, the youkai will play.

Somewhere far away from civilization, squeals and childish giggling echoed in the night. This batch of youkai (plus one yousei) had little in common, save that they had been brushed aside by Reimu so easily in combat. One by one, they had met up with each other over the years and decided that hanging out wasn't a bad idea. Tonight, they had come together to duel and play the hours away; they would be dog tired by morning, but since they were supposed to be nocturnal anyway that was fine with them.

Sitting on a sturdy tree branch, Ran and Creampuff watched as Chen darted around the foliage. Her fleetness of foot enabled her to evade everything that Wriggle Nightbug and Cirno were shooting at her. Rumia and Mystia, out of the game for some reason or another, cheered them all on.

The acrobatic Chen cartwheeled, somersaulted, and flipped around a prolonged barrage and- - -after about fifteen shots flew wide- - - pegged Wriggle with a fist-sized bullet; the firefly youkai pouted and rubbed her forehead, but accepted her loss and flew off to the side. There was no anger to be had here, and they knew it.

Ran saw Creampuff's mouth open and close repeatedly, and she smiled at his incredulity. _I can tell by looking at him. He wants to be capable of those same feats, to experience the freedom that only flight can bring. Ah, such youth._ She cupped her chin in thought, now ignoring the game in progress beneath her. _I wonder..._

/-/-/-/-/

...

"..."

...

A tiny hand slowly turning the pages of a library book.

The half-lidded stare of the relentless.

...

"..."

...

_Thump._

Well, _almost_ relentless.

"Um, Miss Librarian? Your daughter's fallen asleep in the books again... shouldn't she be put to bed by now?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

_Author's Message:_ I've been distracted by the Teen Titans, amongst other things, so be patient with me as regards the next chapter. Until then, ciao mein, everyone.


	7. Kanako, Cirno

**MONSTERS IN PARADISE**

**Chapter Five**

By: Curtis Wildcat

Pokémon and the Touhou Project are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders.

To answer the anonymous reviewer: No. And in the future, if those of you reviewing anonymously have any questions, would you be willing to just wait and see whether your question is answered in the fanfic? I just don't feel comfortable replying to people's reviews in the chapter itself when that space could be devoted to telling the story. Thank you.

Those of you who hate 100-degree weather, perpetual tiredness and repeated distractions, raise your hands. ...I thought so. Anyway, find the reference to Simcity 2000 and treat yourself to a candy bar.

/-/-/-/

Sanae was bored. Bored, irritated, and cranky.

She was seated in the room set aside for her in the Moriya shrine, an old book in her hands. It had been one of her possessions that she had been able to take with her to Gensokyo, albeit not one that she particularly liked; her associates had long ago given it to her, and only their insistance that it would somehow be "important" had kept her from burning it immediately. Just a short time before, Kanako and Suwako had decided that the time had come for her to study it, to remind herself of things that she had forgotten.

But Sanae had forgotten those things for a reason. _I don't want to know any of this!_ she mentally complained. _I was happy when we left the outside behind and came to Gensokyo. It meant that I didn't have to deal with that gargantuan franchise that my classmates liked so much, their endless yammering about it, their __**obsession**__. It's just... it's just not me!_

But the truth was that she had no choice in the matter. She was devoted to Kanako, and if the goddess felt that there was something worthwhile to be had in this endeavor, then so be it. And it hadn't been a suggestion for her to read this book; it was an _order._ The franchise had finally followed them into Gensokyo, and it had done so in a way that left no doubt: It was the real deal.

"If I ever meet the person responsible for this," Sanae promised darkly, "he's going to _need_ a miracle to escape his well-deserved beatdown."

"Or 'her', case depending," Suwako's voice added from outside the room.

The human goddess chuckled uneasily.

/-/-/-/

**-A Couple Nights Ago-**

/-/-/-/

All was quiet on the home front. Sanae was asleep, tired from a long day of working and dealing with the tengu. The news hounds- - -more specifically, Aya and later Hatate- - -had both insisted on getting the trio's opinions on the newcomers to Gensokyo. Suwako had directed the questions to Kanako both times; Kanako, in turn, claimed that it "would build character" and passed the buck to Sanae. By the end of it all, the group's only human (or as close as it got considering her status, anyway) was frazzled and wondering aloud why she was being pressed about creatures that didn't exist.

Kanako personally didn't understand what all the fuss was about. Sure, there was that backlash about the seizures, and the discontinuity that seemed to have fallen into place regarding one of the supposed perpetrators. Yes, a few of those that actually visited the shrine on the outside had been die-hard fans of the series, and kept running their mouths when they didn't know who'd been listening in. And okay, maybe some of her charge's classmates in school were the same way. Still, she didn't think that Sanae was being entirely fair to the newcomers. If something akin to that Hisoutensoku deal from a while back appeared in Gensokyo, she would have been positively thrilled.

Anyway, Kanako had yet to actually meet one of these Pokémon for herself. She had remained on top of the mountain for most of the week, thoughts in motion tending to stay in motion. Some of those thoughts after the meetings with the tengu had turned to ideas for faith gathering, using the Pokémon as a means to an end. During a group meeting, Suwako had seen things a bit differently and expressed a need for caution, warning that the Pokémon might take offense if they felt they were being used wrongly; it wasn't likely that they had the same hierarchy as humans or youkai, being a different sort of lifeform altogether. They'd finally agreed to look into things more closely before taking action. Sanae... not so much, as she vehemently continued to deny the creatures' existence.

In the mood for some relaxation, Suwako was now gliding about the Wind God's Lake. Hovering just four centimeters over the lake as she flew, occasionally her foot would reach down and make waves by skimming the surface. She'd tried spelling out the characters in her name this way, but the waves always settled down before they could show anything legible.

"You pick the oddest times to try that," Kanako called out as she hovered near the shoreline. "It isn't like anyone is around to watch you."

"Yes, but then I'd be busy maintaining my image as a dignified elder goddess!" Suwako returned, swinging her arms about in a steady rhythm. Each time, her sleeves came within a hair's breadth of touching the water.

Kanako shook her head, the corners of her lips twitching upwards. "You're the size of the village children, and you're behaving like a crazed aerobics instructor. If it weren't for the power you emit, no one would know that you _were_ an elder goddess."

"'Crazed aerobics instructor'? Take that back!" Suwako huffed. "I'm not crazed, just unusual!"

"Fine, fine." Kanako waved her off. "Whatever floats your boat. Me? I have some thinking to do about- - -"

A vibration in the water and air cut her off. Another one shook the vicinity, then another. Suwako decelerated and stopped, righting herself and examining the water's surface with an odd look on her face. Kanako opened her mouth, intent on asking the smaller goddess what was going on...

Reality rumbled around them, rattling the air molecules like sugar being shaken in a glass container. A marble curtain was shredded with unbelievable force, clattering to the floor in tatters. The simile and metaphor both served to describe the sensations that the both of them felt as the lake rippled and trembled. Being airborne did not prevent the need to keep themselves balanced.

"_Ennh...! What the...?!_ What's this power I'm feeling...?!_"_ Suwako's eyes were unaturally wide as she made tracks- - -or plowed through the air, rather- - -towards the shoreline, waves shooting off to the sides as she went. Inwardly, it almost felt as if she were treading quicksand.

Kanako summoned her onbashira to her, teeth gritted. _"_Suwako... something is very wrong...! I hope you're ready; if this gets nasty, then you'd better wake up Sanae!"

"If she sleeps through _this,_ I'm thinking we need to reconsider her workload!"

They needn't have worried about rousing her. The sensations gradually eased off, and reality's upset stomach stopped complaining; all was calm once more. The Wind God's Lake was as quiet as it had ever been, with the only sign of its discontent being the waves that splashed and receded against the shoreline.

Suwako, no longer feeling bogged down, allowed a confused glance at Kanako. "...You know as much about this as I do. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"The calm before the storm, as people say." Kanako folded her arms, staring hard at the lake's surface. She made no move to discard the onbashira. "There would not have been this much of a ruckus without _something_ resulting from it. That power shook us to the core, Suwako, something that should not have happened unless the source of it was magnificent beyond the mortal mind."

"Hmmm..."

Experimentally, Suwako summoned a trio of large boulders from the shoreline and hurled them into the Lake. Sitting down in her favored froglike position, she watched as the rocks sunk lower...

...and lower...

...and lower...

...and lower...

...until the muffled sound of earth thudding against something reached her ears...

_**"HWAAAAAAAA-RHHHHRRRRRRR!"**_

...and the Wind God's Lake started to churn. Faster and faster it went, swirling around violently and splashing water into the faces of the Moriya Shrine's co-goddesses. They ignored it, watching as the lake was transformed into a gigantic whirlpool with nothing but the beastly scream as a catalyst.

Lightning flashed and thunder clapped in the near distance, and Suwako blinked as she felt several raindrops strike her hands. "Huh?" She looked up, seeing thick rainclouds form over the mountain. "Kanako, did you have anything to do with this?" she asked as the skies poured rain onto their heads.

She knew the answer even before Kanako replied to her. "Not a thing. Whatever is happening, our visitor here is the cause of it." The taller goddess raised her hand towards the air, her powers at work; the downpour did not stop altogether, but lessened enough that it would not hinder their flight or damage the shrine. The clouds expanded, then dispersed as the storm spread out across Gensokyo.

Feet repeatedly struck the ground nearby as Sanae rushed over to join them, trying in vain to keep the rain out of her eyes. "Kanako-sama! Suwako-sama! What's going on here? What did you do?"

"Oh, sure," Suwako muttered. "Blame us."

"I-I didn't mean it quite like that," Sanae hastily apologized. "But what's happening? What's- - -"

_**"HWAAAAAA-RHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRR!"**_

"- - -...that?" she finished meekly.

It took an agonizing half minute before the monstrous beast finally rose from the center of the whirlpool, but rise it did, with all the flash and thunder that they expected of a legendary deity in physical form. The appearance was completely different from what- - -or _whom_- - -they had expected, but the fury with which it had arrived and its apparently short temper made Kanako wonder aloud: "Suwako, does this feel at all like Ryujin's power to you?"

"It's not," Sanae bit out coldly. She turned and paced back and forth. "This is nothing like Ryujin."

_**"HWAAA-RHHHRR! ...HWWWAAAA-RRRHHHHRR!"**_

"Aaaand you'd know this _how?_" Suwako inquired, wondering why she was so sure of this.

"They were right. The tengu were right! Lugia is here! Lugia... is... here... in Gensokyo!" Sanae fumed, outright ignoring the goddess's question. Raising her voice, she stopped where she was and screamed at the storm clouds: "In the name of the entire Shinto pantheon, _please tell me you're kidding!"_

Kanako and Suwako's sweatdrops were washed away by the rain...

_**"HWA-RHRRRRR!"**_

And the goddesses almost followed suit. As the Pokémon was too angry to tell who or what it was attacking, Lugia's Hydro Pump almost drowned them above ground. The width of the attack was more than twice as wide as Lugia's mouth, and the storm served to increase its strength and density even further. The trio were not about to sit still and let the Hydro Pump hit them, though, and they split off in three directions. Scant millimeters were all that separated them from a watery smackdown, the blast instead washing away a substantial amount of sand, rock and gravel.

With the battle now joined, the Moriya group decided to deal swift retribution. They had been attacked at their own home by a (supposedly) fictional menace; unlike Reimu and Marisa's actions years before, there was nothing truly harmless about what Lugia had just done. It came dealing rage, and it would receive rage in return.

Suwako struck from the left, alternating between watery sprays from her mouth- - -their power doubling in strength from the storm, like the Hydro Pump before it- - -and materialized boulders. As Lugia screamed and swiped at her with its wing, forcing her to stop what she was doing and scoot backwards, Kanako swooped in from the right. A storm of thick lasers, representative of onbashira, kept Lugia temporarily immobilized while a blistering barrage of talismans from Sanae assailed it from the front. By sustaining this triple-pronged attack, they hoped to finish this quickly and decisively.

_**"HWAAAAAAAA-RHHHHRRRRRRR!"**_

"...?"

Something about that roar made Kanako flinch, and she stopped firing for just a second. That was all the distraction that Lugia needed. Ignoring the rocks and talismans that continued to pound it, it reared back its head and opened its mouth...

/-/-/

The whites of her eyes were as wide as saucers, whereas her pupils were tinier than pencil tips. Tension mounted in her heart and lungs as the winds gathered, and her arms stiffened as she tried to sustain her attack. She knew now that Lugia cared not one whit for Gensokyo's way of life, and dread in its purest form had Sanae in its grip. There are so many ways that the phrase "oh, dear" can be conveyed, and lots of them could have been expressed in the second it took Lugia to charge up its attack, but Sanae was not going to argue about how to tell of her terror. She didn't need to.

Before she could so much as shout "Aeroblast!", it was already on its way. Those rocks, talismans and lasers that were nearest were scattered and disintegrated in the face of a tightly compressed tornado. Sanae was clipped by the 300-kilometer-an-hour winds; she spun off course and plunged into the lake, temporarily blacking out on impact and getting caught in the whirlpool left in Lugia's wake. Suwako was able to evade the Aeroblast as it swept towards her, but on seeing Sanae's plight she immediately dove down to save her.

This left Kanako. Lugia took a few moments to breathe, still simmering in the boiling water of its anger... _**"HWAAA-RHHRR!"**_ ...then let fly with another Aeroblast right at her face.

The goddess's lips twitched, making the transition from a wondering frown to a soft smile. "I know not where your child is, mighty one..." Putting the faith that others had in her to good use, she subconsciously strengthened herself; no tornado, with or without magic, would break her defenses. "...But I can assure you..." With both hands she caught the edges of the Aeroblast, its rampaging circulation not budging her one measly millimeter. "...That your anger, while justified, _is directed the wrong way."_

Sweeping her arms to her sides, no longer noticing the assault she'd been warding off, she tore the Aeroblast cleanly in half. The winds that comprised the attack broke apart and dispersed, stunning Lugia and rocking it back long enough for Kanako to get into its face. It recoiled, not having expecting her to attempt a melee attack, and flinching as she brought her power to bear...

/-/-/

"Calm yourself, mighty one."

/-/-/

But Kanako didn't attack, not using her mastery over the winds and rain to assault her opponent. Instead, the fog around Lugia's mind lifted, and she saw the blue-haired woman for what she was: a divine presence, able to soothe and defend just as easily as she could attack. _**"Hwaa-rhrrr..."**_ the Pokémon rumbled, realizing that this woman and her friends could not possibly have taken her child away.

At the same time, Lugia was conflicted. If they hadn't kidnapped her child- - -Silver, as she recalled that young human calling it once- - -then who did? Where was it? More to the point, where was she? Dimly she heard her other two attackers shout something as they charged back up from the lake, only to stop short as Kanako explained the situation to them. The green-haired one looked ready to bite metal, but reluctantly kept herself from shooting off more of those strange sheets of paper.

Kanako must have sensed Lugia's unease. "You are troubled," she intoned, her power still clearly felt. "That is no secret. I am Kanako Yasaka, co-goddess of the Moriya Shrine. Now what seems to be the problem, I wonder?"

For the first time that she could remember, as not even those children who had helped protect Silver had earned this great an honor, Lugia fully opened up her mind to this woman and her associates in the hopes that they could help her. Kanako frowned as the images crossed her mind, the deep-voiced speech accompanying them telling her of the wicked strength that separated her from her child. The small one with the strange hat narrowed her eyes as she learned of Lugia's violent retaliation, struggling valiently against whoever brought her here but no avail. Their charge, the most aggressive of the three, only began to reconsider her stance when she was told that Silver still was not full grown; he was ill-prepared to deal with the world at large, and had already been in danger _once_ from thieves, so the Pokémon was afraid of what might happen while she was absent.

The trio in turn told Lugia what they knew of Gensokyo, carefully explaining to her that she had been transported across worlds. The culprit likely had no benevolent motives in doing this, as it felt like their essences were being violently shaken while the move was in progress. It wasn't hard to understand once they elaborated on it, since Lugia herself had once been revered as a god. In any event, everything that was happening did not sit well with her.

_**"I have to go home,"**_ Lugia stated bluntly. _**"That much is obvious."**_

"The question is 'how'," Suwako informed her. "None of us know a way to send you home, and even if we did, there's still that mysterious force to consider. If it found you once, it may find you again."

"_**I can not remain still. Anyone who would dare take me away from my child must be dealt with appropriately!"**_ Lugia screamed, the waters below her crashing against the rocks in response to her psychic cry.

"And we understand that." Kanako held up a hand. "But lashing out angrily and aimlessly will accomplish nothing. Not only will you not get to where you want to go, but you may end up endangering the lives of the mountain's inhabitants. We have to think this through."

"We could ask around," Sanae suggested reluctantly. "There's no shortage of magicians and such in Gensokyo. Maybe they could send her home if they found something of use." Some of her old fury returned, something which almost made Suwako try to hold her back. "I'm not bringing this up because I like you. I don't want you here any more than you want to be here. You understand?"

_**"...If you feel that you will accomplish something by your methods... then fine,"**_ Lugia conceded as she made her final decision. _**"But I can not wait forever for a solution to present itself. I must return underwater, for only by hibernation can I pass the time appropriately and regain my strength. If you do not have something for me by the time I rouse myself..."**_ She forsook her telepathy and roared in Kanako's face, blasting her hair straight out behind her.

"...Right. Consider your warning received," Kanako acquiesced, ignoring Suwako's quiet giggling.

Lugia had no further words for them. Sharply diving down, it plunged into the center of the whirlpool it had arisen from. Almost as if it could sense her quieting mental state and desire to sleep, the lake's agitation put itself into reverse.

/-/-/-/-/-/

At last the whirlpool created by Lugia's screams ceased to be, and the Wind God's Lake became steadily calmer as the legendary Pokémon settled into her promised sleep. The water was still choppy in a few places, as if to remind the goddesses once again that she would reawaken if they didn't make good on their promise, but then the only disturbance left was the rain that pounded the surface. It would take a little while longer before the clouds were cleared from the sky.

The trio was quiet for some time as they observed the lake, not caring if the rain soaked them. Kanako and Suwako were both concerned at Lugia's presence in their home, curious as to the sort of higher power that could displace such a force. Sanae, although still displeased from having fallen into the water (and her subsequent revival by Suwako), privately wondered what would become of Lugia's child without its mother to protect it; a slight twinge was all that betrayed her worry.

"Sanae."

The human goddess faced down at Suwako. "Yes, Suwako-sama?"

"I seem to recall there being a colorful book amongst your keepsakes from the outside." The smaller of the duo smiled over at Kanako, winking. "A guide to these... Pokémon. Tomorrow morning, I want you to find it."

"Certainly, Suwako-sama," Sanae agreed, quick to support her in any way she could. "I was wanting to destroy it anyway. I can take care of that before my morning chores, if you'd like."

Kanako smirked as she understood what Suwako had requested. "Not quite. With these Pokémon out and about, and with one right here on top of Youkai Mountain, the situation calls for drastic measures. Knowledge is the name of the game, Sanae. I want you to sit in your room, take the guidebook..._and read it."_

Lightning flashed, illuminating Sanae's gobsmacked face.

_"WHAAAAATTTTT?!"_

_**-GAP-**_

**Present Time**

_**-GAP-**_

After picking up Midori from the Pokémon Center the following morning and having her breakfast there, Yukari mulled over the options available to her.

According to the map in her possession, going straight west from Mauville would take her to Verdanturf Town. Not far away was a tunnel that would take her within a day's walking distance from Rustboro City. Her second choice was another western route situated somewhere between Mauville and Slateport City; it dead-ended at a river, but that was nothing for her to worry about. Once across, all she needed to do was journey straight south to Littleroot Town and the license she could obtain there.

The second route seemed the most optimal in her opinion... at least at first. There were several problems that Yukari would have to deal with, though; first, there were plenty of areas along the route where wild Pokémon and the battle-obsessed could ambush her. Much of it could be skipped via a secondary road, but that led to the second problem: it could only be accessed if she owned a bicycle.

And she, who had lived for who-knows-how-many centuries, watched humanity for ages, accumulated wisdom and experience that few beings alive could hope to match, did what she pleased and went wherever she wanted, had never learned how to ride one.

Yukari picked at the remains of her breakfast, irritated at this lack of foresight. Sure, she had no way of knowing that it would come to something like this, but still... _I guess there's no putting it off any longer. I'll have to see if someone in Mauville is willing to teach me._ She noticed Nurse Joy going about her business behind the counter, and she raised her hand to interrupt her. "Excuse me?"

"Yes?" Joy asked, turning to her. She took note of Yukari's grumpy face. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing _wrong_, really. I'm just wondering if you know of any good bicycle shops here in town..."

_**-GAP-**_

Merril Elliott was the curious and inquisitive sort. Never satisfied to leave things be even at the best of times, she had found herself wondering about that woman who had effectively curbstomped the entire gang without showing any signs of awareness.

The defeat hadn't sat right with her, but it wasn't the ease with which it had been done; it was the complete improbability of it. The odds of pulling off a victory in those conditions were astronomical to begin with. Aside from not using any Pokémon, the woman didn't even have the muscle mass that the average trainer possessed from travelling. The strength shown in that fight would've needed to be equal to that of the average body-builder... no, _greater._

Staring up at her bedroom ceiling, Merril wondered what to do. She had wanted from a young age to travel Hoenn like everyone else, battling trainers and becoming number one... every kid's dream. There was just one problem with that: her older sister was _extremely_ protective of her. If she set foot outside Mauville, Lindsey- - -the original Violet Vigoroth, and the leader of said gang- - -would know all about it and chase after her. Merril would get dragged back and be subjected to a drawn-out lecture, like "UV rays are bad for you!" or "You don't need to travel; you're fine where you are!"

Merril pouted as she thought about this, idly reaching over to scratch the back of her Slakoth's head. The lazy-bones Pokémon, true to form, was relaxing peacefully. _So I can't deal with strong sunlight too well. Big deal. That doesn't mean I'm weak. I was able to get that badge from the Mauville gym leader, no problem. Why can't she just let me take an umbrella or something? Isn't that why they were invented in the first place, to deal with sunshine?_

_...Fine. If she won't let me leave, I've got no choice. Plan B it is._

Getting up from her bed, Merril went to her desk and pulled out a laptop. After switching it on she waited impatiently for it to finish booting up, then quickly got to work. _Now then... let's see what the all-powerful Internet can tell me. Just who _is_ this woman?_

_**-GAP-**_

"You're serious?"

"Technically I'm Yukari, but yes."

The local bike shop's owner, known to everyone as Rydel (last name unknown), was frowning as he mulled over Yukari's words. He seemed a nice enough man, if a bit intimidating at first. "Hard as it is to believe, you're the first person I've met who has ever admitted to not knowing how to ride a bicycle. Most of my costumers just buy one, then learn on the go."

"And the rest of them?" Yukari asked.

"The rest of them don't."

Yukari sniffed, letting the barest traces of haughtiness enter her tone. "Huh... must not be very brave individuals, then." She gestured at the shop's expanse; the place was bigger than it looked from the outside, and housed about a hundred different bikes of assorted types and colors in addition to repair kits and supplies. _Just how many people does he have working for him?_ "So... to start off, I'll need one that'll get me to where I'm going _quickly._ I'm a bit rushed._"_

"Quickly?"

"Quickly. As in 'hopping mad Electrode' quickly. As in 'Ninjask on coffee' quickly. You get what I mean, correct?"

Rydel nodded, smiled, and rubbed his hands together. "You'll be wanting one of my Mach Bikes, then. A bit difficult to control, but on straight paths it will eat up the kilometers quickly. Best of all, it can be folded up for easy storage." His smile wavered. "Of course, since you haven't learned how to ride one yet..."

"I'll figure it out on the fly," Yukari decided. "Staying upright on those things can't be _too_ difficult."

"Hmm... well, alright." Rydel scratched his chin. "Though from the looks of your pockets, it doesn't look like you're carrying much cash..."

"..."

"Don't give me that disgruntled look, miss. You're not as bad off as you think you are. Let me make a deal with you."

Yukari's eyes met those of Rydel's. "What kind of deal?"

"Virtually all of my advertising is done either through word of mouth, or by having the occasional visitor spread the word around Hoenn. I haven't had as many costumers in the past few months, so if you're willing to take that bicycle on a trip, I'll let you take it free of charge."

"Under the circumstances, Mr. Rydel, I can't really refuse. I'll do it."

...

It was ten minutes later that Yukari walked out the door, wheeling her chosen Mach Bike along. The bicycle had been designed for full-grown people in mind, and it looked remarkably sturdy (although she was warned that the bike would not be able to stand up to electric attacks). In contrast to her violet-white color scheme, the bike was red and black instead. _Yami Reimu: Revenge of the Miko, now in theaters... ah, funny,_ she thought, amused.

Reaching a north-south street that looked like it led out of Mauville, Yukari put her parasol inside her pack and seated herself on the vehicle. _Alright... Rydel was nice enough to tell me that unless I'm trying too hard, the bicycle's not going to just fall over while I'm still on it. Just stay calm, don't grandstand, and pedal. The rest will take care of itself. Easy now, easy..._

Gripping the bike's handlebars, she followed those mental instructions.

_**-GAP-**_

A young boy and his father, residents of Mauville, looked out their apartment window as a flock of birds was witnessed taking flight outside the city.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Jeff?"

"Why are all those Taillow flying around? Did something scare them?"

"Maybe an amateur bicyclist lost control of her bike and forged her own path through Hoenn, crashing through everything in her way and creating a new route for future trainers to follow?"

"...You don't have to tell me if you don't know, papa."

"Thank you, Jeff."

_**-GAP-**_

Rustboro City. Home of the Devon Corporation, the Gym Leader Roxanne, the Trainer's School... and the librarian Amber Harrison: a legend in her own mind.

A little more than ten years ago, she was no egotist: she was just a pretty black-haired Unova-born trainer who'd had enough of the travelling life and settled down in Rustboro. She was highly intelligent, liked kids and had a thing for organization, so she was asked to take charge of the library when the position became available. The two-story building was a stone's throw from the Trainer's School, so the facility saw a lot of traffic. Amber passed her days helping children, and had later recommended that Roxanne should aim to become a Gym Leader when she was shown to have the right attitude.

But as Bill Cosby once put it, "my wife and I were intellectuals... before we had children." After Amber became a librarian, she married and had kids of her own. **Quadruplets**. For a decade she was run ragged as the couple struggled to raise them and rein in their mischievous impulses; some people swore that her _skin_ was turning gray instead of her hair, and it was rare to see her without an exhausted look on her face. Finally three of the kids set out to become trainers together, easing her burden and giving her the chance to slowly recover from the increasing stress. Amber called herself a survivor, telling her tales to anyone who would listen and taking pride in her motherhood. Those with children sympathized with her, but most everyone else just called her annoying. It took weeks before she was finally convinced to shut up.

For reasons unknown even to her parents, the fourth child- - -named 'Ellen', after Amber's own mother- - -showed no inclination of wanting to leave Rustboro as she approached (and then passed) the 10-year mark. She spoke very little, if at all, and before doing so she always waited a few seconds before saying what was on her mind. She had a very cynical view of the world, and never felt as if it was worth going out in.

Instead of finding friends and playing with them, Ellen instead sequestered herself either in her home or at the library, seeming deadset on reading everything that was available whether she understood it or not. She liked swimming (so long as her father's Swampert was there to keep an eye on her) and she kept a small garden behind her home, so it wasn't as if she was physically weak for her age, but aside from that she spent little time outdoors. Most people found her cold to be around, having trouble looking into her half-closed eyes as they talked to her, and they tried to stay away from her when they could. Only Roxanne, Amber's parents, and a select few others could put up with her for long.

At the same time Yukari was talking to Rydel, Rustboro's library had just opened for the morning. An assortment of middle-aged people were sitting around, reading newspapers from around Hoenn. Roxanne, with the aid of a Geodude, was gathering research materials for a class that she was going to assist with that day. Ellen was sitting at the table closest to the front desk, a stack of books on astronomy before her as she decided which one to read first.

Having just finished cataloguing some new additions to the library, Amber sat down at the front desk and sighed quietly. Ellen's eyes flicked in her direction. "...Something wrong, mother?" she asked in a naturally soft-spoken tone.

"It's nothing, dear," Amber answered, her voice dry and just a bit raspy as she spoke at an equally low volume. Libraries _were_ supposed to be peaceful, after all. "Calico's just been insufferable lately, that's all."

"...Delcatty's disappearance?"

"Yes. By all accounts it doesn't make sense, but you already know about that."

Ellen was silent for about half a minute. "...It could be another gang of thieves. ...Just because Teams Magma and Aqua have gone straight... doesn't mean that there aren't others causing trouble. Has Calico already talked to the police?"

"Twice." Amber took a sip from a previously unseen cup of coffee and smoothed out a wrinkle in the gray sweater she was wearing. "Both times they told her that while Pokémon have been reported missing, no one has been _seen,_ let alone caught in the act of thievery. Officer Jenny promised to look into it."

"...I take back what I said. No offense to her or the department," Ellen said as she plucked a book about the solar system from the top of the pile, "...but I'm starting to think that this is beyond anything that humans could carry out. ...Pokémon, maybe, but humans are just not that stealthy. They don't have the intelligence for it."

/-/

Out in Unova, Jessie, James and Meowth got the vague suspicion that they were being insulted somehow.

/-/

Amber frowned at Ellen. "Dear, you shouldn't belittle us like that... _or_ yourself. You've snuck up on me _plenty_ of times."

"...I was entirely unaware that I was doing so." Ellen flipped through the pages until she found a section that interested her, then settled back in her seat to read. Entirely straight-faced, she continued: "...although admittedly, it was funny watching you jump up and flail about in the air like that."

"I suppose I should punish you for having a laugh at your mother's expense," Amber warned her in a huff. "You'll be confined to your room the rest of the day. Nothing to read, and you can't go outside to swim."

"...Never once did I laugh. It's a completely unnecessary thing." Beat. "...All I said was that it was funny. Nothing more, nothing less."

Frowning, Amber turned towards Roxanne for help, but all the Gym Leader could offer was a smile and a weak, nervous laugh before she continued her methodical search. With a sigh, Amber folded her arms on the counter and rested her head there. "How did you get to be so smart? You didn't get any of that from your father. Certainly not from me."

"..." Ellen looked up from her book, staring out at nothing. "...I've often wondered..."

Amber waited for her to continue, but she never did. Deciding that the conversation was over, Ellen fully focused on her reading material and kept her mouth closed.

The librarian felt inclined to ground her for the rest of the day, but refrained from doing so. It would just cause a minor scene, and it was too nice a morning to let a snarky child put a damper on it. Instead, Amber took out a deck of cards and opted to pass the time with some Solitaire, intending to enjoy a few moments of peace before anyone needed her for something.

Shame that the tranquillity didn't last, for only a few minutes later...

_"Clear a path, clear a path! I can't stop this thing! Everyone out of my way!"_

Everyone on the library's ground floor practically jumped out of their seats as something _**crashed**_ into the main entrance, shattering the glass on impact, forcing the door open and provoking most of those present into taking cover. Yukari and her out-of-control Mach Bike barged inside; Amber's mouth dropped open at her obvious insanity, but things were happening too quickly for her to protest. The bike crashed into the side of the front desk, catapulting Yukari out of her seat and _over_ the counter. She finally came to a forceful rest, slamming back-first onto Ellen's desk and dislodging the books that were piled there. Her pack wound up on the ground amidst the chaos.

Being the closest aside from the Harrisons, Roxanne was the first to reach her; her baffled Geodude stayed close by. "Excuse me, miss? Please! Are you alright?" she cried out, alarmed.

"Can't speak," Yukari groaned, looking more frustrated than pained. "Reticulating...spine. Ouch..."

Ellen gave no sign that the situation bothered her in any way, having not budged throughout it all. "...Health and Medicine, third row from the stairs."

"_Ellen, stop being rude!"_

_**-GAP-**_

Merril jerked in surprise. As if connected by strings, her computer chair's wheels skidded and tossed her sideways onto the floor with a _whump._ She ignored this, her eyes wider than her fists as the information fully sunk into her brain.

_What._

_...What._

_... ...__**What.**_

"No. No no no no no no no," Merril muttered, shaking her head repeatedly. Jumping back to her feet, she brushed aside her scraggly bangs and edged as close to her laptop's screen as she dared. "This... this can't be right. No. It can't. She should've aged. She should've looked at least a _little_ different. This just won't fly. This just won't fly!"

But it flew; reality didn't care whether Merril didn't believe it or not. Of course, considering that reality was not a physical being, that was a given. The Violet Vigoroths' resident computer geek was looking at a "Prospective Trainer" sheet that was being sent from the Mauville Pokémon Center to Professor Birch in Littleroot, courtesy of Nurse Joy. It showed a picture of the woman that had kicked the gang's collective butts; her smile would've looked pleasant on anyone else, but on her it set off sirens in Merril's mind. Amongst other stats were her age (estimated to be around 30), birthplace (some town not far from Mount Chimney), Pokémon (just a Ninetales)...

...and her listed name.

A decade ago, there was a series of articles published in a Lilycove-based magazine revolving around the life and disappearance of one Yukari Yakumo. It was a small-town sort of mystery that stymied everyone, most of all those who had been closest to her, and it continued to be a topic of conversation in Hoenn for another five years before even the local conspiracy theorists gave up on solving it; as big as it was, and as big of an Internet junkie as Merril was, it was inevitable that she'd learn all about it sooner or later. The details were pouring back into her head even now.

Fifteen years ago, Yukari had been discovered unconscious at the foot of Mount Chimney one night. The couple who discovered her, the Laydens, had said that there was no sign of injury or illness; not taking any chances, they brought her back to their home and looked after her until she woke up. Upon awakening she seemed mildly curious at her surroundings, but took her whereabouts in stride. She then seemed caught off guard, first by something that she refused to talk about, and then by the presence of Kevin's long-time companion Linoone; she was on record as saying that she "had never seen a Pokémon before", which most (read: _all)_ people thought was a lie, and she was wary of them at first. Several decades old at _least, _and she had never seen one? Had she been hiding beneath a boulder all her life?

Whether it was considered a lie or not, over the course of that first month her entire attitude changed. One description of Yukari said that she possessed the sort of wonder that a rookie trainer had upon truly seeing the world around her for the first time. She had become increasingly fond of the Laydens, spending most of her free time with them. Whenever she wasn't working with them, she was either walking the paths immediately outside the town or conversing with the locals about life and Pokémon.

One citizen swore that he once saw her _standing atop a lamppost_ one evening_,_ staring eastward towards the far-off forests and positively aglow with happiness and satisfaction; when he questioned her, she said: "Such good-natured behavior... such cooperation and spirit... I wonder: what sort of world has allowed these circumstances, for them both to permit the residence of monsters in their personal paradise?... What sort of lives have their ancestors led, to allow a time when the normal and the special would unite this way?... Wherever I look, whether at nature or at civilization, this land is beautiful... fantastically so, and it is far more valuable than all the treasures and artifacts of the world. I shall sear these sights into my mind and heart so that I do not forget the time I've spent here. Both races should be proud, for they have accomplished something impossible: they have gained the approval of the ageless." When asked what she was talking about, she smiled but said nothing further.

As positive as Yukari's comments were, they were seen as the second sign that she was not everything she appeared to be. The articles talked about her being joined by a Vulpix, and the time she'd spent training it. Finally one day, with only the little fox bearing witness to it, she just plain and utterly **disappeared.**

Everyone feared the worst when said disappearance was discovered. Foul play? Abduction by a misguided Pokémon? Some joke gone entirely wrong? Some combination of the three? No one could say; only Vulpix really knew, and she could not express her views in terms that people could understand. While the Laydens expressed concern for her safety, wherever she was, Vulpix was out of her head with worry; it took much convincing from the head of the household before she could bring herself to eat. In the meantime, the town and much of the surrounding area was scoured for clues as to her whereabouts, but with no success.

Days, weeks, _months_ went by one after another. There was no word from anyone that Yukari had turned up anywhere, and gradually the citizens came to accept that wherever she went, she was gone for good. Life went on, disregarding those travelers and overly curious investigators who wouldn't let the matter rest. Those people would be told the story about the mysterious lady, and they would speculate as to why she was so secretive and why she left when she did. No one would really know the truth.

_Until now!_

There was no denying it: she was back. Why and how, Merril didn't know, but there was something about the possibility of hearing those experiences first-hand that got her blood pumping. Underlying it all was caution: Yukari was _not_ to be trifled with, if the gang's beatdown had proved anything. As the saying went, with her there was more than met the eye.

Merril's tremendous smile took up nearly half her face... that which could be seen, anyway. _As if I'd let something like that stop me! Forget that, forget my lupus, forget the sunlight. I'm __**going!**_ She turned towards her bedroom door and shouted: "Lindseyyyy! Lindsey, _yo!_ Get up here, now! You gotta see this!"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Huh..."

A red and white sphere sat on the banks of Misty Lake. Daylight shined down on its metallic surface, illuminating it before the eyes of Gensokyo's most well-known (and most annoying, to some) fairy. She sat down on the cold ground, not minding the temperature one bit.

"Wowww..."

Another fairy, better known by the name others gave her than the one she gave herself, joined her friend and stared at the sphere in awe. "It's very pretty, Cirno."

"Yeah." The ice fairy picked up the sphere and took a closer look, barely noticing the thin layer of frost that had formed on contact. "It's red and white. You think it belongs to the miko?"

Daiyousei thought about this for all of two seconds. "I don't know. I've never seen it before."

"...I say we keep it." Cirno looked up at Dai, teeth gleaming as she smiled. "If it's hers, she goes nuts trying to find it. If it's not, we can keep it as a toy. Either way, we win!"

"Shouldn't we find out what's in it before we steal it?" Dai suggested.

Cirno gave her a confused look. "What's in it? Isn't it just a metal ball?"

"Look at it, look at it."

Cirno did so, but she still didn't get it at first. It took about fifteen seconds before an honest-to-goodness intelligent thought formed in her brain. "Hey, maybe there's a treasure in here or something."

"But what would we do with it?" Dai lifted off, slowly circling around. Eagerly yet curiously, she appended: "What kind of treasure would fit in there?"

"We'll get to that later. Now help me get this open, would you?"

/-/-/

Their subsequent efforts to try and open the sphere weren't successful. Dai tried prying it open with a dagger bullet... but nothing. Cirno tried the same thing, but her much larger ice sword had next to no leverage to work with. It didn't stop her from making additional attempts in doing so, resorting to splitting it open when things didn't pan out. That didn't work out either, as the metal was somewhat tougher than any non-magical craftsmanship the little fairies had ever encountered.

After twenty minutes Cirno finally flung the sphere to the ground, fed up. "That's it," she decided. "We were going to do this the easy way, and now it wants to do this the hard way!"

"What's the hard way?" Dai asked, sure that she knew the answer already.

She was right. "I'm going to attack it and yell at it until it gives in." Cirno calmed down enough to explain this to her friend. "Don't tell me you didn't know that already. I thought all fairies did."

_Only because we don't know any better!_ Dai wanted to say. What she heard herself saying was: "Alright. Give it what for, okay?", as she got out of Cirno's path.

The Ice Fairy's wonderful brain swerved onto a new train of thought, completely missing the ol' 5:15 and making the other passengers complain. Her face scrunched up as she tried to make sense of what was spoken. "'Give it what for'? What does that mean?"

"I don't know," Daiyousei confessed. "I overheard a villager say that once while he was fishing. It sounded appropriate."

"How do you figure?"

Dai thought back to that sight she'd seen, trying hard to remember. It strained the limits of her childlike memory, but remember she did. "There was this funny man, and he was having trouble catching fish at the river. ...I think he was muttering that to himself. The next time I saw him, he was bringing a dozen fish back to the village. Maybe it's a blessing?"

"Wow." Cirno looked down at the sphere, smiling. "Neat. So do you want me to give it what for?"

Dai nodded, fists held close to her. "Yes. Do it. Give it what for!"

A nod. "Count on it!"

...

Cirno backed up a half-dozen meters, preparing herself for what she was about to do. Eyes flicked from one side to another; aside from her and Dai, there was no one present. She took a breath, let it out...

...and charged ahead, flying low to the ground. When she got close enough, she swerved and brought one leg across at an angle. Her teeth gritted, she exclaimed: "Would you just..." Her foot connected with the sphere, kicking it against a nearby rock. "_- - -OPEN_ already?!"

The sphere bounced off the rock and the ground once each, then obligingly obeyed the Ice Fairy's command.

If Aya had been around, she would have recorded Cirno and Daiyousei's surprised looks for posterity (_It worked on the first try?!_ had crossed both their minds in that instant). As it was, only the metal orb witnessed it. It split in half down the middle, popping open and spitting out a wave of red light. "Don't look at it!" Daiyousei shrieked, warping within the branches of the nearest tree. Cirno flew straight up, intending to dodge what could only be an attack...

...And stopped, pleasantly surprised when the red light took shape on the ground, forming an amphibian and bringing it to life. The light faded, and the sphere resealed itself.

"Croa... Croa..."

Cirno turned and gestured at Daiyousei. "It's okay, Dai. It's just a frog. A really ugly frog."

Daiyousei flew out of cover, and the two of them slowly descended towards the ground. She would've been disappointed that there wasn't any treasure inside if she hadn't been distracted by the novelty of what had just occurred. "Do frogs even come in blue?"

"Croa... Croa..."

After a moment's thought Cirno flew in a wide circle around the frog, examining it. "Those circles on its face make it look creepy."

"Croa... Croa..."

"And it looks like there's white paint on its belly," Daiyousei added. "...And it has hands. Are frogs supposed to have hands?"

"Croa... Croa..."

The frog wasn't paying attention to them, doing little more than sitting on the ground and croaking. Cirno wondered why she was feeling a trifle scared, then lost her fear altogether. "Who cares? It's just a frog. And you know what that means."

Dai hung her head and sighed. "You're going to freeze it, aren't you?"

Cirno actually looked befuddled at this. "What else would I want to do with a frog? Make it croak different kinds of sake?"

"Croa... Croa..."

"What does sake have to do with this?" Dai protested, knee-deep in confusion. "I didn't drink too much! I don't want to get frozen!"

"What kind of silly thought is that?" Cirno flew over to the frog, an icy mist gathering around one hand. "It's not you I'm freezing; it's the frog! Now, watch this!" She brought her hand down towards the frog's head...

"- - -GHAACK!"

It never got there. Quick as lightning, a purple-tipped hand snaked in and jabbed Cirno's gut, stopping her in her tracks. The frog backed off two steps, watching as the ice fairy doubled over in mid-air, then lowered its hand and continued to look on passively. "Croa... Croa... Croa..."

"_Cirno!"_ Daiyousei flew over, her wings fluttering madly as she helped her friend upright. "What happened? Are you okay? C'mon, c'mon, speak up already!"

"Ooof..." Cirno raised her head, glaring at the frog venomously; fitting, considering she suddenly felt rather... under the weather. "Ugly frogs hit hard... no fair, hitting me when I wasn't looking!"

"Cirno, you _were_ looking," Daiyousei reminded her, sweatdropping and wondering how long she could support the ice fairy without her hands getting frostbitten.

"I was looking at the face, not the fist," Cirno countered as she struggled to free herself, incensed. "C'mon, Dai, let me go! There's going to be blustery vengeance in the woods tonight!"

Cirno was reasonably smart and strong as far as fairies went, like Shiki had once said, but when it came to taking things into consideration her entire species was sorely lacking. The frog's strike had poisoned her, venom seeping through her systems and steadily draining her willpower. Her reflexes and reactions were working against her as she fought the urge to lay down somewhere.

Also, her unawareness of this notwithstanding, the different styles and rules of combat that the two combatants were used to had clashed horribly. The idea of youkai and such from different worlds existing had never been in Reimu's mind when she created the Spell Card system. It thus failed to take into account the network of strengths and weaknesses that the Pokémon types possessed. Cirno, having an affinity with ice, was accordingly placed in an unenviable position:

...That of being doubly weak against tremendous physical attacks.

Wrenching herself free from Daiyousei's grip and ignoring her friend's surprised cry, Cirno leapt straight up into the air as the temperature around her dropped sharply. With a yell of _"Super Ice Kick!"_, announcing her intention to enter a Spell Card duel with this creature, she spun furiously and plummeted with one foot extended...

...Only to miss entirely, instead freezing over seven square meters worth of land as her target leapt clear from ground zero. Recovering from the dizziness brought on by the spinning, Cirno looked up...

"Croa..."

...And was greeted by the frog as it dropped towards her from above. Its right hand was shining white as it swung in a downwards arc straight at her face.

"_...gunnnk!"_

"_YEEEEK- - -"_

Her panicked screech was cut off as the frog's brick-breaking smash was delivered to her front door, the shipping costs prepaid and its strength far out of proportion to the amphibian's size. Cirno rebounded off the ground, splintering some of the ice beneath her, and flipped end over end a half dozen times before finally hitting the ground back-first. Just as quickly as the fight had begun, it was over.

"Wah...! Cirno!"

Daiyousei dived in, anxious to help her friend, but slowed down when the frog pinned her with a dreadful stare. "P-please," she stuttered. "I don't w-want to fight y-you. Can... c-can I please help my friend if we p-promise to leave you alone?"

The frog's gaze remained locked on hers for the better part of fifteen seconds; the only sounds were the odd birdsong and that spooky croaking. When the frog finally tired of staring at her, it tucked the metal sphere under its arm and walked off sedately without any fear of being broadsided, perhaps knowing that Daiyousei was too unnerved to attempt a sneak attack in retaliation.

"Owwww," Cirno groaned as she sat up, her hand on her forehead. "What hit me? Where did it go?"

"Can we talk later?" Daiyousei asked as she helped Cirno upright. "I need to go home before that thing comes back."

"...Well, okay. I'm feeling kind of awful anyway... Bet you never thought I'd say _that,_ huh?... Let me go, Dai. I can fly fine. It's my head that hurts, not my wings."

The greater fairy released her. "If you say so..." Daiyousei turned and flew off a few feet, then paused. "And could you try not to pick any fights between now and tomorrow?"

Cirno pouted. "You act like I get into fights all the time..."

"But you do! ...Or at least that's what it feels like."

"...Just go home, Dai. I'll see you tomorrow."

With obvious reluctance, Daiyousei waved good-bye and flew off towards home; dragging herself through the air, Cirno did the same. "I'll be alright," she told herself. "I'll be alright, I'll be alright. No violent frog gets the best of the strangest! ... Strangest? No, that's not it... oh, never mind!"

/-/-/-/

"Croa... croa..."

Croagunk stood before Misty Lake, taking a few minutes to examine his reflection. It was a rather eventful day, at least by the poison frog Pokémon's standards, and he wanted to spend the remaining time quietly.

A shadow swam beneath the Lake's surface. Focusing on it before it disappeared, Croagunk noted that it was a very pretty woman. Or perhaps it was a fish? Or maybe a woman in a half-fish costume? ...Whatever she was, she still could've made any man go bananas just by introducing herself. This inevitably caused a question to form in Croagunk's mind:

_How did I get separated from that skirt-chasing trainer of mine, anyway?_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Lugia's moveset: Hydro Pump, Rain Dance, Aeroblast, Recover

Approximate Level: 82

**Kanako's Notes:** The old command "Be careful what you wish for; you might get it" has struck home once again. I had wished that we could somehow use the Pokémon for our benefit, and one of the strongest of them has made its home right in our backyard. From what it told us and how it behaved- - -wait a few moments. Yakumo's servant has landed nearby. She should know something about this.

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Croagunk's moveset: Poison Jab, Poison Sting, Brick Break

Approximate Level: ?

**Cirno's Notes:** Did I eat something bad for fairies? Am I imagining this? I've been punched by Marisa and the Hakurei maiden often enough, and it's never hurt this much. That must mean that the frog's stronger than they are! Ah-hahahaha! ... Who am I kidding? I'm going to try again to freeze it someday. It wouldn't be me if I didn't, right?


End file.
